Geb

[frogface 352]

the story is still mysterious as usual
i wonder what is going to happen to both characters

[Djohaal 121]

Kelkoten was thirteen years old when he had his first glimpse of mortality. He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He played mindlessly with the cordstring on his window shade, still thinking about that horrible day, two weeks ago, when Mother had come home with Clave, sat him down in the living room, and told him that there

[rustawilliams 0]

Amazing JO, you should write a book lol, Geb! The storyline is getting much better and is a very interesting read!

Keep it up!

rusta

[Yuna 0]

Hello J.O.! Great to see another update here. *I guess you finally got your computer fixed...lol* Ahh...so Kelkoten's father has passed away...I was kind of expecting this, especially since you kind of told me that this will eventually happen...*sigh*, so things seem to be getting worse and worse now, don't they? Kelkoten's father passing away, his mother being laid off work, and now they can't even afford to live in their own home...I hope Kelkoten and his family will be alright in the end... Now, at Abraxus' end of things...lol, you REALLY like to leave readers hanging to find out what is going to happen! I suppose I'll still have to wait for the Awakening to happen...well, I wonder how these two stories of Kelkoten and Abraxus will intertwine later on...By the way, really nice maze you've got here, lol. I'm guessing you made these yourself? Well, it's a really nice addition to this update. Alright then, this CJ has been great so far and I'm sure it'll continue to be just as amazing. So I'll wait patiently for your next update and keep up the great work!

[Djohaal 121]

Kelkoten was nineteen years old when he experienced his first broken heart. He was in the usual giddy, happy mood he

[DuskTrooper 314]

LOL, interesting storyline..JO..
I'd suggest that you add some shooting of some sort.

[Chris M 406]

This is a great CJ.

[frogface 352]

good story i want to see how both storylines mix... that should be interesting

Date: 1/26/2005 8:56:52 PM
Author: DuskTrooper
LOL, interesting storyline..JO..
I'd suggest that you add some shooting of some sort.

and car chases and shootouts and an evil plot to destroy the world

[Yuna 0]

Hi! Wow, it's great to see that you've got another update here so fast already...and it was the very next day too! Hmm...maybe you've already got a whole pile of updates that are ready...lol. Ok, so I guess Kelkoten finally moved out and got his own apartment, right? The neighbourhood looks different than when he was younger... Well, looks like more bad news for Kelkoten now...too bad Fyla had to leave him...it really looks like you're trying to give Kelkoten a real hard time, J.O...lol. So, things are still pretty mysterious with Abraxus' project...artificial intelligence...I'm looking forward to see what is the final outcome of all of this...So anyways, it has been another great update, of course, and I'll be sure to stay tuned to any further development in your story! *I really hope things will be looking up for Kelkoten soon...lol* Anyways, keep up the great work, J.O.!

[Djohaal 121]

Kelkoten was twenty years old when his life began to fall into place. Jill placed the cake on the table in front of Kelkoten. Twenty little candles lined the perimeter. Okay, she whispered in his ear, you can open your eyes now!
Kelkoten opened his eyes, grinned, and kissed Jill lovingly, then pretended that he was only doing it to distract her while he dipped a finger into the creamy frosting. Ill bet Fyla couldn

[frogface 352]

poor kelkoten
at least things seem to be going right for abraxus (or will they )
but i can see what you mean about text heavy updates, its not like you can take a picture of the AI in simcity lucky to be a good at 3dsmax

[Yuna 0]

Hi J.O.! So, another great update within just a few days, lol! Hmm...well, first of all, I want to congratulate you on the wonderful creations you made with the 3dsmax...they are definitely impressive! It's really amazing that you would spend your time and energy to make something complex like this...very well done So, I see that Kelkoten has found a new love of his life! lol, I really like how you incorporate some romance in your story...it's so sweet! But of course, not everything is perfectly happy now...too bad his Uncle Rav has passed on...he must have been a great inspiration in Kelkoten's life...Well, I guess the stories are going to blend in together soon, right? Really interesting things are going on right now, apparently...this AI processor and false reality...Ok, so thank you for another update J.O.! Keep up the story writing and I'll be back again in your next update!

