Quote of the Day

[Titanicbuff 1,262]

Thought I'd be funny here- 

 

If you fart and no one is around to smell it, did you really fart?

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for
the first time.
        -- Alfred E. Wiggam

[jmsepe 2,040]

"Rectitude carried to excess hardens into stiffness; benevolence indulged beyond measure sinks into weakness."

- Date Masamune

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.
        -- St. Augustine

 

[This bishop is the author of priestly celibacy.  He was married and had nine children. -ed]

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

The broad mass of a nation... will more easily fall victim to a big lie
than to a small one.
        -- Adolf Hitler, "Mein Kampf"

 

---

 

Naturally the common people don't want war... but after all it is the leaders
of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to
drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.  Voice or no voice, the people
can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders.  That is easy.  All you
have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists
for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.  It works the same
in every country.
        -- Hermann Goering
 

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

The Worst Musical Trio
    There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at
a famous concert hall while still learning the rudiments of their
instrument.  This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian
gentleman who was owed a personal favour by Georges Enesco, the celebrated
violinist.  Enesco agreed to give lessons to the son who was quite
unhampered by great musical talent.
    Three years later the boy's father insisted that he give a public
concert.  "His aunt said that nobody plays the violin better than he does.
A cousin heard him the other day and screamed with enthusiasm."  Although
Enesco feared the consequences, he arranged a recital at the Salle Gaveau
in Paris.  However, nobody bought a ticket since the soloist was unknown.
    "Then you must accompany him on the piano," said the boy's father,
"and it will be a sell out."
    Reluctantly, Enesco agreed and it was.  On the night an excited
audience gathered.  Before the concert began Enesco became nervous and
asked for someone to turn his pages.
    In the audience was Alfred Cortot, the brilliant pianist, who
volunteered and made his way to the stage.
    The soloist was of uniformly low standard and next morning the
music critic of Le Figaro wrote: "There was a strange concert at the Salle
Gaveau last night.  The man whom we adore when he plays the violin played
the piano.  Another whom we adore when he plays the piano turned the pages.
But the man who should have turned the pages played the violin."
        -- Stephen Pile, "The Book of Heroic Failures"
 

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

"Taxes should hurt.  I just mailed my own tax return last night and I
am prepared to say `ouch!' as loud as anyone."
        -- Ronald Reagan

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

There is no such thing as an ugly woman -- there are only the ones who do
not know how to make themselves attractive.
        -- Christian Dior

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as
the greatest of dangers to be feared.  To preserve our independence, we must
not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt.  If we run into such debts, we
must be taxed in our meat and drink, in our necessities and in our comforts,
in our labor and in our amusements.  If we can prevent the government from
wasting the labor of the people, under the pretense of caring for them, they
will be happy.
        -- Thomas Jefferson

[Terring 6,476]

"Today we have access to highly advanced technologies. But our social and economic system has not kept up with our technological capabilities that could easily create a world of abundance, free of servitude and debt."

Jacque Fresco

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom.
        -- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

Neglect of duty does not cease, by repetition, to be neglect of duty.
        -- Napoleon

[Hellken 1,658]

"Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur"

-Unknown

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

"Vir sapit qui pauca loquitur"

-Unknown

My old (very old) Latin translates that as The man is wise who says little.

With respect to Homeland Security and other national security abominations how about this: Qui ispos custodes custodiet?

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

"There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and engineers.
While the first two are more pleasant, the third is by far the more certain."
        -- Baron Rothschild, ca. 1800

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on
weather forecasters.
        -- Jean-Paul Kauffmann

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was."
        -- Walt West

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

Some of us will remember when this was first broadcast:

Felix Catus is your taxonomic nomenclature,
An endothermic quadruped, carnivorous by nature.
Your visual, olfactory, and auditory senses
Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
I find myself intrigued by your sub-vocal oscillations,
A singular development of cat communications
That obviates your basic hedonistic predelection
For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
A tail is quite essential for your acrobatic talents:
You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance;
And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
Oh Spot, the complex levels of behavior you display
Connote a fairly well-developed cognitive array.
And though you are not sentient, Spot, and do not comprehend,
I nonetheless consider you a true and valued friend.
        -- Lt. Cmdr. Data, "An Ode to Spot"

