Autism Awareness

[Screwballl 196]

ok quick reply didn;t work so I'll copy it here:

This is something that you take day by day, week by week, month by month and just don't give up. In many cases once you start making strides and finding what works to get him learning, the brain makes the connections for a normal life albeit in different ways than the typical person does. Its liek going to the store in a new city. You following the regular people taking main routes gets you there, typical brain. Now taking the small side streets and not learning the main roads to get there is more like the path that will need to made for anyone with this type of condition. Gets lost using typical routes so atypical routes need to be implemented. This is why I never did good in school as I advanced in grades. At first I was very advanced, picked up on certain subjects very quickly. I was reading at a 2nd grade level in preschool. Then the other subjects I always struggled in and still do to a point today, math being one of them. I can remember numbers like crazy but manipulating them is the tough part. Even basic math say adding 241 + 1685, I usually need a calculator because it takes me several minutes to do it in my head, and with work or something else that can take too long for a customer or others.

Patience and love will take you farther than you could imagine. There are ways to set the proper paths and catch them up to speed, it just takes non-typical way to set those paths and it is finding these ways which can be most frustrating for a parent. My daugthter will be 4at the end of this month and she is still very advanced, but its the simple instructions that she seems to have the most problems comprehending. An example is we recently got a puppy, she can't seem to understand why a leash is not needed when the puppy is put in the fenced-in backyard. Yet on the same note she can use the magnetic letters on the fridge and spell my name Mike or several other 4 and 5 letter words. She is drawing, most kids at this age are still mostly scribbles but she draws a stick figure with a round body, it includes fingers, toes, eyes, mouth, nose and hair. She can also write her own name which is 7 letters long and if we say a letter, she can write at least 15-20 of the letters. All this at 3 years old.

We have had to resort to non-typical ways of learning for certain subjects for her and some seem to work, others don't. This is all par for the course and as I remember much of what I went through growing up, I am trying to use some of those methods of how I learned with her. Try board games, "Memory" game and pronounce each item, when driving down the road point out easily identifiable objects and say it clearly. All different things to help the kid out. My main problem is keeping the wife quiet long enough to do some of these things with my daughter. Lately it also has been tough keeping the daughter quiet long enough to listen to us as she talks from the time she wakes up until the time she goes to bed.

Hope to hear in another year that all is well with your children and remember, DON'T GIVE UP!

[Meg 368]

 since they will need to be as "autónomos" (I could not translate this word   as posible in the future, we have to let them act as free as posible without letting them fall into a dangerous situation. 

quote>

 

I believe the word you are looking for is "autonomous":  

1) Not controlled by others or by outside forces; independent: an autonomous judiciary; an autonomous division of a corporate conglomerate.
2) Independent in mind or judgment; self-directed. 

I'm glad to hear that both of your sons are making progress and wish them continued success in the future.

[jeronij 13]

Originally posted by: SkiGeek

 since they will need to be as "autónomos" (I could not translate this word   as posible in the future, we have to let them act as free as posible without letting them fall into a dangerous situation. 

quote>

 

I believe the word you are looking for is "autonomous":  

1) Not controlled by others or by outside forces; independent: an autonomous judiciary; an autonomous division of a corporate conglomerate.

2) Independent in mind or judgment; self-directed. 

I'm glad to hear that both of your sons are making progress and wish them continued success in the future.

quote>

 

Yes, this is very close to what I meant. You are very kind for your help

Specially 2). Sefl directed would be the most accurate description to what I meant, knowing how difficult can be that (self-direction) for our children

A good day follows a bad one.

[Skink000 0]

@Joesocwork:

Thank you for this topic. It is part of the heart and soul of this community and what makes a forum great.

I have never known autism but now have a better understanding.

I can sympathize with you and your children as far as being disabled goes. I have been physically disabled since birth and growing up in the 50's and 60's that way was pure hell.

I could not run and play sports or games because of my legs, feet and ankles, I wore coke bottle glasses

and started wearing a bone conductor hearing aid before I was in my teens. I was teased, bullied, excluded and degraded until I got my growth spurt in my late teens and people smartened up and had second thoughts about picking on someone almost 6' tall and 200 lbs.

It was not just other kids either, a few grown ups had to have their fun also.

Hahahaha payback CAN be a b**ch    .