[bourneid 13]

wow...great story..and those pictures are just beutiful. Glad that you are passing some of that on to me....I feel honored. I wish I could come up with a story at least half as good as yours. Were I have flash..you have substance. Most anyone (like me) can take some pictures and add flashy grafics (photoshop helps) and pump out updates. It takes a lot of time and thought to imagion a story and have it match up seamlessly. I envy your ability and skill...both with the story telling and with the BAT and max. Keep up the great work.....

I posted this morning before I headed off to work...wasnt as good as this one....guess the new server Dirk got is one of those smart ones...is trying to tell me to write better comments if I want them not to get eaten....

[Djohaal 121]

[Shadow Assassin 336]

OMG. A computer?

Well... I'd like to congratulate you on a job well done in this city journal... Well done.

[bourneid 13]

Great story update...and a little of the topic..Love the spaceship model you posted over at PEGs site. Great detail. Can we exspect it to be added to the story here too?
and about putting notes on the pictures...the way you right...you wouldnt have pictures large enough...
and the story is developing very nicly. great use of story telling to include both your gameplay and your creations in the BAT.  Keep it up.

PS: look at the time that I am posting this 540am...the Boss picks me up each morning...and hes late..so I am taking advantage of it

[Yuna 0]

Hi J.O.! This was certainly a great update...a special twist in the storyline ending is a great way to end this act...Very well written story J.O.! lol...I would never really have guessed that Kelkoten was actually an artificial intelligence...but now that everything was revealed, it all makes sense now. So this had all been a giant project to develop artificial intelligence that interacts well with humans...Well, this has been a wonderful story and I look forward to your Act III...Maybe I'll sign up to be part of your story as well, lol. I'll wait eagerly for the upcoming update in your CJ, J.O.! Everything has been perfect so far and I know it will only get better! Keep it up!

[newyorkrunaway1 110]

you really put a lot into this CJ! Good Job!!!

[Zoran_yugoslavija 1]

beautiful ,realy
keep going man
and please post some new picture quikly !!!!!!

[Djohaal 121]

Hathor is a small yellow sun that formed on the outer rim of the Kaphil Galaxy, the sun is quite small but very hot and is able to keep life on Geb's orbital level. There are only more 2 planets on the system, the Amank planetoid which never agregrated enough matter to become a planet, it is surrounded by meteorites, and the Merina gas giant, which's mass is so large that it is beleived it used to a secondary star whose fires stopped burning millions of years ago.

Geb as it is called by the natives is an earthlike planet which is surrounded by 3 moons. Their names are Shaned, Nehis and Bhome. The peculiar orbit of these moons causes their aligment to vary trough the year, there are times when the tides stabilize since they form a triangle, other times the line up and there is a very large tide that sweeps the planet, and sometimes their aligment doesn't do anything. When they are seen in an equilateral triangle on the sky, it is the marker of the Euskadian Geddon Festival, their christmas for sorts, but it happens twice an year. Geb's translaction (I think I may be wrong) takes around 1.5 earth years, yet the year is divided into 12 months, where the Geddon festivals divide them into two semesters
Geb's weather is also earthlike, yet the winters are more rigorous and the summers aren't that strong on the grassy plains and mountain ranges. But on the deserts the temperature is always almost unbearable with.


In this image the atmosphere line is cleary visible. Due to some components on the higher atmosphere, it glows a bit at night due to the Ultra Violet rays that come from the sun.

CHARACHTER ROSTER OPEN:
In order to add a charachter for yourself on the storyline I'll need this form to be filled

Name:
Gender:
Age:
Job/Speciality:
Home City*:

I'll not type much more, but the charachter sign-ups are open already. Here are the vacancies that I would like to fill, if you have your own ideas for a new speciality for your charachter, my mind is open.

