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The Ballina Files

A City Journal by kkffoo

  • Entries
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About this City Journal

This world is inspired by the Ballina Delta region, created by @Missecho
https://community.simtropolis.com/files/file/34078-ballina-delta/

All other names and places have been created either at random, or from the fevered imagination of Kkffoo, or some combination of both.
No person, or place is meant to represent a real world equivalent.
Mayor portraits created within https://avatarmaker.com/

The action takes place in a fictional space located somewhere off the shore of North East England, which strangely borders several other countries not shown on the map (hoping to cover any cultural anachronisms in one long travelling excuse).
Two local reporters tour the district, interviewing local Mayors and uncovering the mysteries which lurk in the Ballina Delta.

I can only apologies in advance for any misunderstandings in game play, and for my under stuffed mods folder. I am easily confused.
Hopefully what the tales lack in tech skills and visual bling can be made up for in entertainment value.

I would like to dedicate what follows to my dear friends the two Johns, who always, very kindly, laugh in the right places.
Let the Kkffoollery commence!

 

Entries in this City Journal

kkffoo

Burton: Letty Albin

By kkffoo,

Letty Albin, Mayor of Burton A massive unlit bonfire towered at the end of a processional path of cardboard Llamas. A rowdy gaggle of students were heaving a massive wicker hoop upright, while another excited group steered an unstable wheelbarrow full of waste wood towards the ceremonial pyre. Myrtle and I were squirty lemony fresh Bleacho into the dubious looking camper toilet inside Lowell Cree’s vintage motorhome, also known, by my friend at least, as ‘the rust bucket’. I really wasn’t sure if...
kkffoo

Boll: Stella Kenelm

By kkffoo,

Stella Kenelm, Mayor of Boll I was waiting for Myrtle outside the Boll Road Sheltered housing unit, poking at a bit of loose plastic which kept popping up on the dashboard when I noticed my old apartment block neighbour, Mrs Rorshach, glaring at me out of Doris’s old bedroom window. ‘Don’t encourage that tedious old witch,’ instructed Myrtle, as she landed rather heavily into the passenger seat. ‘I had to have a shower at the Fire Station this morning because she ran off all the hot water in the building...
kkffoo

Feilubin: Isabella Braeden

By kkffoo,

Isabella Braeden, Mayor of Feilubin Urban legend suggests that the price charged per hour goes up a hundred dollars per floor in the Eagle Corp Business Services Tower. Horatio Chiseler, declared by Myrtle to be decent for a legal type, rented offices in the lower levels, so my elevator trip was short, and his fees were simply unaffordable, rather than astronomical. Even so, I had signed up for the ‘thirty minutes focused sessions’ rather than a more luxurious hour, to discuss the finer details of my...
kkffoo

Cuinchy: Lynda Cheryl

By kkffoo,

Lynda Cheryl, Mayor of Cuinchy Myrtle had finally worked herself up to visiting the chiropodist, so I had a little time to myself. After reading ten times through a letter from my legal representative, which explained the difference between subsidence caused by a gas explosion, as opposed to a gas explosion set off by subsidence, I decided to sort out my hair instead. Edna the hairdresser had been quite cutting when I met her coming out of the post office. Ok, it could be seen as a generous offer to do a...
kkffoo

Dallas: Parry Marcelyn

By kkffoo,

Parry Marcelyn, senior orthopaedic surgeon and Mayor of Dallas (when he has the time) Ward twenty-seven, of the Ball memorial Hospital in Dallas was run by a very efficient sergeant major type Matron. Hildebrande Fassbinder had Les so tightly tucked into his bed that he could hardly move. As non-combatants we were considered too untidy to stay for the ward round, so we hid behind a pillar in the corridor and peeped through the squares of safety glass to watch as Chief Surgeon Marcelyn toured the beds,...
kkffoo

Harden: Janis Douglass

By kkffoo,

Janis Douglass, Mayor of Harden Clinton, or Bill as he asked me to call him, turned out to be quite an interesting man. In the occasional breaks that he got between shouting at the young ‘uns’ for putting the tyres in the wrong pile, he would come around to the portacabin for a quick chat and a nice brew up. His time in the army was a rich source of stories, and he had me laughing or in one case weeping, as he shared his experiences, and tales about the characters he’d known. One name that cropped up...
kkffoo

