simtropolis Terrible News: Cori has gone

[Cyclone Boom 17,031]

This is without doubt the hardest post I've ever had to make.

I had to spend the past couple of days composing myself, and coming to terms with the fact we may never see @CorinaMarie again.

I truly wish this wasn't the reality we now face, but everything suggests otherwise.

----------

Cori has been absent from Simtropolis since 18:32 (EDT) on Friday 15 July, 2022.

Firstly to give a bit of background context to paint the picture...

During the past few months, Cori has been enduring real life turmoil with the passing of a very close relative, and also an untimely turn of events which meant there was no other option but to move house. Big changes in life were set to happen, and an unknown with a new job and how this might affect participation on Simtropolis. I tried my very best to maintain optimism how it could be made to work out, and I'd continue taking care of the site while Cori needed time away. Throughout this time it's been my total focus to provide the support I could, even though I'm many miles away and could only give emotional and not physical assistance.

Cori frequently thanked me for giving the support I was able, and understood it was a limitation of our distance for not being able to help more. We were both content, and realised our friendship was integral to their ability to continue along in life.

As some of you may know, Cori and I are very good friends, and we chat on Skype on a daily basis. That day on Friday was just like any usual day. We'd been allocating "work time" so she could get on with sorting things for the upcoming house move. Cori returned just after 17:44 that day, and we caught up on site notifications (or beeps as she liked to call them). After doing so, Cori played a SC4 for a bit, before we had a relaxing time prior to calling it a night. Little did I know at 22:09 that evening, it would be the last chat message I'd receive from her (at least to now).

Usually I'm a little too quick to become concerned in such situations, although this fear stemmed from a worst case scenario and trying to prevent it. I felt a duty of care to look after Cori in keep providing all the support as able. I encouraged and we still had recent fun times, and during the past few weeks things were looking hopeful with progress for RL things being accomplished. The future seemed brighter. I reinforced how she wasn't alone, and still had me to talk with about any concerns or fears. I tried to give hope for the future in years ahead. The prospects of what can be achieved in both reality and creatively in game.

Just that last night we were saying about still seeing ourselves playing SC4 for the next 10-20 years in some form. I believed it too.

The following morning (Saturday 16th) I awoke and checked Skype to see Cori had not returned as expected.

The time by then was about 14 hours since, and I received an email and written document file from them. The start of the message said "Hiya, CB." but then the following sentence made me realise the theme of what it would be about:  "This is devastating news."

I knew instantly this was something dreadful. It was tragic.

While I'll not post the full details of the message since it's very personal, I can sum it up with this quote:

Cori said:

For ST, you can decide if you want to post the truth or just have me fade away saying you don't know what happened when peeps begin to notice my absence. Ofc any modding, programming, game pics, or anything else (posted or not) can be made freely available to anyone.

 

Cori said they planned to not continue on in life.

The implication of reasoning was due to the pressures of their situation, and prospects of the future being less than desirable. I can empathise with this position, as it sounded awful. As much as wishing it didn't come to this, and if only there was still another possible pathway.

I'm still unsure whether they went through with these plans, but at this point I fear the worst. There were no signs leading up to Saturday how this might become a possibility. Again, I wish with all my heart this wasn't reality. Perhaps there's even a remote possibility they changed their mind.

Hope can sometimes be artificial, but I suppose it's a natural trait. We always keep hope.

They concluded their message by thanking me for our friendship with very heartfelt words.
 

Cori, if by chance you're still here and somehow read this message, I still wish to chat with you again.

You are still a much valued Member, Moderator and Admin, and you'll continue to be treasured by us all.

At this point I'm still in a combination of shock and denial. I cannot believe this has happened. Not only to my very best friend, but for how much the absence of Cori will send shock waves through the entire community. About involvement with Simtropolis, she often said much about enjoying being part of this place, and also for the way SC4 was still a focal interest to us both. If this mayoral world was reality, I know you'd still be here now.

In the days ahead I'll make another post here which explains where I personally stand, and what this means for Simtropolis.

----------

To end this post, here is a timely beautiful song I remember Cori once mentioned:

 

And an image which Cori and I both particularly admired from the James Webb telescope First Images release:

(This is officially named the Carina Nebula, but at the time while chatting, we decided to name it the Corina Nebula.)

