Bullies

[LarksTonguesInAspic 28]

A spin-off from the Closet...

How have you been bullied, are you currently being bullied, what did you do about it?

If you've been a bully, confess! 

My experiences have made me very intolerant of bullying, and it has gotten me into some trouble at times. How about you?

[Boggy1 45]

Eh, this will be quite a long post. Time to let out all my feelings. =|

I've been bullied (or at least teased) for as long as I can remember. I guess I was a kinda unique child; I wasn't into sport at all, I adored school, learning and reading, I hated violence, and even at a really young age wouldn't dream of getting involved in anything physical or verbal, and I was exceedingly sensitive (too sensitive in fact).

My first primary school (ages 5 to 7) wasn't too bad. Everyone was so young that we all just got along fine with each other. There wasn't really a concept of being bullied. But the upper school (ages 7 to 12) had quite a few nasty characters in it, who would pick on us little kids for fun. There was one certain gang who had a grudge against me and my friends (our families weren't on the best of terms, which didn't help), and routinely would bully us. Nothing very violent, but there was some pushing and shoving, and too an ultra-sensitive guy like me, it was quite devastating. There is one memory which sticks out in my mind more than any other from that time; my friends and I were sitting in a circle in the school yard, talking. It was summer, and the sun was incredibly bright. Suddenly, a shadow fell over us; the gang members. It's a clich

[JanYpe 17]

Originally posted by: Boggy1

...

Uh, well thats basically my life story. Heh.quote>

Dude. And I thought I knew some annoyances.

((e-hug))

[belfastuniguy 18]

Oh Boggy....that's just terrible...and difficult to read. I hate hearing about people having such unpleasant experiences in life, makes me feel so angry but sad at the same time.

I personally am thankful I was never bullied not even when I came out at school around 13/14. Suppose as you said depends on the school and what your friends are like. I feel somewhat grateful for that, I really enjoyed school some of the best years of life and do miss it at times.

Bullies have no place in schools or indeed society I'm sure people have had managers or senior staff where they work not been too pleasant. There's no excuse for it at all.

E-hug from me as well

[krbe 193]

Originally posted by: manticorefan If you've been a bully, confess! quote>

Oh, yes I did... Unfortunatly only once, but that might be because it was very physical. I only remember that I was getting tired after having been bullied, so I pinched one in the stomach and threw a rock at another one one day. Effective at least.

[hamsterTK 93]

I was a very socially awkward kid in middle school...imagine the character Craig from South Park...

To be honest I probably was on both sides. Things like what Boggy described would happen to me and then I would take it out on someone else. It a was a vicious cycle. Once in high school though it stopped, and I ended up becoming good friends with people I didn't get along with so yeah...

I think that early adolescent period is a just a rough phase and most people grow out of it by maybe 16 at the latest. Nothing you can do about it except take away life lessons and become a better person. People who are never punched or punch someone else and then feel bad about it may never learn how to be sympathetic and understand other's feelings.

Of course there are "grown up bullies" which are more commonly known as "asshats". They fit in a different catagory though..

Anyways, my mom teaches middle school math at a poorer school and I have a huge respect for what she does...

[LarksTonguesInAspic 28]

'Asshats' LOL!

Jackleg is a local Chicago term, similar to another I won't write here.

[nazaguy 0]

Ugh, bullying. The main reason i was bullied was that i was the closest thing to a ethnic minority in my school (im half-Arab) in north Manchester, UK. It started when someone asked me my name when i was in Year 7, i said Nasr, and so he shouted at me 'PAKI!'. The next 4 years of my life were hell, i wouldn't go a day without being called several times a day. Over the years, i started to feel less and less English, to the point were I asked my parents constantly if we could move back to Bahrain. The final straw was when I was being picked on by some guy in the year below me. I eventually just got sick of them slapping me and even spitting at me and I lashed out. I Had a fight with one of them, and 9 of them started fighting with me. Some of my friends stepped in on my side, but the fight only made things worse. They would attack me at any time they could. My parents we to the school many times about it, but they wouldn't do anything besides detentions. Eventually, I just stayed off school for about 3 weeks earlier this year, and my grades really suffered because of it. Im back in school now, i just try to keep out of their way.

