The Simtropolis Closet

[vidioman 21]

[thesonofgray 0]

thatmonkeysim:

So what do you people look for in a person you would like to date?quote>

I've been with my partner for over 4 years, so I really haven't been looking.  But If I was looking, the first thing I would notice is looks, obviously.  So if I think someone is good looking, I'll probably make a little more effort to get to know that person.  I have a thing for latinos (I guess), since my partner is a latino.

This is definately not true for friends, of course.

But once I get to know someone I think sense of humor and the ability to listen is very important.  I'm a talker (as you might know from my posts) and my partner really isn't much of one, so I guess it works out.  lol

EDIT: The "good looking" statement above might make me seem shallow (and maybe I am) but I think for a healthy relationship there must be good emotional and physical interaction between two people.  So, yes, I pursued my partner because I thought he was good looking, but then I developed a very deep emotional bond once I got to know him better.  If no emotional connection developed, the relationship wouldn't have lasted.  It could have definately developed the opposite way: having an attraction to the persons character and then finding physical attraction.  But in my case, it didn't.

RC:

Among Psychologists there is a great deal of disagreement about what homosexuality is, much less as to whether it would be considered a disorder or not.quote>

I'm sure there is.  But I think a psychologist should be concerned with the health of their patients.  And if someone is depressed or having issues coming to grips with their sexuality, I don't think calling them handicapped and telling them they need to supress their bahavior will help the situation.

What I'm getting at is if someone is clinically depressed, they are obviously unhappy because they have a disorder.  So the obvious solution to a psychologist is to remedy the problem with drugs or other methods to make that person feel better.  Depression about homosexuality is usually (I think) caused by the unwillingness or difficulty accepting or believing their behaviour either because they have been told over and over it's wrong or from just plain discrimination.  So the obvious remedy would, I think, be encouraging and helping that person accept who they are and feel comfortable about it - no matter what their immediate community says.

Obviously, certain religions will take issue with this and prefer attempting conversion, but I truely believe that supressing a certain type of love, which is an emotion/behavior so basic to living, it would just make the person worse off.

I should clarify that when I say "love" in the previous statement, I am referring to the emotional and physical way two people interact when they romatically love each other.  Not the love between friends, family, a god, etc.

EDIT (Again): Oops.  I got psychologist and psychiatrist mixed up.  I always do that.  Well, just  ignore what I said above, or if you can, get the "gist" of what I am trying to say.

[Zelgadis 638]

EDIT: The "good looking" statement above might make me seem shallow (and maybe I am) but I think for a healthy relationship there must be good emotional and physical interaction between two people.  So, yes, I pursued my partner because I thought he was good looking, but then I developed a very deep emotional bond once I got to know him better.  If no emotional connection developed, the relationship wouldn't have lasted.  It could have definately developed the opposite way: having an attraction to the persons character and then finding physical attraction.  But in my case, it didn't.

quote>

Not so shallow, I think.  After all, what else do we see first other than looks?  Well, perhaps personality, if you happened to meet your bf on the internet, as I did.  But mine is still a fairly unique situation.  After all, physical attraction is important.  Lucky for me, I managed to find a Japanese guy who has a thing for white guys. 

ISF

[newyorkstate 6]

Hmm... This is one VERY interesting thread! I should come by and visit here more often, though I have no comments on just about everything, so, ya!

[thesonofgray 0]

Not so shallow, I think.quote>

Thanks?

My best (gay) friend met his boyfriend over the internet.  It's a risky business.  People can completely hide behind a different character.   But if it works out, more power to ya.

_Muahahahaha

[Zelgadis 638]

Originally posted by: thesonofgray

Not so shallow, I think.quote>

Thanks?

My best (gay) friend met his boyfriend over the internet.  It's a risky business.  People can completely hide behind a different character.   But if it works out, more power to ya.

_Muahahahahaquote>

Mwa ha ha ha indeed. 

It is a risky business to meet a bf on the internet.  I went into the situation not planning to meet a bf at all.  But I did.  I'm rather suprised it did work out.

And to newyorkstate:  Welcome!  Even without comments, you are welcome here. 

ISF

[RiverCocytus 0]

fwo, ho ho...

~-Edited-~

I have tried a lot of online dating stuff, but most of it doesn't work. Usually, it just gives women the option to be maximally defensive, which means relationships never progress. Relationships include a significant element of risk...

Of course, from what I have heard, women have been basically coerced into prostitution through distance relationships. I guess a pimp can pretty easily disguise his true motives online. So I guess they aren't out of line being careful.

About dating someone 14 years older than you, I dated a woman who was 2 years older than me and it was weird. she was all, like ready to get married, and I was still in college. Odd stuff that. Makes things a bit uncomfortable, really. Of course, her Ex had it no better.

As for me in dating/relationships, I haven't gone on a date since last September, and I haven't been in a relationship for 2 and a half almost 3 years. So I might not agree with your choices, but I can at least be elated that someone is having success with relationships. I certainly have not been highly successful. But then again, I am only 23, so I've got time. My parents were 39 when I was born.

I went to a nightclub last weekend, but the women I met were either too picky (but cool) or smelled strongly of Marijuana. Maybe I need to go back in time to the 19th century or something. Nightclubs are too loud. Xo

[thesonofgray 0]

~-Edited-~

I don't like night clubs.  And I would be inclined to say many people there aren't looking for meaningful relationships.  But maybe I'm wrongfully generalizing.

