The Moose Factory (virtual Bar & Grill)

[Shadow Assassin 336]

Hmm.

*orders a burger with a side of chips* Don't be cheap and buy McDonalds - get some decent stuff!

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

The zukes want you to know that this is post number 1111 of the Moose Factory, and they also want 100 pounds of Mcdonalds' french fries.

[A Nonny Moose 8,262]

Well, a good group tonight! Welcome all.

TT, please turn on the charcoal filters. The zukes are stinking the place up with that Limburger.

@The_Dalai_Llama: The autobar complies. July is beer month? Well, chimo, eh?

@TT: A mound of whipped cream appears in a mixing bowl with bacon bits throughout. Enjoy. New personality items? Sure if you want. I won't ask where on your body you struck with the wet noodle. Just give it to the zukes. When can we expect your first sob story? You should consult with vid.

@GingerBlokey: Welcome! The coq au vin appears plated with appropriate accompaniments. The wine and the beer are automatically dealcoholized. Sorry, GB, but at Moose Factory the drinking age is 19.

@Nexis: To explicitly answer your question, I doubt that Quebec is interested in the succession. They really don't want the rest of us. My Canada includes Quebec. Let's see, how about your do your own research on the Trans-Canada Highway , eh? The bridge is 12.9 kilometres on the Trans-Canada Highway. The autochef makes a funny noise and imports a Big Mac. It is plated with a serving of Moose Factory Fries and a Simvastatin tablet. Enjoy. The tab will look after the cholesterol. Take it when you go to bed tonight.

@General Gunfire: Order produced. Dealcoholized if necessary. Please be nice to the zukes. You might need one someday, and they have a long memory.

@Shadow_Assassin: The autochef plates a plain 6-oz burger on a kaiser roll with a plate of condiments and compliments. A large serving of Moose chips accompanies this. Enjoy! We cook only Alberta beef. The Yanks seem to have some mad cows, so we don't buy any beef or beef products from them.

@ Leech10: A large barrel of Moose chips appears. I think there is at least 100 pounds in there, I thought for 50Kg. Would they like salt and vinegar and/or gravy and/or catsup on those? The Limburger melts well with them.

[ephorex_77 0]

*walks in, dusts off bunny slippers and proceeds to a table*

I'll have a couple of croissants with butter and a cup of tea please bartender.

 

*sits down and watches the zukes stare at GG menacingly* 

[The Terminator 0]

*turns on the charcol filters, and puts in a fresh pouch of Mothball flavored air freshener.

puts some bacon and fries in the deep fryer for breakfast.

[Shadow Assassin 336]

Well, congratulations to the Moose Factory reaching 1111 posts.

And I'd prefer Australian beef, thank you - nothing against Canadian beef, it's just what I've grown up with, and it's guaranteed to be BSE free.

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

The zukes want lots of salt for the french fries, and also the other zukes want a ton of American beef of any type, along with some deep fried Big Macs. (just dip the entire Big Mac into the deep fryer for a little bit).

*one of the zukes breaths out a smoke cloud, and it surrounds GG.*

[General Gunfire 0]

*Draws a gun and tells the Zukes to back off, man!*

*Asks for a coke and another B-52. Double shot of Baileys, if you please.*

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

*one of the dark zukes pulls out his lightsaber, but doesn't activte it yet.*

[Carpman 0]

*Ahem*

Come one, come all, to the theatre!

Finally, I was on stage on the Bristol Old Vic! In the BBC's Shakesphere festival, I finally played my part of Shylock in The Merchant Of Venice. A grand day.

And got rather too drunk at the afterparty.
Your finest hangover cure!

[ephorex_77 0]

*Welcomes carpman back after a (month long??) hiatus.

I think I'll have something celebratory, it's my birthday today.

[A Nonny Moose 8,262]

The Moose trips the battle-stations alarm. The general restraining field cuts in.