It seems only fitting to conclude my post here with this very image.

-CB

[Jasoncw 11,949]

Terrible news indeed...

When she first joined the site I was struck by how quickly she dove into all aspects of the site. But it didn't take very long to see that she was the real deal.

Some of her modding projects were either somewhat niche things, maybe not necessarily complex, but things that somehow no one had made after almost 20 years of modding. Some of her modding projects were investigating aspects of the game that few knew how to and fewer were willing to. I was surprised that she (and I may be mistaken) didn't have any computer background, and that she learned so much so fast and then actually put the work in into doing these projects.

And as an administrator she was very responsive, engaged, and reasonable. Not only to members of the site in general but to moderators as well. There are not many people who have seen things from the moderator's point of view for the length of time that I have, and I can say that even though the community isn't as active as it once was, behind the scenes things have been smoother and more productive than I ever recall.

So everything she did here was very much appreciated. And with how much you did together and how well you worked together this applies to you as well, and I hope that you know that you are also appreciated. Thank you for being transparent with us (while also respecting Corina's privacy). It's a very difficult position for you to be in, right now, in the past few months, and moving into the future. I'm very very sorry for your loss.

I'll hold out a little bit of hope as well, because these situations can be chaotic. But whatever is happening in Indiana right now, there are many people thinking of her from all around the world.

[matias93 7,535]

Wow, this is really shocking.

Aside from any and all technical prowesses she has shown, Cori has been the kind of person that makes a group of people with a common interest, a community. In an every day more hostile online world, her tenderness and care with everyone has made this place a sort of refuge. It would be incredibly sad to see that it wasn't of use for her.

Cori, if you are reading this, pondering your situation, please know that we can help, we can lend an ear and offer support in many ways, and not just now, if it's necessary. You are not alone on this, and no one will hold it against you if you ask for something; if anything, you have done so much for us, it's only fair that we give a hand back to you.

If, regardless, it has happened, I feel is not my place to offer empty platitudes. I could only be grateful to have found in her presence and care a beacon of good in what only euphemistically can be called 'difficult times', and a need and a hope to be able to keep on what she had given to our community.

CB, please know that, whatever happens, you have been more than enough, for her and for us, and that we will be grateful, no matter what you decide to do. I'm witness to the way Cori has always talked about you with a kindness that only real friends can grow together. My offer for help is just as good for you as it is for her.

[TogaMasterJohn 711]

Oh my gosh... I have no words at all  this is truly devastating if this is true... thoughts and prayers for her and her family (regardless).

If you are still here Cori - you are loved by many here on Simtropolis. You are a part of the heart of Simtropolis. You are not alone. Please understand that. I am positive that many individuals on this website would love to help out in any way possible.

I have admired your work and your work with CB. It is truly amazing. All of your helpful and kind responses on this wonderful forum are cherished. Your dedication and your love for the community is incredible - not to mention the game. 

[Jackspital 391]

This is truly devastating and shocking, and I truly hope for the best outcome. From early on when Cori joined I had seen a lot of her great activity and modding, and became a part of many things that brought joy and happiness to me and many other members. Me and the whole community love Cori, as well as Cyclone and all the members on here.  This post is a very somber but wonderful piece for Cori, and I know its definitely what she would've wanted. We're all here for you also CB, I hope you're well x

[davide1983it 5,421]

very sad to read it , i hope that a day came back..a big hug to Corine

[CaptCity 4,913]

This is such a stunning piece of news... 

When the news first developed, words were hard to come by. Cori means so much to so many here. She is a treasure and we are all very fortunate to have had her on the scene. She and CB operated as a great team and kept the site not just running, but relevant to the community that it serves. While hope may be slim, things do happen that may present alternatives to any situation, and I'm sure all her family and friends are in our thoughts.

And CB, the friendship that existed between the two of you was always very much apparent. Please reach out for any assistance that you may need.

 

[rsc204 21,866]

Having read CB's news and I'm sure like so many others here, I am just clinging to hope that something has happened that has prevented Cori from getting in touch. Since her arrival in the community she brought a fresh way of looking at things and helped so many people, it seems unthinkable that she would no longer be around. In such a short time she became part of the very foundations of our community and this place could never be the same without her.