REQUIRED CHARACHTER JOBS/SPECIALITIES:

Archeologist
Advanced Physichs Physicsit
Space Construction Specialist
Adminsitrative Governamental High-Ranked member.

*Select which city/state between these, also say if you live on the capital of the city-state or in a nearby town.
The City-States are these:
Rakata (Religious State)
Euskadi (Prospering Captalist Nation)
Togo (Industrial Powerhouse)
Cerealia (World's Granary)
Asktatasuna (Powerful Communist Might, Free Kingdom of Askatasuna was annexed to it trough an well-suceeded invasion)

That's all. I'm feeling too lazy to do a personalized feedback, so I'm sorry.

[Yuna 0]

Hi J.O.! So you're finally starting the next part of your CJ...I guess you got over your laziness lol...Well, like I said, the pictures are very well done. I really like the overall view of the Hathor system...it's great how you give just a little background information about the formation and details of each planet. Well, I see that you're starting that character roster that you've talked about a while back...I'd like to join lol...

Name: Yuna (Of course...lol)
Gender: Female
Age: 18
Job: Archaeologist (Hopefully not too young for the job on Geb...)
Home City: Capital city of Rakata

I look forward to seeing the development of your story, J.O.! Keep up the great work!

[timotheus4 39]

Timotheus
Male
39
Adminsitrative Governamental High-Ranked member.
Euskadi, nearby town

[bourneid 13]

name: bourneID
job: Space Construction Specialist
location...right next door to yuna
...j/k anywhere you want me......just give me a big house...a tall ship..and a star to stear by....

[Shadow Assassin 336]

Name: Daniel Henderson
Gender: Male
Age: 28
Job/Speciality: (NEW OCCUPATION) Owner of a freighting business delivering various items between the towns.
Home City*: Euskadi

[Djohaal 121]

It is with great sadness that I have to state that Geb may also die... The issue is that, to make the journal I play sc4 to take the pictures, but my main passion for this had been writing the story... My simcity had been screwer and screwer, to a point that it became TOO burdensome for me to play it to do the pictures...
There's also the world size issue and other things that simcity can't cover, but only written stuff could
Instead I had been thinking about just write the storyline...
No pictures. But I wonder how many of you would read it then.
I could, and will throw up a picture here and there, but the volume would be so low that it would be only one picture every one or two pages... And I have to say there aren't many readers that would be interested in this...

[Fox 1,444]

I loved your cj ever since I saw it. And some of those great pictures you've made, I've loved coming here for updates, unfortunately I've never posted here. First post in your cj thread.

 

Please continue with your story... a picture or two here and there will be a bonus. You have a very creative mind and imagination for someone so young J.O.

 

Keep up this great work.

 

[timotheus4 39]

ah, I just noticed...Lady Deidre, *:y

[MayorTim 16]

This story is awesome! I don't mind if there aren't many in game pics, but does that also mean the end of your awesome graphics? ie: the planet and solar system pics.

Even if they go to, I will still read this amazing story. It really is great, and I hope you continue!

[Djohaal 121]

Date: 3/26/2005 9:52:36 PM
Author: timotheus4
ah, I just noticed...Lady Deidre, *:y

quote>

Ah yes, old games are always a great source of names for the lack of creativity... I could also have played with letters, but it never comes out intrestingly. Aisaroth is a mistyped astaroth (A demon in mythology) which sounds cool anyways...

Fox: Thanks a lot for your kind words, I think I will do that. 3dsmax is easier to do graphics than simcity for this journal... or at least for my intentions.

MayorTim: Not really, the pretty pictures from the solar system and etc will be coming with the updates. If you all behave nicely I may do one per post

[Shadow Assassin 336]

Oh, what?

Just as it was getting good.