What is strange to me is now that I am grown, 55 years old, have much more trouble walking, now my hearing aid is behind the ear and I am classified as seriously deaf, and have added diabetes and heart attacks to the list, people now see me a pretty normal. It's still the same me yet now people treat me as normal, go figure. Because I have never been able to run I have a warped "fight or flight" response. I do not do flight very well. Backing down is often not an option.

I have always had to stand there and take the consequences and that gets interesting at times.

Once on  a dark moonless night I found myself surrounded by a herd of wild pigs and no where to go. The boar would charge to within ten feet of me and then back off. The herd would circle me again and the boar would do his freight train like charge again and I would say another prayer. Hahahahaha fortunately they moved off after a while.

I found early on that the best thing for my well being is laughter, the more pain the more laughter I need. It's pretty hard to think of pain when you are cracking up. It is the best medicine.

Another aspect shared by disabilities is that no one else can truly understand them with out having walked a mile in your shoes. I have always wished for a doctor that had diabetes so I would know that they REALLY understand and are not just reading it from a book. (Not that I would wish diabetes on any one). 

I know I will never understand autism, I haven't walked there, but my heart and prayers go out to those that do, God Bless your children and you parents that work so hard for them.

I need to go find a good laugh, till later, have a great day.

[Joesocwork 4]

Skink000,

One of my all time favorite quotes on tv is from M*A*S*H (approx.) "Anger turned inward is depression, anger turned sideways is Hawkeye". I'm glad that humour works for you! In my field of social work we're trained to empathize and see things the way our clients see things. That helps in developing a clinical perspective to be able to talk with our clients in such a way to them to understand and accept things that are not easy to accept.

Thanks for sharing and I hope you continue to find some cool things to make you laugh!

[callagrafx 3]

Just found this thread thru your sig.....As a father, I can truly sympathise with you, it's hard enough bringing up "normal" children, without the added complication that Autism brings....I have no experience with the disorder except what I've read and information gained here and I am very surprised that more is not known about the causes...I admire you and your wifes courage and dedication in dealing with it and I hope if I ever (God forbid) find myself in the same situation, I would act as you have done.

And Skink, if you need a good laugh, read through the Picture War forum game

[The boy formerly known as Evil Muzz 27]

I'm glad to see this topic coming up again.

My brother is about to begin high school... He isn't severly autistic, but enough to make him noticibly different from everyone else. In just a few weeks he joins children who haven't known him from hsi previous school, and will no doubt want to make an impression on other children by picking on other children, my brother is likely to be a target. I will be a prefect then, and I'll be able to watch out for him, but in a year or two when I leave, it'll just be him, so I hope I can help him gain some kind of confidence so that by then he can deal with anything himself. Joe, having an autistic child and being a social worker with kids, what do you think would be the best way for me to sort out any problems that my brother has with other kids, without risking getting into trouble and losing my job as a prefect...?

[Joesocwork 4]

Cal:  Thanks very much.  No what matter their condition or heath or looks, children, especially our own offspring are always a blessing, aren't they!

Batty ():  I think that it's really special that you look after and care for your brother in such a way.  I often wonder what goes through my 6 y.o daughter's mind when it comes to her relationship w/ her brother.   Like many others has to go through the normal sibling rivalries while still already knowing that her brother is "special".  I've got loads of respect for siblings in such situations.

I don't know what your school system is like, but one thing I would recommend for you and your parents is to make sure that the school, including the teachers, principals, and other professionals, become aware of your brother's condition so that they can make sure they can make whatever accommodations that they need to make, including safety.   Hopefully he already has an educational plan, so that they are assisting them in other areas.    If your brother is high functioning enough, it might not be bad if you also prepared him for the changes in school and how to potentially react when people interact with him.  If you have friends at the school, depending on comfortable you are with discussing your brother, you might to casually enlist them to be on the look out fr time to time to make sure he's either okay or that people aren't picking on him.   Anyway it really helps to have a good support system in those cases. I wish you, your brother, and your family well.

[callagrafx 3]

that they are Joe...they are the meaning of life.