Please be OK Cori, however bad things seem, there is always light even when it might seem otherwise. So many people here will be worrying about you, which is simply a reflection of all the good you've done here and that speaks volumes to your personality.

I'm just in total shock and in fear of the worst, the candle that burns twice as bright, shines half as long, but in my heart I still hope there are some embers burning out of view.

[hugues aroux 3,867]

Oh how sad it is! A bit of the soul of our community is gone. I would like to believe that this is only temporary. All my affection to Cori and to you too CB !

[Ulisse Wolf 4,456]

This is terrible news. CorinaMarie is an essential member not only of Simtropolis but a real pillar of the SimCity 4 community. I am hoping that she had an impediment because of the RL and can connect but I hope she is well. Even if life is hard you have a group of great friends who can offer help and comfort even at long distances.

Obviously the NAM Team and also the staff of SC4Devotion were shocked by this news and we are hoping that she is well. Of course we offer our help in case CB needs help

[Tarkus 6,933]

Cori has been really a fantastic part of this site and of the broader SC4 community over these past few years, and someone who I've regarded as a great colleague and friend.  She's very much been a "lead by example" sort--she dived into the deep end of the game and its technical side, going into a lot of fascinating and underdeveloped areas, and was always extraordinarily friendly and helpful.  It's been an absolute joy being a part of this community with her, and I'd say that she (and you as well, CB) have been tremendous stewards of Simtropolis these past few years.  I really can't imagine just what all you must be going through with this CB, and just the mere thought of it overcomes me with sadness.

Like all of you here, I am really, really hoping Cori is still with us.  And Cori, if you are here and reading this, know you have our support in helping get through these challenging times, and that we care about your well-being.

-Tarkus

[Jackspital 391]

@Cyclone Boom I would like to add that while the circumstances are still up in the air, I think a thread or area for off-topic could be pinned that discusses mental health and can be an open space for venting and talking? It may help for a place of support, especially when people such as Cori may be struggling outside of the forum space. 

Just a potential suggestion 

[Haljackey 17,393]

What terrible news. I am not sure what to say. I do want to thank you for sharing this update @Cyclone Boom. This must be especially difficult for you and I appreciate you taking the time to make this announcement. I'm sure it was not easy to translate what you are feeling into words.

I've never had anything but positive, friendly interactions with Cori and that is what always comes to mind when I think of her. She is a cornerstone of the community without a doubt, and everything she has done has only bettered this site and community relations.

Everyone- please don't ever forget to take care of yourselves. Your (physical and mental) health should come first above all else. Don't ever hesitate to reach out for help. That's what your family and friends are there for, and there are various outreach programs in your community and online / by phone you can contact at any time.

I try to be an optimist in life, even in the darker moments. Cori if you are able to read this, the road to recovery will be long and challenging, but you'll know yourself better than before. I wish you all the best!

-Ryan (Haljackey)

[Terring 6,476]

I really, really, REALLY hope that what happened was that Cori had a huge mental outburst and now she's taking her time to relax. I really hope it was words of the moment and that she'll be back. Simtropolis without Cori's enthusiasm and friendliness will not be the same again

[Tyberius06 12,260]

I am really speechless. I don't want to believe that this thing could have happened and I really hope that she did not succeed with this sad "plan" whatever that was, and she will get better eventually. It's really sad...

She is one of the most helpful and supporting member in the community. Without her, and her support and her influence on the community my recent organization projects might have never seen the light. Her and CB's support made possible many things for the benefit of all the community.

I can't imagine what you are going through @Cyclone Boom, but really hope that she is still with us. 

- Tibi (Tyberius06)

[Ceafus 88 1,887]

I suck with words, but I will do my best! Cori is a one of the many pillars of Simtropolis, she came around and it's like the site was transported back to 2011. Full of life, posts, organization and friendliness! I am praying for her and her mental health to improve, and hoping everyday she finds peace and comfort in whatever storm she is weathering. She's a special person on this website, so here's to hoping she finds the courage to carry on and push through! We are with you Cori! You always have a shoulder to lean on and a family to come to here!!

