The Simtropolis Closet

[mentarman 14]

Date: 7/11/2005 5:03:04 AM
Author: The boy formerly known as Evil Muzz
...even though I don't know any...

quote>

I bet you do....

[Mickebear 2]

Wow, isn't this subject well and alive... I don't want to play the 'ah-so-old-and-wise-guy-seen-it-all-been-there' - simply because obviously the responses that people give here just show how world HAS changed from times when I was in my early twenties.

Back then, it certainly was news to everybody, and as SkiGeek wisely puts it - it may not have been a big deal to my friends - but it was a big thing for me.

 

I was a bit hot head those days - telling everyone meant practically throwing it in their face - like it or not. After all, I felt that I had nothing to loose. Now, several years later, maybe I could have been more subtle, but the main point remains: I didn't lie to anybody, because I couldn't live with lies.

 

Of course anybody should follow their own inner voice - if the voice says that you don't want to come out - then don't, and respect for that decision.

 

The road I chose did cause some troubles, like being sacked from a job once in Scotland, like being denied entry several times to bars, cafes, discos; like being beating up on the way home (queers don't matter, was the slogan in the early 90s in Helsinki). But those experiences, despite they all hurt at the moment, when they happened, made me tougher, and made me realize that maybe IF I could share my experience and work towards a common goal (accepting all people, regardless of color, religion, sex, gender, sexual or social orientation), MAYBE world could become a better place for us all.

 

Thousands of other gays, lesbians, bisexual, transgendered (what is that? Well, in layman's terms it is cross dressing, but already as a concept, I find it insulting) who have come out, have helped in their own surroundings the level of acceptance to grow - by giving themselves a good example, by showing that we are just like anybody else (sorry, we are really like anybody else, with the exception of realizing the little differences in us, having to go through the 'coming-out' process) - who breathe, eat, sleep, go to the toilet, work, love, nurture, read, travel, play games... And yet again, we can be so very different from the rest, as Duke87 points out: being always in a minority does leave traits on social behaviour, and I do prefer a gay cafe to a straight one. I am more at ease with my own people.

 

And I feel today, when I am writing this, that this work has paid. You guys are responding in a very civil way - I liked the way DT had commented or how Mentarman has more insight in the gay culture (well, a bear for us means a hairy bearded man)...

 

By the way, those of you, who say that they are happily straight... I am so happily gay, that if I were given a chance to be straight one day - I wouldn't want to.

 

So finally the obligatory HAPPY PICTURE...

 

(no, I don't want to turn this into a new picture thread, but I find it just so fitting...)

 

[MallowTheCloud 41]

Date: 7/11/2005 4:47:51 AM
Author: Duke87
...socially, gay people are very different from straight people, and thus add some spice to the cultural mix...

quote>


Time for me to get up on my soap box:


This line of thought is exactly the reason I don't want to come out. I know you didn't mean anything bad by it, Duke, and I don't take it as an insult or anything. It's nothing that you did.

But, I'm afraid if I come out (including here on ST)... people will think of me as 'gay' instead of 'MallowTheCloud'. I don't fit any of the social gay stereotypes. I don't act gay, I don't look gay. I am not just 'gay'... I am so many other things. My sexuality is not a big part of my life.

I don't want people to respect me less (if they respect me at all in the first place ), I don't want people to be disappointed by the fact I'm gay... I still want to be the same person I have always been. And I know some of my friends and family, while not expressing it openly, would be disappointed, or would have less respect for me. But the truth is, telling people should not make people think differently about me. I am still the same person I've always been.

Pertaining to ST... that would mean:

1) I am still an avid map-maker, who enjoys helping people with their requests
2) I still will always post in a thread regarding the weather, and will occasionally make my own
3) I still am amazed by jeronij's detail in SCR
etc. etc.


So, I plead to anyone reading this... think about the way you think. If someone on ST came out, and you hadn't known about their homosexuality before, did it make you think about them as a different person? Please, do not think that way about me, I am still the same MallowTheCloud.



Okay, I'm stepping off the soap box now. I hope I didn't bore anybody too much.

