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Something Evil This Way Cometh

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Note: This is a reprise from Schulmania Volume 1 from June 2008. This is one of the many ever-too-subtle hints about what was to come for Schulmania. In this case, I used the ST hack attack to introduce the idea that someone meant Schulmania harm. Now, we can see better who it is I was referring to...

Something Evil This Way Cometh

A Scheme to Destabilize Schulmania


The Hacking Restoration Commission

Full Commission Report

A cyberspace attack on Schulmania in May 2008 has been unsuccessful in permanently impacting the Supreme Wirdle's serene domain. Some damage was seen in posts across the entire thread, but backups of nearly all posts have made recovery very easy. The Supreme Wirdle appointed Archduke B. B. Bower to be in charge of restoration efforts. The Supreme Wirdle has appointed a blue ribbon panel of experts to determine the cause of the attack. Right now, attention has been focused upon this cat:


Chief Investigator Dan Dfnva reported on page 262 of Schulmania that this cat was seen on multiple occasions during the Simtropolis downtimes. Upon further investigation, the sightings have been independently confirmed. The question is, then, is this cat a traitor to Schulmania? Or, is there a far more complex and far more sinister answer to this question? Sir Leech, a member of the Council of New Atkinos, suggested on page 262 of Schulmania that the cat in question might not be a cat at all.

Forensic experts have been called to review the evidence. Dr. Joe Tropian is leading the investigation. Several clues have been found at the cyber scene of the crime. Back at his mysterious, secret, underground lab, Dr. Joe is looking at several key pieces of evidence. What he was expecting to find on the first genetic sample was this:


This is cat DNA. If this was a match with the sample collected at the crime scene, a troubling situation arises: a cat disloyal to the Supreme Wirdle, bent on destroying her nation. If it doesn't match, we have an equally troubling situation: an unknown enemy with the same intent. It is hard to determine which is worse.

The genetic material recovered at the scene had this pattern:


Obviously, not a match. Something else is going on here. Perhaps Sir Leech was right. But, an interesting thing, never before detected, was also noted on the sample. The sample showed signs of a temporal anomaly - chroniton particles were detected. Not what you would expect from anything which belonged in the Schulmania timeframe.


This would indicate that the "cat" in question is a visitor from another time period. Very troubling. The Supreme Wirdle was informed at once. The identity of the assailant is still unknown, but a few valuable clues have been discovered. It is known that the assailant is not a cat, but has been disguised as one, possibly to infiltrate Schulmania. The assailant seems to be from another time period and another clue was found - a faint footprint visible just outside of Schulmania's borders...


New Atkinos Councilman Matthew Spidey summoned Dr. Smarty to review the evidence. Back in the lab, a valuable clue was detected. It was nearly skipped at first. But, an intensive review of Matlock re-runs and a CSI marathon from DVD box sets, it was determined that this print has an identifying characteristic. Using near ultraviolet light, a letter was seen imprinted in the heel. It was the letter "Q".

This disturbing new information has been reported to the Supreme Wirdle, who will release a statement later on this topic. She has already issued a decree ordering the completion of restoration efforts, currently stalled at page 200. She has also declared that June 2008 will be officially designated as "Simtropolis Rocks Month" in honor of the efforts of members and administrators to take care of the site. The Supreme Wirdle is dedicated to preserving Schulmania and will vigorously protect her domain.

Our Schulmania site visitors:


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Then again, the initial suspect may be the mysterious culprit in disguise! I would'nt trust that costume-cat...

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Leech 10   It’s hard to say. Once you start one of those mess with the timeline kind of things, everything gets a bit confused. But, Queensferry is definitely up to something.


abcvs   Your meal was a giant two patty hamburger about a foot tall, crowned with a fried egg and julienned beetroot. You washed it down with a L&P.


Archaen   Somebody pro-Queensferry, it would seem. But, we are not yet sure as to whom…


CTMandR   You may be right – if I saw the lolcat live and in person, I would assume he was up to something. We’ll have to see…


TmiguelT   Spicyness? I like spicy… as long as it tastes good (like Spicy Nacho Doritos!)


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Leech 10   Gotta have the glow… particles aren’t any fun without a glow. And blue is the new fall fashion color for particles…


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Hester   Those buggs are ALWAYS up to no good!


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