@ ephorex_77: Here's your breakfast. Would you like some of these preserves with your croissants? Happy birthday. How about a rainbow cocktail for openers?

@TT: Be sure to take your deep frier home with you. Does she cluck?

@Shadow_Assassin: We'll teleport that for you specially. Ontario hasn't got any BSE, so you are safe here in Moose Factory.

@ Leech10: I'm sorry, American beef has been embargoed by Health Canada. We can teleport some in, but I don't think it is a good idea. You can share in the tonnage we are getting for SA. If you put your Macs on the table, the autosystem will crisp them a little for you without the fat. A large bin of granulated salt appears near the zukes.

@General Gunfire: The drinks arrive along with a helping of liquorice allsorts. The pistol is converted by the autosystem into an elephant ear fungus. Seems you've been interceped.

@Carpman: Welcome back! The autosystem moves the oxygen tank over. The autochef delivers a Winnipeg oyster and a wedge of lemon. Oh, your daughter! Oh, your ducats!

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

The zukes want American beef, and they get what they want. *Some American beef appears at the table, takes to the dark zuke's teleporting powers.* They are immune to mad cow disease, as well as just about any other disease you send at them. Also, the zukes want all the fat, they like the extra fuel in it.

[Zelgadis 638]

A round of drinks on me for all the British Simtropolis members. A vodka martini for me.

I just finished paper grading for today and it's not easy doing that and watching that kind of news at the same time.

ISF

[vidioman 21]

What kind of lousy neighbourhood is this? We leave for a few weeks and nothing changed! -Lucy

And for the record, it was 2 weeks. I'll have my e-burger now. And some e-pop.

[The Terminator 0]

puts on some Jethro Tull.

 

makes himself some fried potatoes and fries nilla wafers

[A Nonny Moose 8,262]

@ Leech10: The darlings are free to teleport in anything they want by way of food, however don't expect us to serve that garbage to anyone else. Eat up, you zukes, right down to the last shred.

@ zelgadis: Well, I hope they weren't current events papers. The autochef makes the martini with London gin The disgusting activities by the murdering criminals in London is a crime against humanity. I recommend treating them as wolves are, or better still, hanging, drawing and quartering. I'll rent the horses.

@vidioman: Welcome back vid. The autosystem delivers. I have appointed TT as official sob sister and asked him to confer with you. Please give him the benefit of your experience.

@TT: I really wish you would use the autosystem for service. Please take your cooking equipment home. Vid is here now, so I expect some sob sister article by the end of the weekend.

[brtim2 11]

Geez, seems like people are getting a little testy in here about the service and the food. Very pushy-pushy if you know what I mean. I would just like some honey roasted peanuts, at the Autochef's earliest convienence. Which, I would assume, is whenever I decide to think I want them.

Like now.

*poof*

And I would love to tell you alllllll about my weekend travels and the fact I finally know what a poisen ivy plant looks like. And the fact poisen ivy scrub works well, but only on the parts of your body you scrub. But that would be too tiring for me to type and you to read, so instead i leave you with this Tim-Blog for you to click and peruse - at your earliest convienence. It is my blog, but the latest post is a visual aid. (If Imageshack decides to cooperate).

And yes, it did take me this long from my weekend to get that finished. I had to recover.

ah crap, I meant to type this originally also, but I forgot. But I remembered now and hit the 'edit' button.

Be careful what the Zukes are eating. It isn't Mad Cow Disease you have to worry about (as I remember a small Canadian herd was infected not too long ago), it's the growth hormones. America is the only industrialized (is it still industrialized or can I say modernized?) country to allow farmers to inject their Beef Cows with growth hormones. Sure, there is more meat, but is it really meat if it isn't grown naturally? That's like adding a bit of lemon extract to a glass of tap water and calling it pure lemonade. Sure it may look like it, it may taste like it and it may make your lips pucker, but it ain't lemonade.

There is a reason every European country and Canada has outlawed the sale of hormone injected beef in their country. So do you really want the Zukes eating that? Maybe they get their powers from lab chemicals, but please, keep it from the Autochef, I like the natural beef he prepares.