[Grneyes78 0]

I would just like to say how great it is to see parents so interested in their children's lives. I have a friend 9who is hearing) who is a teacher in a deaf class. Almost none of her kids' parents sign or communicate w/ their kids. It is very sad to see. She had a girl in class who is Muslim and it was Ramadan and couldn't eat during the day. She didn't know why. She thought she was being punished, her father just told her she couldn't eat. My friend was very upset. She talked to the dad and learned that it was Ramadan. Then she could explain to the girl why she couldn't eat. The girl was fine after that. My friend's daughter is in a deaf pre-school class as the model for the deaf children. She has known these kids for a couoke of years and just discovered she is the only hearing kid in her class. She was signing before she was talking!!! So, it is great seeing parents who are active and worried and in touch w/ their kids' difficulties.

[Meg 368]

Back in my work-study student days, I shared an office with a work-study student from Galludet, the university for the deaf.    He told me that one of the worst things about being deaf was that most people didn't communicate with you unless they absolutely had to.  He said that life can be very boring and lonely with only "necessary" communication. 

I later worked with a deaf guy and also took the opportunity for casual conversation when I encountered him, even if it was just to say "sorry about them Vikings" (he's from Minnesota).  My sign language is sufficient to communcate with a patient deaf person but I can't interpret real time, which goes too quickly for me.

[Grneyes78 0]

My friend attended Galludet an dthey wouldn't pass her on her signing (she took the test five times) because she was hearing. They then hired her for their graduate program and put her on the cover of their graduate progam flyer. She doesn't work for them anymore though. And that is sad about ppl only communicating with the deaf when they "had" to. Though the deaf community does foster that kind of thinking in the way they refuse to assimilate with the hearing world. The recent situation with the president of the school being a perfect example.

I do think the interest in mental health and autism and like disorders is increasing and only benefits can come from parents sharing their insights and lives to help their kids and others to function in the outside world.

[IDS2 3,369]

*sigh* good luck, Joe, Autism isn't easy, good think he can speak, even if it's distorted...

[chef101 0]

As for me, I have two brothers with autism. I still don't know much about it, but I do know that my brothers have the same capabilities as I do. My little brother has always had much better video game skills(not that I'm bad at video games).My older brother has much better artistic skills. He can draw anything he wants to draw with perfect accuracy. All i'm saying is, that they have the capability to learn anything. It's just the fact that they don't learn like we do, and that's why there are so little teachers out there that know how to teach them.

[IDS2 3,369]

Indeed, autism is very sad, very separational...*sigh* good luck with everything.

[Joesocwork 4]

Yep, it's that time of the year again...

This time, instead of giving a personal progress message, I thought it would be cool to share a positive page The Magistrate (my wife) found on the Internet  Top 10 Terrific Traits of Autistic People.  Enjoy!

[hym 358]

Joe, that was a very cool article your wife found. I hope that you continue to enjoy the time you have with your children.

[Meg 368]

Joe,  do you know that there is an autism expo in Howard County this month?

[Joesocwork 4]

^^^I know a few or else have read fr quite a few of these people, especially the local ones.  This sounds like a good seminar for parents that want to do an ABA (Applied Behavioural Analysis) school.  I'm not sold for or against the theory yet.

I keep thinking about the traits in the article.  A lot of these really do apply to my son.

1) Autistic People Rarely Lie: 

Almost.  There are times when occasionally I wonder if says what he thinks his parents or teacher want to hear.  But if that is the case that means he's learning to tune in to others.

 2) People on the Autism Spectrum Live in the Moment True

3) People with Autism Rarely Judge Others

True

4) Autistic People are Passionate

True.  Often singlemindedly so.   When is about something he is really about it!  He also experiences a wide range of emotions intensely even if they are not easy for him to communicate and easily recognized.

5) People with Autism Are Not Tied to Social Expectations

True.

6) People with Autism Have Terrific Memories

True .

7) Autistic People Are Less Materialistic

Almost.  He likes what he likes.

Autistic People Play Fewer Head Games

Almost.  He somehow knows how to push his sister's hot buttons and will do so like any other sibling!

9) Autistic People Have Fewer Hidden Agendas

Very true!   He is about what he thinking about at the moment.

10) People with Autism Open New Doors for Neurotypicals

Oh yeah!  For me, especially in learning and deciphering how people communicate.  His style reminds me of the "Darmok" episode where the aliens talk in metaphors.  I don't think his is that sophisticated.  I think it is him sharing what is exactly on his mind, usually a video, event, or want he is perseverating on, uncluttered by anything else.