[Duke87 1,070]

I wouldn't say I've ever been "bullied" per se, though I have certainly been teased (I guess this depends on how you define "bullying". I'd define it as actual physical abuse, with purely verbal abuse not counting).

In elementary school, there was certainly plenty to tease me about, and people learned really quick how to push my buttons. In particular, I would often get made fun of for how close a friend I was with one other kid. "Aw, you love him", "ooh, you gonna marry him?"... though we were all too young to know what homosexuality is, so it was more innocent than it sounds. It was kindergarten that was the worst, though. The teacher was teaching her first class ever, and by bad luck it contained pretty much all the bad kids (we used the term "blockheads" at the time) in the grade. The worst part, though, was they were always instigating me to act out.. and thus the teacher thought I was the problem and that all the other kids were little darlings. Example: for whatever reason, it came into my head one day when someone made a gun gesture with their hand that I should act as if they actually had a gun and scream. Of course, the teacher didn't notice them, she just noticed me scream and though I was doing it to cause trouble. Other kids quickly caught on, and would repeatedly make gun gestures at me, make me scream, and then watch me get in trouble while they got off scott free, much to their amusement.  And when I tried to explain that I was screaming because people were making gun gestures, the teacher wouldn't hear it and just said that nobody was doing anything that warranted me screaming and thus I was misbehaving and needed to stop it. For a normal kid, that might have been sensible advice- but, though we didn't know it yet at the time, I have OCD- and I wasn't just screaming because I wanted to, I was screaming because I felt like I had to. It was a compulsion of mine which they were exploiting. As these things often do, eventually it went away on its own, but other things replaced it. For a while in 4th-5th grade I felt the need to say "achoo" whenever someone said the word "peanuts" (I'm allergic to peanuts). For the longest time I absolutely could not say "please". Most people thought I was just being rude and stubborn, but I did actually have an intense aversion to it (albeit an irrational one). For a while after denouncing religion I refused to use words like "god" or "Jesus". Even today, I avoid using phrases like "oh my god"... but only because I get hung up on the fact that so far as I'm concerned he's not my god, not because I'm averse to using the word at all (as my use of it in this post obviously demonstrates). Back in the day, I wouldn't have even used the word in the capacity of explaining things- I pretended like it didn't exist. Perhaps the most detrimental holdover from then, though, is that I still get annoyed whenever someone says "god bless you" (or even just "bless you") after I sneeze. In public settings, I just deal with it. But among my family, I tend to yell at them for it, because they should know by now that I don't like it. Still, it doesn't become a big issue. I often get "sorry, force of habit" as a response and that's the end of it.

Anyway, enough of that digression. I can't really definitively say why, but in middle school, my attitude towards teasing shifted radically. All of a sudden, I actually sort of enjoyed being teased. Where previously a comment like "you suck" would have cause significant ire, now it caused amusement. And rather than ranting and raving my response would be along the lines of "yes, I suck. Thanks for the compliment!" This crazy habit died out as I got into high school, though, and was just replaced with a more general shrug of the shoulders or, If I thought of one, a witty comeback.

I guess over the years I grew to recognize that humor applies to me, too, and learned to be able to la

[coolotter88 2]

no bullies in my district

[Deathtoall 28]

Boggy1,

That took alot of courage to say that. You are very brave to say all that! You have made me want to get all this off.


I hve been bullied for as long as i can remember but that would probably down to the fact that i was so different. Bookish,shy and i had obvious speech problems and i am a little bit compulsive.

My first school was pretty normal, they had good anti-bully measure and the same and like everyone else i had scraps and fights. The odd-name or rejection here and there.

By now i had got over my speech problems but it didn't really matter now.

But what was worse would be my first years at high school( male school). I was constantly attacked because i was so different. I live in a costal area but i'm not that fond of it and i don't really play much sport and i went to a school with a big empahsis on sport. I remember two kids that personally went out of there way to annoy the crap out of me. Everyday i remember wanting to hide from them. I felt like that there was no way out and the hangman's noose was getting tighter. I dreaded going to school and even when i had a rare moment where i felt good like when i did well in a test or something allong came "nerd" and excetera and when i did badly it was twice as worse. But in a way my test results in away beacme my own saviour. I put most of my effort into them. Even my few friends were attacked for hanging with me. I often contemplated dropping out or worse. I thought the world was out to get me and that it hated me for being o different.