~Clayton

[mitsos 12,953]

I'm shοcked. I can't describe how bad i'm feeling. I'm really sorry.

[20huskies 4,699]

I am so sorry to hear this, @Cyclone Boom but thank you for sharing.  I pray Cori is still with us. I won’t make things worse as I often do when I talk too much , but I hope both Cori and you as well know we are behind you 100%

[TheMurderousCricket 5,097]

It took me a considerable time to piece together something that would make sense and support you in this challenging situation CB. The news are not good and we all need some time to let them sink in.

I know exactly how bad it is to loose a friend due to life circumstances. Loosing a person in an accident or due to a health condition is one thing. But loosing someone and knowing that, for pete's sake, this person is out there on this world (so to say) can sometimes be even more unbearable and complicated emotionally.

I have known @CorinaMarie for a year, perhaps a little more. It's a short time but I nonetheless feel that our interactions on Simtropolis were always very fruitful, insightful and productive. Of course, her evident kindness and angel's patience with even the most basic questions and concerns have made my "stay" on this forum a pleasant experience.

What I think I'm trying to say is that the little hearts that Cori was so generously clicking under my (and pretty much everybody else's) posts were not only "page features". Combined, they are an embodiment of love and care that she invests in this community every day and night and the reason why we still eagerly return to Simtropolis.

CB, please remember that we are always here for you. If you feel like chatting or even blurting out your emotions in an uncoordinated manner, feel free to reach out to us and we'll be glad to hear you out.

I believe Cori will come back to us one day. This will be a joyful day. While it may take a while, we definitely have to keep a free seat ready for her.

Love and kindness to you CoriBoom and all the other Friends out there - let's stick together for as long as possible.

[Indiana Joe 1,752]

Incredibly sad potential news, CB.  I don't have much to add to the volumes others have written about how much of an impact and presence Cori has here in the community.  The fact that everyone has a story about personal interactions and Cori's kindness says it all.

I think TheMurderousCricket brings up a good point that there is always a real person behind an online persona.  Often it is the most outwardly kind and considerate that have the deepest personal struggles.  It is all of our jobs to look after each other.  It doesn't matter what silly little thing started a community.  Whether it was baseball in an empty lot, or books, movies, or a video game.  When people have been gathering in the same space for nearly 20 years---it makes us all friends and family.

I hope that you, @Cyclone Boom, are able to look after yourself in this tough time.  I know that you are probably already working on things at the back-end (as you and Cori have done as a team for years).  I think most are aware, but suicidal ideation is an emergency and if someone you trust expresses it seriously, you need to contact the proper local authorities and get help for them ASAP.

 

I know we are all hoping for the best outcome.  Please reach out and lean on us when needed, CB....and that goes for everyone else.  Otherwise, there are a growing number of resources.  I am only familiar with ones in the U.S., but there are certainly international resources as well.

• Dialing 9-8-8 in the United States will connect you to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.  This brand-new number was just implemented in place of 1-800-273-TALK.
• The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention has a good list of resources.
  • Also see the guide for A Friend Who is at Risk.
• The Suicide Prevention Resource Center has local information for all 50 states.
• And finally, you can always dial 911 / 112.  A suicide plan is a medical emergency, and I respond to these as part of my full-time day job.  We will always take it seriously and transport someone to a medical professional, and the same is true around most of the world.

 

This is yet another index of links I have made, but I never hoped I would have to make this one.  I can't pretend that mental healthcare is as developed as I would like it to be, but the only way to begin the journey to getting better is by reaching out the first time.  Please take care everyone.  We hope to see you again, Corina Marie.

 

Matt

[TG24 355]

I can't believe this is happening, i just wish she read all the messages of the community and change her decision, i just sad how she decided that. 

Its just a horrible and sad news.

[Cyclone Boom 17,031]

CB here again. I'll reply more substantially within a few more days, but I just feel to briefly make a post now...

Thank you all for the wonderfully warm and heartfelt messages. The outpouring of support both here and those who've contacted me privately means so much. I believe too as we're replying inside of this topic, we're helping each other also. This is what defines our community in contrast to mainstream social media. We are a family.