[flame1396 9]

I am very close to mildly autistic... Not enough to warrant a diagnosis... But I ahve a batch of related little tics and oddball habits.

For a long time my oddness kept me out of social life (until 7th grade) and I'm still pretty withdrawn...

I am obsessive about things not being perfect (which is why Simcity has its pull to me I suppose)

And I will sometimes repeat things I say but under my breath. Usually If it was funny to me or if I chose words that didn't sound right to me.

As for joes list.... It's.... surprising how many fit me pretty well.

1) True. I rarely lie and am bad at it, though can think on my feet and fudge things a little.

2) About half the time...

3) No

4) Yes, I get stuck on things and wont quit until I'm happy about it (often why I build so slowly in SC4)

5) I'm not....

6) Yep, more long term than short, but I can impress people with little details I remember.

7) Nope, I like my pointless little things I don't really need. YAY consumerism!

Hmm... not really. Though I don't really know how many other people do... I do like pranks though

9) Sometimes, though often I plan after school time during classes.

10) I get complimented on my insight and my ability to look at things differently. She says I really get to know people...

[The boy formerly known as Evil Muzz 27]

My brother fits that quite well.

1) He doesn't lie a lot, and when he does you can tell that he is lying, he's not very good at it, which is no bad thing.

2) I'd say that was true too. He doesn't really think about the future consequences of what he does.

3) Yes, he doesn't judge other people, aside form name-calling of people he doesn't like.

4) Yep, if he doesn't like something he LOATHES it! But if he likes it he LOVES it! There's no median on most things.

5) He had some difficulty at school for being different, but when his class was told about his autsim, they have become more patient.

6) Very true.

7) Hmmm, maybe. But if you asked him what christmas was about I can almost garuntee he would say "the presents"!

He tries to wind me up a lot, but he isn't very good at it!

9) Yes, thats true. He always makes clear his intentions, and when he doesn't it's quite obvious that there is something else bothering him.

10) His communication is better now, he still has odd little phrases that can take a bit of thought to decipher, but it's not as bad as he used to be.

[IDS2 3,369]

*bump*

You may have heard on the news recently, that scientists are looking into ways to reverse the effects of autism! It worked on one person or something like that...now imagine if they eradicated autism. That would be great.

[Joesocwork 4]

Thanks! You know, as a parent of an autistic child I never would have imagined that it would include devoting a summer to scouring local parks and ponds for geese for him to look at!

[Adley 0]

There is evidence that rising autism is linked to chemicals. Did you know that only 30 chemicals out of 85000 are well documented? This means that any of the other 84,970 chemicals or various combinations of them could be guilty for causing Autism. That was from an Article in The Economist I think focused on a study in Texas about autism and chemical links. I usually leave the resource quoting to my mother so I dont remember the exact month or magazine name per say, just that I THINK it was in the Economist. I myself have Asperger's Syndrome... Its hard finding a job where social ability isn't very important.. Sadly most jobs that are willing to take Autistics often have to do with being around or handling chemicals. In a world that is becoming more and more dependent on chemicals for more and more things. Things like Autism will continue to rise as well. Only with enough research and documentation of known chemicals can we discover the actual Autism causing chemical.

[patriots_1228 51]

yea apparently they are really close to some breakthrough on autism research. did you guys know that 1-100 somthing people have autism? thats alot.

[zane900 1]

Originally posted by: Joesocwork don’t know if he is a “savant” with special gifts like in the movie Rain Man. quote>

Were you thinking of a movie called the "Rain maker?"

I'm very wretched to hear about your son, Joe. Like Meg, I haven't had any personal experiences or encounters when it comes to autism, but I do have a funny story. When I was just a toddler I had a book. I was obsessed with this book. On each of the inside covers many fish were drawn and each was a different color. Whenever I opened the book I would always point to the brown fish. One day me, my mother and my father were about the read the book and so they opened it up. As usual, I pointed to the brown fish. Suddenly my mom says, quite calmly, "You know, of course, Zane's color blind." My dad, utterly suprised that 1) My mom had just made an ubsurd statement. 2) That she acted so calmly saying it, that he replied with a solid, "What?"