 

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

No Civil War picture ever made a nickel.
        -- MGM executive Irving Thalberg to Louis B. Mayer about
           film rights to "Gone With the Wind".
           Cerf/Navasky, "The Experts Speak"

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

    There was once a programmer who worked upon microprocessors.  "Look at
how well off I am here," he said to a mainframe programmer who came to visit,
"I have my own operating system and file storage device.  I do not have to
share my resources with anyone.  The software is self-consistent and
easy-to-use.  Why do you not quit your present job and join me here?"
    The mainframe programmer then began to describe his system to his
friend, saying: "The mainframe sits like an ancient sage meditating in the
midst of the data center.  Its disk drives lie end-to-end like a great ocean
of machinery.  The software is a multi-faceted as a diamond and as convoluted
as a primeval jungle.  The programs, each unique, move through the system
like a swift-flowing river.  That is why I am happy where I am."
    The microcomputer programmer, upon hearing this, fell silent.  But the
two programmers remained friends until the end of their days.
        -- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"

 

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

Any president should have the right to shoot at least two people a year
without explanation.
        -- Herbert Hoover, discussing the press

[Odainsaker 2,137]

"For one year you shall refrain from holding a funeral, or mourning his death in any public way.  If, after one year, your conduct is deemed acceptable, we will reveal to you his place of burial."

-  Told to hapless families of executed prisoners during Iran's 1988 secret mass killings of political and religious dissenters.  During the five month surprise purge, up to an estimated 30,000 internal enemies of the state were systematically eradicated by "Special Commissions" following secret orders from Khomeini.

 

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

How can you do 'New Math' problems with an 'Old Math' mind?
        -- Charles Schulz

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

[A demonstration of how rules are made to be bent out of shape.]

Any Member introducing or causing to be introduced a dog into the Society's
premises shall be liable to a fine of £5 inflicted by the Treasurer. Any animal
leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat. Any animal entering on
Police business shall be deemed to be a wombat.
        -- Rule 51, Oxford Union Society

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

Politics are almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.  In war,
you can only be killed once.
        -- Winston Churchill

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

"When politics and religion are intermingled, a people is
 suffused with a sense of invulnerability, and gathering speed
 in their forward charge, they fail to see the cliff ahead of them."
               Frank Herbert, Dune

[+Guest]

I have seen the sea lashed into fury and tossed into spray, and its grandeur moves the soul of the dullest man; but I remember that its not the billows, but the calm level of the sea from which all heights and depths measured.

 -James A. Garfield

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

    In the beginning there was only one kind of Mathematician, created by
the Great Mathematical Spirit from the Book: the Topologist.  And they grew to
large numbers and prospered.
    One day they looked up in the heavens and desired to reach up as far
as the eye could see.  So they set out in building a Mathematical edifice that
was to reach up as far as "up" went.  Further and further up they went ...
until one night the edifice collapsed under the weight of paradox.
    The following morning saw only rubble where there once was a huge
structure reaching to the heavens.  One by one, the Mathematicians climbed
out from under the rubble.  It was a miracle that nobody was killed; but when
they began to speak to one another, SURPRISE of all surprises! they could not
understand each other.  They all spoke different languages.  They all fought
amongst themselves and each went about their own way.  To this day the
Topologists remain the original Mathematicians.
        -- The Story of Babel

[Moral:  Mathematics is the root of all conflict. -Ed.]

 

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane,
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief and pain
For promised joy.
        -- Robert Burns, "To a Mouse", 1785

 

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

"Believe nothing, O monks, merely because you have been told it ... or
 because it is traditional, or because you yourselves have imagined it.
 Do not believe what your teacher tells you merely out of respect for
 the teacher. But whatsoever, after due examination and analysis, you
 find to be conducive to the good, the benefit, the welfare of all beings
 -- that doctrine believe and cling to, and take it as your guide."
   [Buddha [Siddhartha Gautama] (?563-?483 BCE), founder of Buddhism]

[An early statement of the scientific method. -Ed.]