I'm truly grateful everyone for the lovely words you've said about Cori who is still a friend to us even now. It is very true how Simtropolis wouldn't be how it is today without her. I can say with a certainty how I'd not even be an admin right now if she wasn't by my side for these past 5 years. I also know Cori would wish me to continue, and so I've found sufficient strength from all your support to say how right now that is my intention. I appreciate all the concerns about me too for my own well-being. I'm doing much better now having posted this topic, and also to read all your posts. For many I've gone back to read over your words multiple times too.

Let's still keep the belief how Cori might return someday. As you'll see, I've themed the site header in pink as a beacon of hope for her. This leads to the very topic here, and in standard CB Style™ it posed a typical technical challenge to implement via a small script. For a while it was silly as I had the search bar linking to the topic upon focus! That wasn't the intention, but I've got it sorted now. If she was online, I know right now Cori would be saying "Yay!" in Skype and telling me how I've done a good job.

I also made a quick status reply here on her profile saying a few words:

Spoiler

----------

Please do keep the messages coming whether long or short, as each are helping in this very challenging situation for us all.

With infinite gratitude,

-CB

[JP Schriefer 5,591]

Oh my God, this is devastating. I really hope Cori has changed her mind and she gets over what she's been going through. As other members have said, it was impressive how quickly she arrived at Simtropolis and became such a valued member. She is always very friendly, funny and considerate of everyone.

CB, even though I didn't exactly know your level of friendship with Cori in real life, it always seemed obvious across the forums that the identification between the two of you is very strong and beautiful. I can't even imagine how bad it is not knowing what's going on with such a dear friend in such a situation. Be well and also keep your hopes up.

[MarkShot 631]

Very Sad!

One never knows ...

I was glad I came along in time to have had some interaction with her to have some sense of her.

Cori was very generous with her time and help.  (This can be very hard when you hear the clock ticking.  But it is also very much a measure of one's character.)

I will never be able to write "Beep()" in code without thinking of you, Cori.  Vaya con Dios!

[justforfun 7,924]

Cori, you shocked me and us all. We peeps cannot believe your amicable and incredibly efficient support will be missing from the forums. You've always been amazingly fast in your replies, but now let me say you've been too fast to vanish! I wish we'd had a chance to help somehow, even from another continent, even if in your eyes I'm prolly just the screen name who made the carriages you liked to have roaming your cities. Well, please know behind that screen name there's a person who would love to give you a huge hug. Even if I've never seen you, I still know you a bit as your personality shines through everything you've done here. Hope one day to see you, Cori. <3

[BadSim 63]

We never spoke to each other Cori (I feel so limited when it comes to express my feelings in English) and yet I had inexplicable (of course inexplicable) tears yesterday, and all the day long I felt concern, anger, and, finally... shame grow in my mind. Why?

 

« Le goût des autres » (Real interest in people)

 

Le goût des autres  - in French because in that language, it means so much more than in its dull translation - it’s this thing so rare and so precious, this thing that hits me head on when I accidentally meet it, this thing that I don't have, that very few have, that you have Cori, this thing which is a gift and also, by essence,  a curse in such a self-centered, superficial when not hideous and violent world. This world in which our small community is only a shelter for privileged (temporarilly) people. This  world  which has caught up with you Cori,  he came to seek you in your dear shelter, and we are all measuring the extent of the disaster. And, of course,  we’ll do nothing to make things change. That’s why the shame; 595 000 suicides since the first of January 2022…  We Are This World.

 

I, monster… (Neveroddoreven)

 

I registered to Simtropolis  in 2004, some people may know me at Devotion . I exiled myself very early on other quieter sites that have long since disappeared (Simcitycentral first version which became Simphoni) then, since 2007, I joined Devotion… I I saw everything, read everything, followed everything here; the exciting discoveries from the pionners, the masters, the legends, but also the trolls shows, the conflicts (Pegasus, BSC Team), the jealousies, the insults, the  ‘despicable side of the moon’  . I fled everything. The community  has grown until its maturity, the embittered of all kinds have left to spread their bad seeds in more favorable fields (Like the social networks having  appeared since…) ( I don’t use any of them, needless to say ).