[Mickebear 2]

Date: 7/11/2005 1:40:22 PM
Author: MallowTheCloud

Date: 7/11/2005 4:47:51 AM

Author: Duke87

...socially, gay people are very different from straight people, and thus add some spice to the cultural mix...

quote>

But, I'm afraid if I come out (including here on ST)... people will think of me as 'gay' instead of 'MallowTheCloud'. I don't fit any of the social gay stereotypes. I don't act gay, I don't look gay. I am not just 'gay'... I am so many other things. My sexuality is not a big part of my life.

Pertaining to ST... that would mean:

1) I am still an avid map-maker, who enjoys helping people with their requests

2) I still will always post in a thread regarding the weather, and will occasionally make my own

3) I still am amazed by jeronij's detail in SCR

etc. etc.

Okay, I'm stepping off the soap box now. I hope I didn't bore anybody too much.

quote>

If you also read my comments, you will understand that there are all kinds of gays, and also all kinds of thoughts of what being gay is - or how different perceptions we all have about it.

Also I don't want to be first labeled gay, or bear, or Finn, or a City Journalist in SC4... anything... I am me, and all those things are part of me, and certainly not in a particular order. Here, I don't care about my sexuality, it really wouldn't make any sense. All I care is how ST and SC4 functions, in its own particular ways - and doing CJs is so far the function that I have felt most at ease with. My being gay has nothing to do with it, or at least it shouldn't have to.

[Piel Morena69 5]

Hi all!! I just want to say congrats to everyone on coming out!!!! Enjoy YOUR sexuality it's yours anyways right??? The only advice I have is just to be safe, have fun, and don't be ASHAMED of who you really are, gay or not.

[DuskTrooper 314]

Soo, are there any Metrosexuals around here?

Also, I'd like to see if the term PoMosexual exists yet. Its like Metrosexual, except- conservative, postmodern(hence the PoMo) while being urban and cultured at the same time.

[Mickebear 2]

Date: 7/11/2005 3:13:27 PM
Author: DuskTrooper
Soo, are there any Metrosexuals around here?


Also, I'd like to see if the term 'PoMosexual' exists yet. Its like Metrosexual, except- conservative, postmodern(hence the PoMo) while being urban and cultured at the same time.

quote>

I am not fashionable at all, could you explain me what Metrosexual means? Or Postmodern sexuality??? I suppose they are some fancy sociological terms that I am not (yet) blessed to know

[Zza Xsaru 0]

Date: 7/11/2005 7:43:28 AM Author: Ded

Date: 7/11/2005 1:35:24 AM Author: Dereko and please do not be mean to ded, he is a lovely guy.

Awww, thanks a bunch Derek - That was so sweet of you.

 

Oh good Ded, now you don't have to ask me anymore when I say an incestuous website.

And the wry, sarcastic, roguish humor of, ultimately, witling Dereko, you'd know annoying wouldn't you?

[The_Dalai_Llama 15]

We sure have an active gay community.  And I thought Masher was the only one.

By the way, I am straight and proud of it, too. And I don't think we're going to judge anybody's sexuality here.  We're a pretty open community.

[mentarman 14]

I don't know about postmodern, I think he's creating that one him self, but a metrosexual is a urban straight man who does stereotypically gay/effeminate things like moisturize, accessorize, spend more than $10 on a haircut, wear stylish, trendy clothes, go to clubs instead of bars or pubs, etc.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metrosexual

[SpartanBadger 4]

I really only have one thing to say, and that is that I'm surprised to find out that some of you are gay (it's not a bad thing, just surprise). Other than that I don't really have any words of advice? But I was wondering if you guys have lost friends because you came out?

 

Oh, and can any of you make really good pierogies?

[ardecila 125]

I am also quite surprised by the number of gay people here. However, it shouldn't change my perception of ST as a whole - you guys still have the same posting style, talents, and opinions that you did before.

My sense of Christian morality is trying to get my attention now - mainly because of the uniformity of Christian views on the subject, and how no churches that I know of will embrace homosexuals.

Personally, I believe the anti-homosexual parts of the Bible were written in a different time, for a different people, where life was so precious that no matter who you felt attracted to, it was your duty to your people and the world to come together with a woman and make children.

Today, the world populations are nowhere near as small as they were in Biblical times - so I believe men and women should be free to practice whatever orientation they want. Love for human life, in all its forms, is by far a greater purpose of Christianity than the strictness of the Book of Leviticus and the rest of the Old Testament.

