education Professor sat in on son's sex-ed class and the internet is hearing about it.

[EyeofMobius 27]

http://www.thestranger.com/features/feature/2015/04/15/22062331/i-sat-in-on-my-sons-sex-ed-class-and-i-was-shocked-by-what-i-heard

 

It seems like the abstinence-only sex education debate is coming into season with the number of articles I have seen lately. This story is entertaining and I feel that it highlights why this issue is something that needs to be addressed and rethought.

 

I have very strong thoughts about this topic which fall close to the author's but I can't confirm all of them. I am an active supporter of sex-positive education and the importance of teaching inclusive interpersonal relationship skills.

 

I want everyone who wishes to discuss the topic here to feel accepted and included regardless of what opinion they hold. I won't make assumptions about anyone; I will respectfully ask for clarification on any point made that I don't understand; I will be respectful in any challenges I make to any points raised and I will respond to any challenges made in a respectful manner; I hope everyone else follows my example or betters it.

 

Welcome.

 

Who would like to start?

[ROFLyoshi 1,760]

Kids are going to do it regardless of their parents views. What would I rather, a child doing something I don't want them to, or a child doing that and ending up pregnant?

Abstinence only sex-ed doesn't work, as kids might feel pressured into having sex (because all their friends have or whatever). So I think it's best to equip them with the knowledge of how to prevent spread of STIs or unwanted pregnancies. The prudish mentality needs to stop.

On a side note regarding the article, critical thinking is a skill that definitely needs to be taught in schools. Don't just accept what is presented to you as fact, look up WHY it is so and of it makes any sense.

[Duke87 1,070]

This is definitely a generational thing. For the Gen X/Y/Z crowd, openness about sexuality is increasingly normal with each generation. For the baby boomer crowd, people grew up in a culture heavy on traditional family values and to varying degrees still maintain that moral mindset... but living with that mindset in today's world can result in some absurdities trying to reconcile it. A great example: my sister's boyfriend came to visit over spring break last year and met a bunch of the family. Our parents dutifully made them sleep in separate rooms while he was visiting. They're not stupid and they know their precious little girl is having sex - but they can't bring themselves to allow her to share a bed with a boy under their roof because then they'd feel guilty of the enabling the sin.

 

Abstinence-only sex ed is then just a more severe manifestation of the same phenomenon - the people responsible for its continued existence for the most part know on a conscious level that teens will do it anyways and that can't be stopped. But out of moral conviction they are not willing to capitulate and teach safe sex, because that would require teaching teens it's acceptable to have sex, which they simply do not believe.

[Sabretooth78 808]

On a side note regarding the article, critical thinking is a skill that definitely needs to be taught in schools. Don't just accept what is presented to you as fact, look up WHY it is so and of it makes any sense.

 

That would cause a collapse of the whole education system.

[Linoa06 1,374]

 

On a side note regarding the article, critical thinking is a skill that definitely needs to be taught in schools. Don't just accept what is presented to you as fact, look up WHY it is so and of it makes any sense.

 

That would cause a collapse of the whole education system.

 

 

Yes, pretty much that, on every level. lol

[A Nonny Moose 8,263]

It is better for kids to see all sides of the sex arguments, but since forbidden fruit is always the sweetest (they think), I am in favour of strong emphasis on contraception.  I'll go even further and say that mechanical contraception is the right way, because chemical means such as birth control pills have to be very carefully used to be effective.  Expecting a teen to handle the timing involved is just silly.

[EyeofMobius 27]

The biggest point that the article raised for me is regarding the issue of consent by saying that a girl who says no is the one you want. "No means no." is just the tip of the iceberg in this as many sex positive people I know, including myself, are pushing forward the message of "Yes means Yes." There are even campaigns showing up with the postered phrase "Just because she isn't saying No doesn't men she is saying yes." The abstinence only style of education isn't just spreading misinformation it is failing to provide people with the basic skills to negotiate and maintain healthy relationships.

[Duke87 1,070]

I'll go even further and say that mechanical contraception is the right way, because chemical means such as birth control pills have to be very carefully used to be effective.  Expecting a teen to handle the timing involved is just silly.

 

Pills also do zilch to prevent the spread of STDs. Doesn't matter so much in a long term monogamous relationship but amongst teens and other people who aren't sleeping with the permanent love of their life, it's a significant issue.

 

The biggest point that the article raised for me is regarding the issue of consent by saying that a girl who says no is the one you want. "No means no." is just the tip of the iceberg in this as many sex positive people I know, including myself, are pushing forward the message of "Yes means Yes." There are even campaigns showing up with the postered phrase "Just because she isn't saying No doesn't men she is saying yes." The abstinence only style of education isn't just spreading misinformation it is failing to provide people with the basic skills to negotiate and maintain healthy relationships.

 

I feel like this misinterprets the message. What they're trying to say is "the girl who refuses to sleep with you is the one you want to marry, she'll make a good wholesome wife", not "the girl who refuses to sleep with you is the one you want to sleep with, she'll be the toughest trophy to win". Of course, young men are likely to hear the latter and fail to grasp the difference, because boys will be boys.

 

But regardless, either interpretation really isn't a healthy way to approach relationships.