But i managed to soldier on. I had a massvie relevation. I know it's cliche but for me it has really worked. They were only trying to bring me down. And of course the wonderful place know as Simtropolis has helped.

Eventually the school took action and the two worst kids moved to otherr school, i don't know if the school made them or they just did. I still haven't finished school but now i am friends with most of my year. There is still the groups but the year is moving closer. Now i actually like going to school and participating.

Thanks to everyone else. You have given me the courage to say this. I can't thank you enough.

[ilikehotdogsalot 311]

I haven't been bullied yet *knock on wood*, apart from one time in 5th grade when this kid made fun of me for whatever reason that I forgot. High school's been the best so far, I get along with everyone and haven't had any problems.

I've never bullied anyone, I tend to talk more about people that I don't like when they're not looking *cough* J/K.

[KeldK 0]

I have never been bullied, i think it's mostly because I've got many friends and all that, but i have done something to someone once, which i would call much, much worse that bullying, and that is something that have made feel like a psychopath sometimes when i think about it, and it's defiantly not something I'm proud of.

Ok. let's start from the beginning.

There is this person in my class, he is a very frustrating person, and someone who doesn't know when to shut up. My English isn't so good, so won't come with any examples or something like that. In the class, we had often talked with the teacher about him, and why he didn't move school( BTW. he had some very serious social problems) Our teacher just said things like "I'll talk to him" or stuff like that, but nothing happened.

One day, me and one of my friends had just gotten enough. He starts saying all kind of s**t, and when the teacher tell him to be quiet, he just becomes even more loud. Then the teacher tell him to go outside the door, and he starts screaming ( This is something, that he did about 2-3 times a week )

My friend and i looks at each other, stands up and walks towards him. We smash him in the floor and start kicking and hitting him as hard we could. Off course everyone tries to separate us, and when they finally do it, i fall to the ground and starts crying...

I know this isn't the right way to sort out problems, and had never thought that i would do anything like that in my life, but it happened. But this guy, was making me insane. Not only me, almost the whole class.

You're might thinking "psychopath" or something like that when you read it, so do i. I have regret what i did, so many times. and still several years after, I have problems with my sleep, my education, everything.

I was going to write more, so that you maybe (Note: Maybe) could understand me, but I'm just not very good at English, sorry.

[Boggy1 45]

Thanks for the support everyone. =]

Deathtoall: *hugs* that really sucks I definately know how you feel, especially with the speech problems. Mine were so bad, it got to the point where I was terrefied of the teacher asking me question, because I knew I would be unable to answer. Heck, mine is still rather bad, I tend to slur words and speak too fast.

KeldK: Sounds like one of my loss of control moments. The worst thing I ever did was (unintentionally) fracture someones arm, due to it being a bad week, and everyone picking on me constantly for the entire day. I just snapped, and picked up the chair of the person who was bullying me the most, while he was sitting on it, which proceeded to throw him half way across the room, fracturing his arm. I faced expulsion over it.

[octaves 4]

Hmm, being a bi kid with red hair in high school...isn't fun.

I don't really feel like ruining my good day by going on about my bully details, but lately I've decided to just take it or leave it.  Mostly leaving it, actually, which is something I always found hard to do.

The worst thing ever happened to me is when I was outside the mall alone when a couple (three) guys from my school came up to me.  I was waiting for a drive with my MP3 player on, and didn't think anyone would really notice me, so I just stood there in the half snowing cold.  They came up, smoking weed, typically.  Obviously they must have been drunk too because not one of them could walk a straight line without stumbling, which I'm happy for, one of the guys, named "Tadan" tried to get me to come with them after yelling "GINGER!!" and "EMO!!" from a distance, catching everyone who was walking out of the theater exit's attention.  I thought that was going to be the worst of it, so I just turned my MP3 player up louder when they started yelling at me.  But they all came up to me and started talking to me, surrounding me almost.  The guy behind me was snickering, and the other guy behind me was pointing at something in my direction.