"Oh yes," my mom replies, "of course. My dad was colorblind, so he'll be colorblind. You know, something about the recessive gene... Haven't you noticed how his eyes are always drawn to the brown fish?" This silly chit chat went on for what must have been an hour, and before I knew, it, my mother had my father convinced that I was color blind. "Oh no..." My dad says, but much to my surprise my mother replies "What? Your unhappy hat he's color blind?" "Of course I'm unhappy that he's color blind!" "What does it matter? My father was color blind!"

It turned out, that I was never color blind. Obviously you have more of a basis to go on than my mother did, Joe, and obviously Autism is a lot worse than not being able to see the green of the grass, but Joe, don't loose hope. Autism or no autism, with a father like you, your son is bound to be an awesome human being in the truest sense of the word. Autism or no autism, I'm sure you'll find a way for all three of you to live a happy life. Autism or no autism, you love your son. 

[freedo50 1]

Originally posted by: IDS2 *bump*

You may have heard on the news recently, that scientists are looking into ways to reverse the effects of autism! It worked on one person or something like that...now imagine if they eradicated autism. That would be great.quote>

I'm not so sure it could be called "great" and left at that, I have several mildly (and one severely) autistic friends and most of them are happy with who they are and I would find it hard to believe that they would get rid of their autism just like that if they had the option. I know that those with severe autism would probably want to get rid of it if given the choice, but I think that those who have only mild autism find that it gives them their own, unique perspective on life, and I think it opens quite a few doors as well as closing others.

Just a quick $0.02

Fred

[Joesocwork 4]

I went to a conference today on life planning tools for parents with children w/ severe disabilities.  As much as I fantasize that my son will be totally self-sufficient when he comes of age I can't afford not to plan for it being otherwise.  I was going to share the twelve steps we were shown about how to prepare but I'm still waiting for that to come online.  Instead I've decide to post a touching poem by an author, named Norman Kunc who covered the tragic story of a 13 y.o. girl with cerebral palsy who euthanized by her father & the father was found not guilty.  The poem is told from the perspective of a person with a disability.  When they showed the video (and again I don't have a link and it had the same introduction that comes in front of the title) it reminded me of what is taught to social workers about youth in foster care.  The whole point, imo, is the right for respect and self-determination.

Throughout history, people with physical and mental disabilities have been abandoned at birth,

banished from society, used as court jesters, drowned and burned during the Inquisition,

gassed in Nazi Germany, and still continue to be segregated, institutionalized,

tortured in the name of behavior management, abused, raped, euthanized, and murdered.

Now, for the first time, people with disabilities are taking their rightful

place as fully contributing citizens. The danger is that we will respond with

remediation and benevolence rather than equity and respect. And so, we offer you

 

A CREDO FOR SUPPORT

Do Not see my disability as the problem. Recognize that my disability is an attribute.

Do Not see my disability as a deficit. It is you who see me as deviant and helpless.

Do Not try to fix me because I am not broken. Support me.

I can make my contribution to the community in my way.

Do Not see me as your client. I am your fellow citizen.

See me as your neighbor. Remember, none of us can be self-sufficient.

Do Not try to modify my behavior. Be still & listen.

What you define as inappropriate may be my attempt to communicate with you in the only way I can.

Do Not try to change me; you have no right. Help me learn what I want to know.

Do Not hide your uncertainty behind “professional” distance.

Be a person who listens, and does not take my struggle away from me by trying to

make it all better.

Do Not use theories and strategies on me.

Be with me. And when we struggle with each other, let that give rise to self-reflection.

Do Not try to control me. I have a right to my power as a person.

What you call non-compliance or manipulation may actually be the only way I can

exert some control over my life

Do Not teach me to be obedient, submissive, and polite.

I need to feel entitled to say No if I am to prot

[Craig-Abcvs 1,595]

My youngest son has made friends with a boy with mild autism that goes to his school.  He is 9...  his brother (14) also has autism...  but more severe, he is unable to be mainstreamed and attends a special school.

Having one child with autism would present its challenges...  two I can not imagine...

[sixers33 3]

I am in the middle of an assignment about Autism for English. I suggest people read the book "A Curious Dog in the Night Time"

It definately teaches you alot, and is a very interesting read. It's about a child who has autism (about 14 years old) who tries to investigate a dog that has been murdered across the road.