And now we know why the cattle is bigger in Texas.

(I'm pretty sure I edited this post 4 times so far. Don't be surprised if it changes again.)

[vidioman 21]

We're watching Fox News Channel. Proof? They're currently airing your world with neil cavuto and were talking about hurricane dennis moments ago. I'm sure some whacked-out republican can back that up

Speaking of Fox news, I think I'll have a balony sandwich!

 

Edit: I forgot to say, from what I've seen on Fox news in the past few minutes, it's pretty unbiased.. But, how biased can you get when you're talking about a hurricane?

 

Neil Cavuto: Like all hurricanes, Dennis will support the Democratic Party, as it destroys Florida in an attempt to lower the number of Republican supporters. Coming up next, Bill O'Reilly talks with Mount St. Helens about her Anti-Americanism, on Fox News: We Decide!

[DuskTrooper 316]

Hehe, quite funny. Allison was probably also a Democratic tropical storm, since it flooded downtown Houston(where all of the oil HQ buildings are). However, it may have been a moderate, since it destroyed some medical research, as well.


This post has been a parody. A fie on those who take it too seriously.

[The Terminator 0]

 

i wish i could use my own cooking equipment, all i wanted to do was make you guys hapy and stop using gimmies and make my own food, but now you tell me to take it home *crys*

 

I HATE THIS

I WANT TO MOVE TO NEEW JERSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WISH I HAD A BRAIN

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!

 

[

 

is that a good sob sister article?

[vidioman 21]

Date: 7/8/2005 6:00:33 PM Author: The Terminator

i wish i could use my own cooking equipment, all i wanted to do was make you guys hapy and stop using gimmies and make my own food, but now you tell me to take it home *crys*

I HATE THIS I WANT TO MOVE TO NEEW JERSEY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WISH I HAD A BRAIN WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!

[

is that a good sob sister article?

quote>

It needs more oomphs. and a bit of feeling. It would probably be better if you had a brain.

[A Nonny Moose 8,262]

@brtim2: So now you know. Leaves three/Let it be. I think under the circumstances you may have to scrub parts you haven't alluded to. Would you like to have something to drink with your peanuts?

@ vidioman: I am surprised that Fox isn't extolling the Brits for courage under fire. They've been blessed by ol' Bushie. But of course, Fox is not another way to spell Facts, is it? Baloney sandwich right up. I take it you'ld like a grain of salt, too.

@ DuskTrooper: Parody? Is that anything like 2/3 of a pun [PU]. The only Hurricanes I tolerate were built by Hawker Sidley.

@ The Terminator: Well, TT, your editorial accuity is lacking, and I suggest your shout style is poor. Why you would consider it tragic to move to New Jersy beats me. I asked for pathos and you have given me bathos. Maybe we should send you down in a bathysphere to see if you can find a good crying shark. Does TT stand for Toto? Vid: Very incisive criticism. Now, if you only had a heart, Tin ... erm ... Videoman.

A Real Sob Story
Yesterday, I had my Irish Red and White Setter castrated, and a nice terrier $%&^! moved in behind us.

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

A zuke can live off anything, because it spits molecules up into atoms, and changes atoms if necessary to get the stuff it needs. You could feed it pure uranium and it would live just fine, but it might have radioactive waste products.

[vidioman 21]

I saw a really old skinny guy listening to 50 cent on an iPod..........................

 

Yeah, it confused me too.

[brtim2 11]

Yeah, that leaves three though, it's not fair that a lot of plants have groups of three leaves. And, what's worse is you could have a 5 leafed (leaved?) plant that has two leaves ripped off and could look like poisen ivy. Nature is a crazy, cruel woman. But aren't they all?

Actually that isn't fair. I apologize. Only some women are crazy. Only some are cruel. But not many are both.