I thought it seemed like something out of a movie, because they wouldn't let me out of their little "circle", and just kept pestering me more and more about "Why are you wearing this?" and "Why are you doing this?" and such, picking me apart, etc.  It wasn't really that long before I could just literally push myself out of it.  The guy I was closest to at the time tried to grab my shoulder but I just shrugged him off and fast walked inside the theaters, where surely there would be some people standing around.  I think if they weren't impaired at the time, they could have done a lot more.  As I walked away from them, the countless four letter words and insults screaming in my direction felt like nothing as I was scared to death, almost.  It wasn't even really that big of a deal because there wasn't any physical beating or anything like that, more of a "scare-the-filthy-ginger-kid-for-fun-while-we're-drunk-and-or-high" things.

Bullying is just...gah. 

[Wrightguy0 40]

In my years in high school I ve been made fun of, had gum put in my hair. Soeone stole my textbook when I went to the bathroom and I never saw it again that same day some immature jerkoff decided it would be fun to slip porn into my bag, yeah lets try and get someon else in trouble by putting illegal contraband in his book bag. Twats.

I've had countles things thrown at me from food, to garbage to pennies to a full water bottle that hit me in the neck. lets throw large objects at someone's head because honestly what's the worst that could happen? I've had two people come up and grab my shoulder and say "You're coming with us" I know, they were just trying to scare me, but what idiot decides to joke about kidnaping in today's uber paranoid world? I was emotionally abused and blackmailed in middle school by a friend, bastard even managed to worm his way into my birthday party making it a horrible experience for me and my other friends sociopath even gave me chances to be his friend, what kind of monster says that your not worthy enough to be my friend but I'm willing to see how you do, but I'm going to treat you like dirt. oh well karma got him back for me.

[SimRabbit 48]

My experienced is kind of mixed. Back when i was in Elementary i got along with other folks in my school. I was . Middle school was much better, sixth grade wasn't really good, i was really tired the first months of the school year. People would punch me on the back to wake me up and play with my hair sometimes. But everybody was really friendly after it especially at the end of the year. 7th was a little better, i was really shy in 7th grade, and some dudes would often ask why i was so quiet. I tried hard to overcome my problem and it finally worked. I started hanging out with some gansters in my school. I started dressing gangsta and hanging out with a gang in my school. We would often had fights with other gangs in the school and stuff and it got me into alot of trouble. Before the end of the year most of gang got expulsed from school so i was like the only member of that gang in the school and other gangs provoked me to fight so i would get suspended as well. 8th grade was the best part of all my school life.

i was no longer in a gang and became sort of like a cool dude. I made a lot of friends and stuff. Sometimes I picked on other ppl that were diffrent from me,and i felt really good. I was suspended for quite a time.

I remember this dude who was in my english class, man everyone harrased him because he was really ugly. One time I hit him in the head accidentally and everyone was laughing at it even the coach and some teachers. i laughed so hard i almost peed my pants. Then I felt sorry for him. I moved to another school before my 8th grade was over. When I was moving into another school, ppl would stop and ask me why i was moving and stuff like that.

During 8th grade I was trying to talk to a girl but I never did, i was so shy to her. I felt nervous when she talked to me. She was really cute. I want to see her again so much.

the rest of my highschool year sucks ass. i moved into a nice school where all the middle and higher class kids go.

A bunch of emos and punks and some jocks go there. Im like the only gangster there. Kids in my school have a negative view on me, they think that im going to fail and end up working at mcdonalds. A few people talk to me, the rest won't even say a bad or good thing to me. Im called white trash some times. This school has a good anti bullying system compared to other schools i have been.

i wish i could move into the "ghettos" again. I miss my old friends alot.

This is my experience.

[autoVino 26]

I've never really been bullied except maybe once when I first came to America.  See I couldn't speak english at all and... well life was tricky.  I'm learning now and getting decent at it.

Now a days, life is simpler, just do you work, ask the right questions, say the right things, etc.  If you don't do that, just make an awkward smile and act confused (and take it in good humor) and all works out fine .

I'm just the type of guy who can't be easily made fun of, or put down... Plus running a good five miles at the end of the day solves all my problems

[Hahayoudied 3]

    I haven't faced much buillies in my life. However, in 4th to 6th grade, I faced agianst racists who dislike asians. This one mexcian kid in Boys and Girls club said all asians have narrow, small eyes, and that their faces are ugly. Too bad for that kid when the club director found out about it the racist.

