Survive the Above's Attack

[wallabra 2]

You need to say a way you escape from what the user above made to you and then try to kill the one under you via roleplaying. I start!

The next user will be inside a chamber of uranium imminent to explode.

[Dazzyls 576]

I'll survive, because I'm Batman!

You will have to fight Batman.

[Prophet42 1,503]

No problem,  I'm Superman and simply vaporize you with heat ray eyes.

 

Now you have to fight Superman in a lead suit (unaffected by Kryptonite).

[ROFLyoshi 1,760]

I hold a paper shredder, goodbye Superman and the comic book!

Defeat the paper shredder.

[SharkSark 397]

I do a fly-by in a Su-30MKI acquire and lock the Paper shredder with a KH-59 AG missile 

 

BOOM 

 

Defeat the flanker now B)

[RipRap 4,400]

Lasers.

Defeat a big elephant without killing it.

[Schulmanator 5,813]

The cat brings in a mouse. The mouse scares the elephant. He runs away in terror. I triumph. The cat doesn't care.

 

So, how are you going to harsh my buzz?

[philforhockey51 4,220]

Delete all instances of Schulmania, that should mess with your buzz     (if I understood the question right)

 

Since I wasn't put in imminent danger...Ill just keep strolling along

 

And chain the user below over a tank full of sharks with lasers

[MandelSoft 2,775]

I'm Aquaman and I command the sharks to cut my chains with their lasers attached to their heads. Problem solved!

 

The next user has been dumped through the airlock of a spacecraft while being in open space.

[Titanicbuff 1,262]

I'm made of iron- I'm a ship- so I don't implode.

Next user gets caught in an avalanche with no gear or a coat-

[RipRap 4,400]

The helicopter is just above me and I get off to safety.

You are being mauled by 2 bears without any weapons or clothing.

[Prophet42 1,503]

I make the bears fight each other and simply slip into the woods.

 

You are dropped in Antartica in the winter time with just your swimsuit and no way to keep warm.

[jmsepe 2,039]

And then I woke up from my dream. 

 

The next person found himself in the middle of the Battle of Sekigahara. 

[Dazzyls 576]

I have luck.

 

How would you survive my avatar?

[Thin White Duke 4,072]

I live in Sweden.

 

Your wife asks you if those pants make her look fat.

[Prophet42 1,503]

LOL

There is no surviving that....without lying.

 

You get transported back in time and you find yourself locked in the cargo hold of the Titanic.

[RipRap 4,400]

You discovered a time machine pad and went back home

You are dropped in a pool full of hot oil to be fried.

[philforhockey51 4,220]

I am a bastard of a Targeryn and am not burned as I climb back out. (Game of Thrones/Fire & Ice ref.)

 

You have been tied to the train tracks...of the 603kph/374mph  Japanese Maglev Bullet Train

[Prophet42 1,503]

The train breaks down before reaching me and I have enough time to get loose and walk away.

 

You find yourself in front of the firing squad tied to a post and they have just pulled the trigger.

[NMUSpidey 3,956]

I flex my massive muscles as the bullets fly and repel all the gunfire magically into the air.  They are all in awe of my feat and immediately drop to their knees and begin worshiping me as a god and I rule their village for the rest of my life in the lap of luxury.

 

Eight ninjas jump out at you, wielding all sorts of nightmarish weaponry!

[Odainsaker 2,137]

I pull out my Kanjani Sentai Eightranger Limited Edition Uchiwa Concert Fan autographed by Yellow Ranger Ryo with kiss marks.
 


"Kawaii...Sugoi...Kakkoii!!!" the awestruck ninja exclaim, and they bow before me in fandom admiration.

Overwhelmed with ravenous, jealous, bloodlusting fury, the other Japanese teenybop fangirls attack, eager to tear apart rival boyband fans limb from limb. What do you do? What do you do?

[Dazzyls 576]

I just say: "Look, it's that one singing anime girl!" All the Japanese run after the virtual popstar and I can continue my evil plans going home.

 

You'll have to survive Apple taking over the internet 

[philforhockey51 4,220]

 

 

Before I evaporated in anger I put a rattlesnake in your boots 

[NMUSpidey 3,956]

I pull it out and give it to my 5-month-old baby to use as a toy.  He drools on it adorably and the snake falls in love with him and they become BFFs.

 

I've built a laser on the moon and it's pointed at you.  I'll fire it in 30 seconds unless you pay me the sum of... ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

[JP Schriefer 5,591]

I'm always carrying a mirror with me, I'll reflect the laser into your eyes

 

I built a cube - without holes - in which the 6 walls are approaching more and more and will squeeze you in a few seconds. Good luck.

[Dazzyls 576]

There always are some useful tubes when the walls are coming closer to you.

 

Survive being on Alderaan when it was being blown up.

[Odainsaker 2,137]

Pulls out the Iconian Gateway for instant teleportation away to another planet, just like in that episode of "Star Trek:  The Next Generation."

"But wait, this is Star Wars, not Star Trek," you say.  Fine, you can stand around here and belabor the point...I am jumping through the gateway before the Death Star's blast hits!

 

Realizing survival instincts trump sci-fi canon, you also jump through the Iconian Gateway for an instant portal jump to another planet.  However, you instantly arrive on the home planet of the face-hugging, acid-spitting, Alien xenomorphs.  You are alone in their deepest, darkest nest, surrounded by hundreds of alien eggs, and, in the haste to flee the firing Death Star, you realize with horror that you left your blasters, katana, pocket nukes, and spare teleporting gateways back on Alderaan.  It's a Trap!!!  The masses of xenomorph eggs first pulse and quiver from the disturbance of your arrival, and then open to reveal the awakened baby face-huggers readying to leap upon their helpless prey and impregnate you with chest-bursting Aliens.

 

Eeep!  What do you do?  What do you do?

[Thin White Duke 4,072]

Feel relieved that this is just an imagination. I'm sorry. I'm tired, and I really can't think of anything better to say. Maybe die and hope I get to somewhere nice?

 

Reptilian death rays hover above every city in the world and you, alone in space, is the only one who can destroy them, by suicide attack. What do you do?

[RipRap 4,400]

Let them destroy everything while you hide in a cave. :lol:

You are stuck forever inside an AKB48 theatre (ewwww), and you must survive the onslaught of singing and dancing from the 140+ members of the group.

[Dazzyls 576]

Propably no surviving that, but I will, because I'm batman! 

 

Listening to the song 'I really really really really really really really really really really really really like you'