 

But this is neither the place nor the time to develop these subjects... I just want to testify that this site has never been so beautiful, fertile, fascinating and warm at the same time as during your "reign". In a way, Cori, you have become the face of an ideal Simtropolis. There were other disasters, of course, c'est la vie, we lost Barbara/Barbyw, David/Dedgren so badly injured that we'll never see him again, Raymond/Raymond7cn so promising and many others I won't name (Why a list, if not exhaustive? ) I lost my VIP Team teammates and friends who motivated me so much until they finally got tired of this… game? Let me laugh, for once…

 

So, of course, there are still a lot of people from whom I follow posts with attention and admiration, but we can all feel that with time... avec le temps tout s’en va .On a side note, Laurent, the webmaster of Toutsimcities has announced the upcoming closure of the site by lack of audience…

 

In short, without you, the world is no longer the same Cori, just a little more desesperate. That's my problem, for sure . For my part, if I should never see (read) you again, I would recover by repeating again and again this sentence; There is a time to mourn those we have loved, another will come to rejoice over having known them.

 

All my sympathy for you CB, that’s going to be hard. You were talking about shock waves through the community; it's a tsunami in fact, no more, no less.

 

Bye, Simtropolis. Thanks to Cori, I didn’t only learn from the site; I finally surprised myself to love it too.

 

Cédric.

[kschmidt 6,213]

Very sory Corina Marie out of personal circustances had to take the discision to for now stop her work on Simtopolis, the community and maybe on other matters in real life ! Enjoyed, her work and projects very much hope she still may have the time to post or coment anything if so. Hope Simtropolis will find a way to stay strong in these insecure times, have a 20th anniversary celebration of SimCity 4 soon !

Hope Corina Marie still have some time to enjoy her life in full !

Kind regards,

Kschmidt

[BartonThinks 3,416]

This is devastating news, and I truly, truly hope we hear from @CorinaMarie soon. 

It is hard to think of anyone else leading this community with more kindness, open-heartedness, and generosity than Cori, not to mention the thousands of hours she's put toward the site and the wealth of tools and expertise she's shared with the community. On a personal level, I owe Cori a massive debt in my own modding efforts. Her encouragement also helped me play a more active role in the ST community. She is irreplaceable as a community member, a leader, and a person, and I hope she realizes how deeply this community appreciates her and her contributions.

@Cyclone Boom, I can only try to imagine how awful this past week has been for you. I hope you'll take as much time and space as you need to take care of yourself under the circumstances, whatever that means for both yourself and the community. I'm so, so sorry to hear this.

[patfirefghtr 160]

@Cyclone Boom Im truly sorry to hear about this and its devastation to the community as whole... My deepest heartfelt condolence to all

Patrick A McMahon aka Patfirefghtr

[nos.17 5,249]

I really cannot add anything new that hasn't already been said by ten people above me. Every interaction I have had with Cori has been a pleasure, and it is plainly clear that her impact will never be forgotten as long as Simtropolis the SimCity 4 community lives on.

 

@Cyclone Boom @CorinaMarie - I've had these thoughts drafted up in my PMs for months, but never sent it out because the rest of the message was and is still developing. However, those parts are irrelevant for the time being, so here it is, with some additional thoughts since some reflection:

I just want to let the both of you know how much I appreciate the work that you two do. From the little I know it is massively difficult to run communities, let alone online ones (what with all of the associated things that being online in general brings, plus those which comes with pseudo anonymity). I am consistently impressed with the way this site is run, and with the grace and empathy manifested in actions I consistently observe.

If I have learned anything throughout my career, its that in any kind of group, the example is set from the leaders. I believe that the state Simtropolis is in today, and even to an extent the wider SC4 community, is a direct reflection of the passion and endless work you both put in. The fact that you both not only just deftly perform the duties assigned of any administrator, but actively go so far above and beyond to facilitate every interaction with interest, empathy, open-mindedness, and always with the best intention to offer whatever help you could. It may not have been conscious, but nevertheless the impact of that did not go unnoticed. That you have asked for nothing or little in return says literally all I need to know. Thank you.

 

Cori, your light does and will shine on.

  Edited July 23, 2022 by Cyclone Boom  
Thank you so very much for the kind words about Cori and me. :-)