    In 6th grade, this group of "cool" kids were racists, and they constantly attacking me verbaly. After 6 months of them making fun of me for being a chinese, I told the princple about it. She made an annoucment about racism. At the end, most of the "cool" kids stopped making fun of me.

    This one other dumb person said everyone who have glasses are dumb. Yeah, there was a lot of people with glasses around the dumb person. How smart....

    In 7th grade, this one a**hole kept on calling me overweight (I am NOT overweight) and dumb. Everyday at lunch, he spends about $7.00 on each meal (because he buys so much extra food and drink) and I spent $1.70 to $1.85 to buy lunch. One time, he got a D on his math test and I got a B on my math test. In science class, he contiues call me overweight and dumb. At one point, he got so annoying, the teacher noticed disputes between us, because he kept on hearing us argue. He had the annoyer moved, but then he calla girl, a f**ot. The teacher talked to him and moved him again. Even though he stopped annoying me, he still continues to annoy other people.

    This other kid who isn't just annoying to me, but to everyone that has class with him. He got called out of Spainish class repeatly for being disruptive. He got the teacher so annoyed, she refused to help him with his spainsh homework. Sometime he walks over to the girls and talks to them. Most of the time, they tell him to shut up and go away.

    

[Explodingsims 3]

Well, I've had a bullying experiance in the 4th grade. These two kids there were just harrassing me every day for actually wanting to do well in school, and not conforming to the "Normal" Standard. Only once was I physically harrassed, the teacher made me go to the classroom to get some referals, and one of them pinned me to a table by the neck and yelled at me...Also leaving himself open for a kick in the crotch...which I didn't do though, wouldn't have solved anything. But, as an amazing turn, I ran into one of them at a store after school, during the summer, and he actually apologized for being rude....But after that, nothing major really came up, and I have transferred to a school where they encourage things like doing well, and all the kids follow this thought.

[Haljackey 17,398]

Well, I guess this is in the off-topic section, but why is such a thread on ST?

I understand why general forums, about TV shows, pictures, current events, games, etc. are in the off-topic section, but personally, I don't see a purpose for this thread.

We have all been bullied in some way, yes I know that, but does it really need a thread here?

Best,

-Haljackey

EDIT: I just realized I sounded like Dusktrooper .  No offense intended to anyone who has posted above me.

[hym 358]

haljackey: It's an experience most of us have had, and having support can be very helpful for dealing with the problems. People find support in some odd places sometimes and since the thread isn't violating any rules, I don't see why we can't have a meaningful discussion on the issue. To some extent or another, ST is a community beyond just the common bond of city building. If a member is able to find the support he/she needs to make his/her life more fulfilling, I'd say the thread has accomplished a worthwhile purpose.

[Haljackey 17,398]

Originally posted by: hym To some extent or another, ST is a community beyond just the common bond of city building. If a member is able to find the support he/she needs to make his/her life more fulfilling, I'd say the thread has accomplished a worthwhile purpose.quote>

Fair enough.  I have nothing against this thread (or anyone posting in it for that matter), so I really don't care weather it exists or not.

Each man to his own.  I don't see a purpose, but I guess others do.  I won't be a burden and try to take it away from them. 

Best,

-Haljackey

[granto93 4]

haljackey: you dont see a purpose for this thread. are you blind or just an idiot? seriously. i for one support this thread, good way to share all of our experiences and empathize with eachother. all of you guys are so brave for sharing these experiences and i completely understand what you are going through!

anyways, my life story

In Primary and elementary school (K-6) things were fine for the most part. I was a fairly quiet kid who kept to myself and stuff. I was also the smartest kid in my class all the time but I had my own group of friends that supported me for who I was and stuff so that was comforting. I had the occasional insult thrown my way but it was all cool because i had people on my side and it felt great. I actually became kind of popular in grade 6 when I told off my teacher but thats a different story....did i mention i have slight anger issues?

