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In Doug We Trust

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1001 ways to confuse a suit

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He looked at the computer screen, scratching his head.

He looked across the desk. Mary had a fake smile with a“I'm scared out of my britches” look on her face. Doug had his stare affixed on a spot on the floor, glaring hard at it. He, obviously, was not only quite unhappy, but less apt to hide his feelings.

“So...uh...” The corporate suit behind the desk cleared his throat. “What does this all mean?”

Mary opened her mouth, but Doug spoke up before she could get a word out.“It means Earth is deleted.”

the suit cleared his throat again. “Uh...deleted...what...exactly does that mean?”

“It means Earth is gone. Kaput. You know. It doesn't revolve around the sun anymore.”

“I believe the correct term is 'orbit',” Mary spoke up.

Doug glared at her. “Whatever.” She sank further into her seat.

“So...we have a backup, right?”

Doug shook his head. “The backup is corrupt.”

“...and what does that mean?”

“It's like if you took a piece of paper with some writing on it and poured water over it.”

“Wouldn't it dry out?” the suit asked.

“Yeah...but you won't be able to read the writing.”

“You might be able to read some of the writing!” spoke up Mary, hopefully.

The suit nodded in satisfaction. “Ah! Really!”

“Yes,” Mary said, this time a little more unsure of herself as she glanced at Doug.

“Technically, yeah,” Doug said. “But the main Earth folder, that's gone now. The planet...poof. Gone. A lot of the sub folders made it – especially for the less dominate species. But the main species, the human species...there is a lot of corruption in that file, too. There were originally about 5 billion files there...right now, I have two thousand semi-complete files.”


“The basic elements are there...but their memories are shot.”

“So...can you recreate Earth?”

“Sure. But, it won't be the original Earth. I can make a copy of another planetary file, and reuse it for Earth. We have several that are almost exact duplicates, save the way the continents will be set up. But, the human element...well, your guess is as good as mine.”



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So we're going to have an Earth...  Which is not really Earth...  With a few thousand semi-sane humans in it.

Sounds like fun!  Bring on the beer! 


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And here I thought computer literacy classes were useless... We seem to have found a few potential students!

As for the new earth, possibilities possibilities, this should be interesting. Fun as usual,


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And Doug reconfigured the Earth file, and he saw that it was good....until he reinstalled the human element.

Wow, first a new ST, with a new CJ Section, now a whole new planet.  My head is a bit whirly...lemme think...who am I again?  Oh, that's right, you probably don't know, because you were also deleted, and have no memory.  But how will you remember the story?  Doug only knows what is going to happen now.

Yours truly,
An Unknown Reader

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Ummmm... let me get this straight... or can it be straight......... ?
Allright let's resume... Doug, have (re)created Htrae, or did He? (Well if it's name is Doug it must be Htrae!)
Were did the (almost) 5 billions went?
Same question that was asked on the Stock Exchange floor by the way...
I'm confused, but then again my memory... what memory? Has been reconfigured....
Must stop and think of all this.... please don't hit CTRL-ALT-DEL in the meantime!
(hearing mumblings and receeding footsteps....)

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Hm? Wha...did someone call me?
Oh well...nevermind. I certainly wouldn't want everyone here to know that the Balearic Shrew is actually the dominant Earth species (too bad they have been extinct for quite some time)...oh...wait...should not have let that slip...
Brother. Am I going to have to delete everyone for that slight slip of the tongue?

More comments are forthcoming, but I am presently getting ready to create some more fjords.

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ForeverShafer: Yes, well - Earth, did after all, have a rather good run and all of that. If only this time, we had remembered to include wrist watches in the reincarnation!

Zelgadis: Beer?

Uh oh. Forgot that, too. Hm. No need. Fortunately, we still have spelll cheack.

SimHoTToDDy: Actually, computer classes can be quite useful - I've gotten some of my best naps during some such classes.

Liv: Truth be told, there are some parts of the planet we are still working on - there are quite a few mountains to the east that could use some work.
On the other hand, there are rumors from some of our developers that changes could be coming to New Earth. This look a little two-dimensional right now...there are rumors that this could change in a few months!
Hopefully, I don't accidentally delete Earth a second time during the transition.

Darmok: I would, of course, like to take credit for creating Earth - I really would. Unfortunately, I cannot. The original Earth program was actually many, many, many different programs created by many users - quite of a few of them have passed. In fact, one just went by a moment ago (Hello, Jerry). No one is quite sure how the various programs were bought together into one very complicated program - but, I must tell you, it actually was a rather sloppy patchwork of files. In fact, it was only challenged in complicatedness by the seventh planet of the FViireron 5 system.
And, with so many files and subfiles working together (and sometimes against) each other, the original Earth program was beginning to bog down quite a bit. I found quite a few rhetoric subprograms that I think we are able to do without quite nicely.
I certainly hope none of those turns out to be of any importance...

abcvs: Yes, that had been tried. Unfortunately, my closest save had been done during something called "the '70s", a time in which most people were quite miserable, thanks to a plague known as a Nixon.
The next most recent time was February 29, 1900 - but that was just a silly time!

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