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Being a one-man devteam is immensely exhausting, almost to the point of wanting to quit.
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Players on grids in city builders: square grid vs hex grid vs no grid
Me: cries in tetrakis square tiling
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It would be the first time in a long time that I can safely say that I feel like the future looks bleak.
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The funnest part about programming is realizing that there's a cleaner way to implement something and successfully adapting it for a slightly different use case.
I also haven't touched my last personal project in over three months, so there's a ton of code to sift through and clean up.
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My greatest issue is how I keep hiding my interests and talents from most acquaintances due to them being uninterested or unappreciative and how, when given the opportunity to work with others, those interests/talents keep failing to be expressed. It's a chronic issue and it's enough to drain my motivation and can even force me to abandon interests/talents, and (confession) it's the ultimate reason why I can't see myself returning to the NAM Team.
No one to talk to, and even if there were, I wouldn't even talk.
˙uʍop ǝpᴉsdn s,ƃuᴉɥʇ ǝɥʇ 'ʎǝɥ ɥO
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Starting off the year/decade with the realization that over the span of four years, three separate family members have been hospitalized five times and you're the only one who can help out because everyone else is either too weak, too busy, too disabled, or anywhere from 500 to 5000 miles away, on top of having to contend with having virtually zero friends to help you out and next to zero confidence with personal projects/contributions. So much so that a real life Plague Inc scenario is the last thing on your mind. So much so that you're willing to push yourself even harder for said family members after pushing themselves for you. So much so that you would be willing to drive 400 miles in one day just to balance family and academics.
How's your year so far?
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Nearly every weekend since November has been taken up by taking care of family, and yet I still manage to exist, even if it means trimming down on side interests.
I need to reward myself with a 4K monitor; it's been too long since I had a tech upgrade (and returning that 1440p monitor for a stuck pixel and hoping another 1440p monitor will come my way hasn't worked out either).