Douglas: Isabel Todd

By kkffoo,

Isabel Todd, Mayor of Douglas Sleeping in the portacabin was not easy. Our used tyre dealing neighbour, Clinton, had translated his newly refound enthusiasm into buying up the expired leases from the abandoned plots around our small industrial estate. From six in the morning until past ten at night, I could hear endless activity. Great pyramids of quality used radials and cross-plies surrounded the office on all sides. Still it was better than the war of nerves trying to avoid being found out for squatting...
kkffoo

Bachrein: Lowell Cree

By kkffoo,

Lowell Cree, Mayor of Bachrein I will say this for Myrtle, she isn’t easily thrown. After I fell through a ceiling panel and landed in a heap next to her breakfast table, she did not, as I might have done, scream or make a fuss. The large dining hall in Boll Road Sheltered Housing Unit is a noisy room, with gingham-aproned attendants hurrying around, mopping up spills, and clanking dishes. Thankfully, my unusual method of arrival did not attract as much attention as it might have done in a less chaotic...
kkffoo

Dudley: Candis Dortha

By kkffoo,

Candis Dortha: Mayor of Dudley My daily mood is best reflected in the patterns I create while squeezing honey onto my porridge. This morning’s cereal featured a daisy, hopeful, fresh and ready for the new year. A ray of sun appeared through the kitchen window, and for a moment obliterated the distant view of construction cranes on the horizon. I looked happily around my tiny domain, taking in the lovely new mug set that Myrtle had kindly bought me for Christmas, squeezed between the electric kettle and a...
kkffoo

Houston: Mollie Desirae

By kkffoo,

Mayor of Houston: Mollie Desirae (continued from https://community.simtropolis.com/journals/entry/30209-hend-garth-ilene/ ) Houston has a lively nightlife, and the festive season had swelled the ranks of thrill seekers more than usual. Even the desperate backwater which housed The Railway Cutter Man’s Green Arms saw staggering groups of laughing revellers banging taxi doors, falling into gutters and generally making a nuisance of themselves. A few even rattled the handle of the bar door, hoping for a...
kkffoo

Hend: Garth Ilene

By kkffoo,

Mayor of Hend, Garth Ilene ‘I wanted an estimate, not a heart attack!’ Our old faithful had moved on from unreliable starts, to difficult goes and almost impossible stops. Bob's grease pit staff gathered around, shaking their heads and wondering if mending the old girl was worth it at all. Myrtle and I drove dejectedly out of the garage, with the car making charung ka-flutter noises, accompanied by intermittent squeals and grinding sounds. Heading for the portacabin, we hit traffic, and the engine’s...
kkffoo

Furlanija: Stacy Maurine

By kkffoo,

Stacy Maurine, Mayor of Furlanija The next week was spent in a state of nervous tension. Myrtle was mysteriously absent, and my phone calls went unanswered. This left me with not much to do but worry for days on end, and all the uncertainty manifested itself in the usual way by messing up my sleep patterns. I found myself wandering my apartment at night, visiting the bathroom, making endless soothing hot drinks, then visiting the bathroom yet again. By Thursday I had decided I could use the small hours...
kkffoo

Foulden: Jem Frank

By kkffoo,

Mayor of Foulden, Jem Frank Our portacabin sat on a light industrial estate, near to the main streets of Ballina Central. The land had been designated a development zone, and over the years had been subject to various political whims and proposed building schemes, none of which ever came to much. I had been feeling more nervous recently though, due to Fairbanks and his recent push for development. Leaving the dusty front yard, I noticed again how the plots around us had been slowly emptying as leases ran...
kkffoo

Galatia : Rebeccanne Jezza

By kkffoo,

Mayor of Galacia, Rebeccanne Jezza Myrtle’s new coat, when it first appeared, fitted easily through the letterbox. The dense, vac-packed parcel gave birth to a synthetic fabric coat, which was so stiff that Myrtle could hardly fit her arms into the sleeves. ‘It doesn’t look like the picture’, she complained, consulting her well read ‘handy buys for seniors’ mail order catalogue. Our postie, Joe that used to be Joanne according to Myrtle, had delivered some surprisingly useful items recently. The jar...
kkffoo