BTW - I am heterosexual, too (or at least, I sincerely believe myself to be... ). Of course, I'm ridiculously stupid/clumsy around girls - which is why nearly all of my friends all have or have had girlfriends, and I haven't. Though that might change in the next two weeks... *crosses fingers*

[EAGCE 2]

I'm straight.

I used to work with a gay guy. He always denied it. But we knew. It was funny. He talked and acted just like the stereotype. He talked about his girlfriend a lot, but we never saw her. Then one day long after he left the store, someone I worked with saw him in the mall holding hands with a guy. I saw him one other time after that briefly, but the subject never came up.

I see lots (well not really lots, mostly the same few) of gay guys and lesbians in the store. Thats about as much experience I have around homosexuals.

[Ratieya455 1]

Actually, ardecilia, the United Church of Christ welcomes homosexuals to their church. I remember hearing about and then seeing some television ads that the church aired that showed how they accept anyone, and the ads were controversial because it showed people of the same sex holding hands and hugging each other.

I have no doubts whatsoever that people are born gay. There is both genetic and neurological evidence of it. A friend sent me an email about a study done on a species of fly that proved that homosexuality is genetic, and I would post the link but I deleted the email .

I had read another article that tried to link homosexuality to music. Some psychiatrist made a list of songs that supposedly turn people gay, and advised the reader never to listen to them. This was not a joke of a spoof, but from a news site that considered themselves credible.

[rustalot42684 0]

Date: 7/11/2005 6:59:34 PM Author: Ratieya455 I had read another article that tried to link homosexuality to music. Some psychiatrist made a list of songs that supposedly turn people gay, and advised the reader never to listen to them. This was not a joke of a spoof, but from a news site that considered themselves credible.

quote>

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA That's ridiculous!

I don't see why some people cannot accept reality. Wether some neo-con likes it or not, homosexuality is there. I personally see nothing wrong with it, and I think that even if you don't like it it's not your life. so yay! let's all be friends!

[jmusshorn 7]

Date: 7/11/2005 6:59:34 PM
Author: Ratieya455
I have no doubts whatsoever that people are born gay. There is both genetic and neurological evidence of it. A friend sent me an email about a study done on a species of fly that proved that homosexuality is genetic, and I would post the link but I deleted the email .

quote>

Actually, I remember the study of which you're talking about quite vividly.

A study was conducted within a university (I can't remember which one) regarding Fruit Flies and their sexuality. The professors and students managed to isolate a gene within the flies that, when manipulated correctly, actually changed the sexual orientation of the flies.

They first put a male fly with a female. The male did the conventional mating dance to the female fly, thus proving its heterosexuality. They then manipulated the previously isolated and defined gene, and paired the original male fly with another male fly that had been altered as well. One male did its mating dance to the other, and the latter male acted in a submissive manner; an act previously identified only with females.

It proves something, that's for sure. Although I don't think that this will prove to neo-conservative people that are against homosexuality the fact that sexual orientation is indeed formulated in your genes.

Oh well, acceptance comes with time and evolution, I suppose.

~J

[masher 3]

I find quite funny when I tell some of my old friends that I'm gay...But you seemed so normal!
I'm like OK...I also get really mad when other gays are like You are not gay enough
I'm like...OK...Where do I go to get my PhD then?....Is Cher going to be my mentor?..
My bf has to deal with even more stereotypes...He is in a soccer team and we are both hispanic..
And according to a gay map Dereko posted a while ago, he is illegal in his own country

So it's like OMG they are evil!!*Old lady calls the pope*!!...

Date: 7/11/2005 4:35:13 PM Author: The_Dalai_Llama We sure have an active gay community.  And I thought Masher was the only one.

quote>
You make me blush!

[Zelgadis 638]

I am also aware of this study, but perhaps not for the reasons you might be thinking about.

I first saw it in an ESL reading textbook called Creating Controversey. As a matter of fact, the actual experiements turned out to be quite naughty by fruit fly standards (presuming that there ARE fruit fly standards).

There seems to be a medical explanation for transgender folks too. Some scientists believe that this state occurs when the mother's body bombards the fetus with the wrong hormone during gestation. That explanation is even good enough for the Ayatollah of Iran, who happens to have no problem with transgender people for this reason.