Grade 7 continued pretty much the same way as grade 6 but it was a significant change because 3 elemantary schools were coming together into one big high school. I had to start from scratch and get to know people....who to stay away from and who to associate with. I also had to deal with having non of my good friends in my class. For the first couple months it was pretty bad because i felt alone in the world, i had no friends but all my old friends had moved on to make new friends. Soon enough things improved though and i found my group. For the last 3/4 of the year things were the best they ever have been, a good working school relationship and we all used to go to the mall and stuff after schools. At the end of the year I lost contact for the most part because i spend about 50% of my summer out of town.

Grade 8 (last year) was the WORST year of my life. polar opposite to grade 7 but much worse. It started off fine as i was pleased to see that most of my grade 7 friends were in with me. But i never considered the new "cool crowd" aka arseholes. I slowly began to loose my friends to the cooler kids and became an outcast once again...well for the most part. I got made fun of for everything i did, everything i said, what i looked like and just about everything else that i could get made fun of for. This continued all year until the very last bell on June 21st.

last summer was great though, i left a hard year and went to my true friends in Labrador which i worked so hard on making the previous summer. I was noticeably changed though. I eventually gave in and talked to my friends and even just dropped and cried on ones shoulder once. She never made fun of me or judged me, she just smiled and got me through it and thats why I now consider her my best friend. The summer was awsome though a little rocky due to my emotions but im sure it was the only thing to save me.

This year things are fine again I guess. I made a great new group of friends but I am still not fully recovered from last year. I still have intense paranoia and i still feel the intense urges to be alone. Thats why i spend so much time on my computer around simtropolis because the only place i can feel true comfort is when im alone jut listening to music and stuff. Im trying to get over it by getting out more and i hope i can be "normal" again someday. Hopefully this summer will once again do the trick again. I look forward to it alot.

well thanks for listening to my life story

[octaves 4]

Awww.  Always good to know there's someone out there who you can cry on their shoulder, Grant. 

SPONTANEOUS GROUP HUG, EVERYONE!

[Hahayoudied 3]

Maybe we should rename the title of the tread....

EDIT: How do we hug through the internet?

Also, I don't like to hug other people or to be hugged by someone.

[octaves 4]

*sigh* 

Fine, let's have a spontaneous group hug without hahayoudied. 

[Deathtoall 28]

Group hugs back

Thanks again everyone, it's good to know that i'm not alone

[kawan 6]

The only experience of bullying I had was at my first year at secondary school as I am of Iraqi descent (my father is from Iraq, but he was born in England). Although it was more like joking around and asking awkward questions, I took it seriously. I lived in Manchester all my life and both primary and secondary schools I went to were mostly white students and it put me off. But it didn't last that long, and we were on good terms.

However it flared up again a year later, when the Iraq War broke out. But it died down again and he became a good guy to know...he was a chav, but the good kind - always making jokes and being the life of the classroom and he stopped being a bully.

I never been a victim of bullying since then, but it still makes me mad when someone badmouths Arabs and thinks that all Arabs are terrorists. But that mostly comes from working-class white people - chavs - whom I never speak to. I don't relate to my roots much now, and I feel purely British. I celebrate Christmas, I love british music, I love full-English breakfasts - basically i'm like most white Brits.

[WillG_75 19]

I've been on both sides. I was always a really quiet kid and didn't have a lot of friends or participated in group activities very much and was always getting picked on. Never was really anything much, but still enough to be really annoying. Around 7th grade, there was this one kid that kept picking on me. We had a confrontation maybe once a week and the final one was when he came to my locker after classes and slammed the locker door on my fingers. It hurt like hell but that was the first time in my life that I felt the need to rip someones head off lol. I ended up punching him in the gut and shoving his head in the locker and slamming the door shut. I was suspended for a week from school for that and when I came back nobody dared to bully me. So then I got the feeling that it I was a bully I would be superior so I started being the bully. This lasted for about two years until a fell into a really bad depression. I went to counselors and a therapist for a while but it didn't really seem to help. The changing point was in 9th grade when one of my friends who was also a bully got stabbed with a knife in the hallway by a kid he picked on. After that, it really affected me and I changed my attitude. I found that to be happy I shouldn't be bullying people but doing things that interest me. I have since found a love in computers and graphic art/design. I am still deciding whether to go to college for network systems or CAD engineering. I guess that if I become a famous engineer, I can thank it all to getting my fingers crushed in a locker in 7th grade