Beesley : Amberley Danna

By kkffoo,

Amberley Danna, Mayor of Beesley The Simnation Federated Grocer, a respected trade magazine with low circulation numbers and a strong tendency towards avoiding conflict had this to say about Norman Randolph Small. Former Librarian, age 68. Owner of the Small Shop range of convenience stores. His business practices have met with a mixed reaction among some customers. ‘Mixed reaction,’ Myrtle blurted out in frustration, ‘have you seen his prices?’ We found ourselves in the outskirts of Beesley, with just...
kkffoo

Guinee: Thea Quinton

By kkffoo,

Mayor of Guinee, Dr Thea Quinton (PhD) Myrtle, my sound recordist, seemed to have switched her purchasing obsession away from TV shopping channel tat, and transferred allegiance to the hideous range of cut-priced goods that made up the stock of Gustav’s Gewgaws and Knicknacks. The car park of this establishment served as an overflow display area for occasions when all the monstrosities could not be housed within. A battalion of life-sized gnomes stared at me. The mix of poor moulding and slapdash...
kkffoo

Huxley: Scotty Lou

By kkffoo,

Mayor of Huxley, Scotty Lou We had dropped off the old faithful at Bob’s Grease Pit to get a full service with complimentary valet, and the courtesy car they lent us was far from ideal. Bright red, with advertising slogans on every external surface. The interior was proving a challenge as well. Myrtle, being taller and more solidly built than myself, had managed to wedge herself up against the passenger window, and if she kept her knee on the glove box and foot pressed against the handbrake she could...
kkffoo

Birma: Norah Christabel

By kkffoo,

Mayor of Birma, Norah Christabel The ferry ticket website flashed red, all pre-booked places had been taken. Myrtle was right, I do leave things to the last minute, especially when I’m not looking forward to something. An appointment with Norah Christabel was not a situation I liked to contemplate. As a cub reporter on the now defunct Houston Herald, the fiery redhead had made me feel inches high on numerous occasions while reporting from government house. I framed the words of my apology to my colleague...
kkffoo

Finska: Gary Korey

By kkffoo,

Gary Korey (or Corey as we have seen sometimes) first found fame as a world class athlete. He then left his country of origin under a political cloud, and made a new home here in Ballina, planning to share his experience, and inspire young hopefuls to compete in sporting events, both locally and wider afield. You may have seen the Finska Mayor making regular appearances selling the Korey range of fitness equipment on a well known TV shopping channel. He also runs popular motivational workshops, and has...
kkffoo

Farnham : Bindy Saige

By kkffoo,

Bindy Saige “They’ve stolen the Taj Mahal!”. This mysterious phone message left us at the Ballina Files both intrigued and puzzled, but paying a visit would give us the chance to interview the new Farnham Mayor, and that was an opportunity too interesting to miss. Bindy Saige, niece to that unforgettable grand dame Edwina Saige, had stormed to victory in the ensuing election, after the notable lady, forty years the Mayor, had passed away in a fit of apoplexy brought on by a dispute with an overcharging...
kkffoo
Augustine Osbourne, Mayor of Deighton Deighton sits at the head of two major rivers, within the tidal range of the Ballina Sea. Mayor Osbourne said he would be delighted to meet and talk to us for the Ballina files, but he laid down some strict conditions. There would be no queries about his personal life, and he would only talk to us after midnight, in a deserted part of town. Although the pre-conditions seemed a little odd, the politician was perfectly charming by phone, and said he would be glad to...
kkffoo

Cale: Willy Ember

By kkffoo,

Cale: Population 1860 Mayor: Willy Ember The Backstory: Willy’s defining moment was a weekend of passion spent with the love of his life, a voluptuous Mexican side order cook. As a penniless farmhand at the mercy of his bigoted father, the relationship was inevitably doomed. By returning home, and following family tradition by marrying his second cousin, Willy gained enough paternal approval to gain a small loan, which he used to purchase a failing food truck business. To the horror of his whole...
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