I found my partner at the school we both attended.

[GingerBlokey 30]

If anyone wonders why I dont visit this thread much anymore its because its far too heavy for me. This is meant to be light discussion. I think Zeg is gonna this thread a makeover and hopefully make it alot lighter. Just chill.

[thatmonkeysim 8]

i dont blame you thier adam... soon, hopefully, itll get back to its old ways...

[thesonofgray 0]

That's too bad.

Let it be a "light" discussion then.

[vid 0]

[ephorex_77 0]

Originally posted by: vid «It's a risky business. People can completely hide behind a different character.»

Très vrai, mon ami. Très vrai.

I agree with GB, keep it short and simple.quote>

 

 A whole new account just to prove a point?? =P

~-Edited-~

[sloppet 3]

~-Edited-~ 

[Boggy1 45]

~-Edited-~

ephorex_77: Could be a coincidence..

[RiverCocytus 0]

~-Edited-~

Sorry guys don't think we should be discussing things like that...

RC EDIT: Nice.

[thesonofgray 0]

Well. There is just so much to reply to.

[thatmonkeysim 8]

lol sorry... but the topic was questionable...

[vid 0]

It isn't a new account. I made vid back in, what was it, October? November? The thingy will say. I was going to switch over to it because IdealBB can't handle name changes but then I won the trixie and decided it would be too much of a hassle for admin to change everything over, so never switched. Vidioman is banned. I'm his youngest brother (Solstice22 is the middle child) filling in for him.

I'm being as good as I can, except for the multiple usernames thing. I'm willing to bet a good 1/3rd of the members here are just other members alter egos.

Nice to see the ~Edited~ is getting a good run.

[ephorex_77 0]

Originally posted by: thatmonkeysim lol sorry... but the topic was questionable...quote>

 

How so??

vid: Yeah, I thought it was you =P

[Zelgadis 638]

Fellow Closeteers,

After extensive research, the moderators and topic originator have decided to put forth a clear demarcation of guidelines for this thread.  The reasoning behind this is that debates that start in this thread nearly always degenerate into flame wars or something close to it.

So here are the guidelines for what this thread is all about.

This is what this thread is for, in GingerBlokey's words, which we agreed with:

"The closet is a place for GLBT, questioning, and straight people to come, discuss their problems, chat about clothes, men, women, etc. and not be negative about each other.  It is a place for everyone to chill, show some pics, have fun, and tell a joke or two."

This is what the thread is not for:

- Heavy psychological or sociological debate.

- Above all, this thread is not for debate as to whether homosexuality is "right" or "wrong!"

Any post that falls into the category of what this thread is not for will be edited instantly.  No longer will we be waiting to "see how this goes" as we have done in the past.  This thread is now 50+ pages and we all now have a pretty good idea of when something is going to degrade into bashing.  We will no longer be reaching that point.

You are more than welcome to discuss the "rightness" or "wrongness" on your own time, but not here.

So as not to be too heavy-handed, there are exceptions to these guidelines.  For example, if somebody come to the Closet with a gay-related problem or issue to be sorted out, and light or moderate polite debate ensues over the offering of solutions, then that's okay.

Finally, these guidelines are not up for debate.  This idea has already been discussed at length between those in charge of the thread. 

This will also be edited into the first post of the Closet.

ISF

[GingerBlokey 30]

Thanks so much Zeg. That was thoroughly needed I just feel this should be a much .. happier .. thread now.

[thatmonkeysim 8]

just a tad... i hope...

[Boggy1 45]

hmm, can we have real heavy discussions on space? Like, how M Theory could be the new GUT and that the manifolds of space-time are changing their cosmological strings?

[thatmonkeysim 8]

>.< No please thats TOO heavy!

[Zelgadis 638]

Originally posted by: Boggy1 hmm, can we have real heavy discussions on space? Like, how M Theory could be the new GUT and that the manifolds of space-time are changing their cosmological strings?quote>

You could try it, but you would shortly thereafter be arrested for murder in the making of all our heads explode.

ISF

[Boggy1 45]

aw... but I love stuff like that. Its soo soo facinating.

Like, did you know, that the highest ever recorded triplet power on a Quantistabalizer Time Fixtator (with a Subspace Chronaton Field Ammeter attached) is 10.11, 26.0047Hz/S/S?

I mean, come ON! How usefull is that!? Who knows when you will be using a subspace scanning probe on a Quantistabalizer Time Fixtator and need to know the exact Gaussian frequency? (which, incidently, is 2< 5 >6 dilithium 2< 5 >1 diallosilicate 1 < 9 > 1 heptoferranide which includes a Doppler power flux of 2351.9 Hz at 80.53 seconds, with a drift rate of 0.015 Hz/sec.)

Edit: Anyone else seeing weird smilie faces with a ">" below them? I am. Must be a glitch. >> >>

[GingerBlokey 30]

*is dizzy*

[thatmonkeysim 8]

*head explodes*

[newyorkstate 6]

Hm... This thread is sort of annoying. Everytime I click on "Last," it brings me to page 56.... But the action is only occuring on page 55, THIS page! Is it just me?

*Head Explodes Too, But For Two Reasons* Don't Ask! Heehee....