ISF

[hogmeister 7]

I think this is a very interesting thread, one that has shown the maturity and courage of the participants and one that reflects very well on the diverse and tolerant community that we call Simtropolis. My wife and I have several gay friends, thought to us they are simply friends. It is true that they are witty, intelligent, fickle and fun to be with however the same applies to all of our friends so sexual orientation doesn

[MC6Ash 4]

~deleted~ A.C.

[the_new_simman 5]

Wow, so many gays. Don't worry guys, I won't think any different of you, its your choice whether you want to be Bi, Gay, or stright. Me, myself, I am straight, yup straight. And I plan on staying that way.

[jmusshorn 7]

Homosexuality and bisexuality aren't actually choices, they're believed to be predetermined genetically. Rather, it's our choice to be open about the fact that we are indeed gay and bi.

Thanks for your support, though! Very nice of you.

~J

[Yellowlab 11]

Hmm...well, last time I checked I wasn't gay, but I do have a deep, dark secret that is kept in the closet.  That would be that I have recently (as in the past 2-3 years) discovered that I am an atheist.  I come from a politically liberal yet very conservative family and as of yet have told no one, except for here.  I remain active in my church (youth group leader, music leader, choir, mission work, etc.) but in reality my dark secret is that after philosophizing and thinking about it a lot for the last few years I have realized that I simply do not believe that there is a deity out there.  I don't think I will tell my parents; it would absolutely kill my mother, who is a devout Presbyterian, or my father, who is actually the minister of the church.  Once I get to college, I will gradually phase out church as part of my life and leave it at that; let sleeping dogs lie...

 

Not to get off subject, but this is The Simtropolis Closet, and that is my closet issue that nobody but the people on this site know about.

[hogmeister 7]

Yellowlab, that is an awful weight to carry around with you, especially with such a family background. I think it

[DuskTrooper 314]

Date: 7/11/2005 11:05:13 PM
Author: MC6Ash

if my definition is correct... (the word was only added to the dictionary this year I believe)... I am a metrosexual... But quite obviously straight, I go to a hairdresser, I have worn pink, don't care about that. And also I have had gays 'hit on' me, and then when I say I'm both married and straight, I get the 'my god you are? I swear you weren't'.

I'd just like to also point out that most of my friends are girls...

P.S.... none of this leaves this thread.

quote>


You do remember that your wife, Dani comes here, right?

[masher 3]

Date: 7/10/2005 2:36:17 PM Author: villarule this thread is great, i have no problem with people of different sexual oriantation than myself (im straight). I find gay people to be generally funnier and more of a laugh than straight people, i had no idea how many homosexuals frequent this site, its a bit of an eye-opener. 1 in 10 is quite a lot

quote>

Do you have to keep torturing me!!.....jk...sorta..omg i feel so tonya right now..

[MissTonya 2]

im here baby boys! wow you guys started your own little place. no i cant say little looks like this is getting big! jmusshorn so sorry to hear about you, thats what you want thats want you get. am I right or what? if you dont like girls then be it. how can you say girls don't go for you? you are so cute!! anyways this is a topic i am going to watch since mostly all the gay people are such handsome fellows

Yo it's Tonya

[GingerBlokey 30]

I agree with Mallow. I am GingerBlokey / Adam Smith. I am not that fat, gay, ginger kid over there. Being gay is a big part of my worries but a little part of my actuall life. As only about 22 people know about my sexuallity it is a very rare occassion when it actually comes up any where outside my circle of friends or my bedroom.

Actually I think you are born gay I have memories of being about 7 and fancying somone called Tony Goodger.

[jmusshorn 7]

Date: 7/12/2005 12:50:52 AM Author: masher

omg i feel so tonya right now..

 

You look sorta Tonya right now. J/K!

 

I bought a gay pride pin today and put it on my sleeve. LOL

 

There was a really neo-con family in Spencer's Gifts; they were sneering at me as I was at the register.

 

 

I have a question for them: If they're so conservative that they hate a person who purchases a small gay pride pin, what the ~cencored~ were they doing in a shady joint like Spencer's in the first place?

 

~J

[Joesocwork 4]

I love one woman.

 

I adore two children.

 

I appreciate my biological family, along with my families at church, work, SimTropolis, and  various groups of mutual interest I participate in.

 

I worship one God.

 

And I'm too busy in the hectic chaos of living an ordinary day to day life to notice or care one way or another about anyone else's sexual orientation or proclivities.

 

Whatever that makes me.