I did however get a cortisone type cream that is basically a topical steriod. shhhhhhh, don't tell the NCAA. It's supposed to keep the bumps down. *crosses fingers*

And I'll buy a round for the setter, I never want to know that feeling. Ever.

And DT, do you stalk Videoman around and post after him on purpose. It always seems you post randomly in certain threads right after V-man. Just some of the things you pick up as a lurker throughout the forums.

And I'll take a bottle of IBC Rootbeer, please.

*poof* *poof*

and a bottle opener? Thanks!

[The Terminator 0]

Beehive hairdo, 45 on the hip
Patrolwoman Saunders, don't you give her no whip
Took me to the station for a breathtest
then back to the bedroom for some house-arrest

Women in uniform, sometimes they look so cold
Women in uniform, but, Oh! They feel so warm

Coming back to London on a 747
Stewardess made me feel like I'm in heaven
Looking up the aisle to see what I could see
She leaned over said; Give it to me
White apron, brown leather shoes
The nurse at the clinic left my heart all bruised
Gave me a massage, sprained my right
Now she takes my temperature every night

Women in uniform, sometimes they look so cold
Women in uniform, but, Oh! They feel so warm

Women in uniform, Women in uniform
Women in uniform, Women in uniform
Commando raid on the Lebanese border
Sergeant Anita, she gives the order
Khaki jacket and a love gun
Baby, I surrender, let's have some fun


Women in uniform, Women in uniform
Women in uniform, Women in uniform
Women in uniform, Khaki, white and blue
Women in uniform, coming after you
Women, women, Women in uniform
Women, women, Women in uniform

Women in uniform, sometimes they look so cold
Women in uniform, but, Oh! They feel so warm

 

^an Iron Maiden song from 1980,  in the video for it they have a whole bunch of hot girls dressed up as nurses, police officers, airline stewerdesses ect.

 

it was a pretty good video by 1980 standards, but the quality is cappy compared to the CGI rap videos out today, but its still 100% better that rap. i have a DVD with this video on it, called IRON MAIDEN: THE EARLY DAYS.

 

serves himself some French fries with 76 pounds of bacon

 

gives the zukes zuke treats.

 

[General Gunfire 0]

That's actually pretty cool TT... I like that.

*Gunfire gives the zukes and the aprehensive people surrounding him the Look of death and they back off.

*Gunfire orders a special dish to be teleported from the Bayou Bar & Grill in Midtown Memphis, Tennessee. It's called Blackened shrimp and Chicken Fettucine. He'll also have a Coca-cola and a glass of simple Beringer White Zinfandel Wine.

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

*the dark zuke pulls out his lightsaber again*

[A Nonny Moose 8,262]

Fella walks in the place wearing all white leathers, says Can I bring in my Companion? The Moose says, Sure, Herald, all are welcome here. The Herald goes out and comes back with a large white horse with large blue eyes. The autobar serves a bale of hay with some oats on the side, and a glass of champagne.

Leech10: Well, the zukes are welcome to transmute provided they dispose of their own nuclear waste. What are you drinking? I suggest you prevent a conflict between GG and the zukes. Perhaps this Herald can arbitrate?

@ brtim2: Three shiny leaves, it you like. Red berries too! Also, you can't burn this stuff as the smoke contains the oils. Topical cortisone (Ectasone?) only matters if you are shooting Olympic craps. It is good stuff for skin problems, if a little extreme. Andrew (the setter) thanks you. He has drowned his sorrows, and is lying at my feet as I type, sleeping it off. Current picture below.

@TT: Well, its not a sob story. I guess you can also be music critic, but you must be objective. What are you doing with all that bacon?

@General Gunfire: You like Cajun food? Doubly welcome. We do a nice Jambalya, fresh oysters, and we have on occasion done crawfish pie. Enjoy.

Caniscaeli Fantasie Impromptu (Andrew)

Edit: We interrupt this thread for a special announcement.

Appointment

Our new food columnist and culinary advisor

GingerBlokey