Cale: Willy Ember
Cale: Population 1860
Mayor: Willy Ember
The Backstory:
Willy’s defining moment was a weekend of passion spent with the love of his life, a voluptuous Mexican side order cook.
As a penniless farmhand at the mercy of his bigoted father, the relationship was inevitably doomed.
By returning home, and following family tradition by marrying his second cousin, Willy gained enough paternal approval to gain a small loan, which he used to purchase a failing food truck business.
To the horror of his whole community he named the new venture in tribute to his heartbroken ex lover , and so the now legendary Cecilia’s Greasy Taco franchise was born.
Ember’s wife was not best pleased, but enjoyed the financial rewards enough to weather the storms of their difficult relationship, and so bore, and raised five children.
However, family relationships finally boiled over when remarks were made at a local pie eating festival, which led to a shootout between Mrs Ember and the wife of the local police chief (first cousin: ten pies : three minutes: gold medal).
Willy quickly sold his business, and they left town within a week, with just enough cash to purchase some acres of run down farmland in the remote hill-top district of Cale, County Ballina.
Elvira sadly perished on the journey, attempting to leap to shore from the rear of their not yet docked ferry, and into the jaws of a passing shark.
Eye witnesses stated that she could have saved herself still, if her sandals had been fastened, or if she had thrown aside her knitting to grab a hand-rail.
Ember remarked that she ‘always was an impatient woman’.
The newly made widower, with his children all grown up, now found himself living alone and in charge of a cabbage farm. Luckily for him, his eldest granddaughter had recently lost her home and job, and was happy to move into the second bedroom of the rickety, leak prone bungalow.
‘Pappy just needs someone to keep an eye on him’, she told us. Soon after this, the young ceramics artist invited her long term girlfriend to join the household.
Willy’s upbringing had not prepared him for this situation, and despite his kindly nature, tensions arose, especially when the newest arrival adopted a squadron of cats from a local shelter.
Eventually Ember resolved his inner conflict by being ‘nice as pie’ to anyone he knew personally, and spewing bile remotely towards various media personalities.
He now spends his days tripping over felines, accidentally breaking hand-painted tea-cups and shouting at the television.
The Mayorship was almost accidentally gained, when he turned out to be the sanest candidate on a very worrying list. Local business man, Bob G Pit, said, ‘it was either him or the nut job who wanted to blast half the mountainside away to make a salmon farm. I’m not counting that woman from the ‘tidy up the hedges’ group. Littering should never be considered a hanging offence, not in this town anyway’.
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