National Geographic Makes Another History-Changing Discovery

[timotheus4 39]

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

ATLANTA - A spokesman for the National Geographic Society has said they have unearthed another historical document in northern Georgia that will change everyone's perceptions of American history. Rigorous scrutiny of the document has dated it to 1867. "This is a really, really, exciting discovery, and we see no reason why the document might not be true", said the spokesman. "This will cause everyone to rethink what they had assumed about the Civil War era and challenge the conventions of those who wrote the history books."

According to conventional American history, President Abraham Lincoln was shot and killed by a crazed Southern sympathizer, John Wilkes Booth. His name is reviled in every history book as the murderer of the man widely considered the greatest President in American history. But according to this document, in virtual tatters after being buried for hundreds of years, Lincoln, a secret Confederate, was weighed down with grief over the loss of the Civil War. He wanted nothing more than to depart this life and rest his bones. Thus, the document alleges, he hired John Wilkes Booth to assassinate him and let him die peacefully, without any suspicion of suicide.

Booth did his work well. His bullet penetrated Lincoln's brain; then, in a brilliant extemporaneous moment of play-acting, he jumped to the stage, shouting "Sic Semper Tyrannis", mounted a horse, and rode away. But Booth had not reckoned on the determination of the government to avenge their fallen chief, and was captured later and hung.

The document closes with a wish that truth might prevail eventually, that the full story would be known to humankind, and Booth's name cleared. The name signed at the end is that of Booth's sister.

"Clearly we are on the edge of an exciting new field in historical studies," said the spokesman. "We cannot wait to see what we will find next." Indeed, that may not be far off. An internal source in the Society has said that their archaeological division has found an authentic 11th century parchment in Somalia intimating that George Washington paid Benedict Arnold to defect to the British.

---------------------

Pretty cool stuff, eh?

[Voar Tok 4]

~edited~ A.C.

[Micah 16]

Anyways, this document is interesting. However, I do not think Abraham Lincoln would want someone to kill himself. A little odd. Well, I'll be interested to see what else this document alleges. As for now, I still believe what I've always been taught about the Civl War.

[beebs 129]

Interesting find. It sounds a little suspect that he'd have someone assasinate him though.

[dev 47]

Not sure if I trust anything the National Geographic has to say...but who knows...it could be true.

[Easy Bakes 253]

Sounds like a good Movie.

other wise Id like to see a link to a story or news release from national geographic.

Iv read NG for 25 years and  for the most part they have thier facts straight

 BEFORE releasing  storys or any research they do. Sometimes  they are wrong but not often

[Cjah 15]

BS.....

I highly dought that is true....

[Skink000 0]

@Easy Bakes: Yes, a link would be nice. I just searched National Geographic News and there was no mention of it.

An internal source in the Society has said that their archaeological division has found an authentic 11th century parchment in Somalia intimating that George Washington paid Benedict Arnold to defect to the British.quote>

Thats about 500 years before Nostradamus (French, 1503 - 1566) I hope they found a time machine with it. If it's an11th century parchment in Somalia, they must mean the other G.W.  

Sounds like it's left over from April fools (no offense to you timotheus4).

[callagrafx 3]

As for now, I still believe what I've always been taught about the Civl War.quote>

History, as they say, is written by the winners....

but I think whilst the idea that Lincoln was a closet confederate is quite amusing, I really don't think, given that this is the man who said "In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The government will not assail you.... You have no oath registered in Heaven to destroy the government, while I shall have the most solemn one to preserve, protect and defend it." AND the man who freed the slaves, was suicidal..got to be ficticious. Lincoln was the LAST President that Americans can be proud of....

[Boggy1 45]

Urrr....what exactly does the "http://www.thisisahoaxandsoisthegospelofjudas.com/" mean timotheus4?

[Meg 368]

Originally posted by: Skink000 @Easy Bakes: Yes, a link would be nice. I just searched National Geographic News and there was no mention of it.

quote>

 

I couldn't find it either.

Sounds like it's left over from April fools (no offense to you timotheus4).

quote>

I was wondering the same thing.  Do you have a link or a scan of printed article? 

[Compromise 1]

I don't know much about US history but this is a interesting discovery if it isn't a joke. I do generally believe what NG have to say but thats if it is them.

[DuskTrooper 314]

"An internal source in the Society has said that their archaeological division has found an authentic 11th century parchment in Somalia intimating that George Washington paid Benedict Arnold to defect to the British."

Umm...the 11th century was some 700 or so years BEFORE the American Revolution?

Hoax busted.

[hym 358]

Sounds like it's left over from April fools (no offense to you timotheus4).

I was wondering the same thing. Do you have a link or a scan of printed article?

quote>

quote>

I've wondered if this is a hoax. Given what DT said, either somebody seriously messed up their facts or this is another historical hoax.

[Simen 1]

LOL, I read this first part, didnt believe crap. went to the bottom, saw the little hint of an url, aha, gave me a small chuckle. then I was shocked... Someone actually went and believed this!? ah come on people! be a little more observant! lmao!

[Voar Tok 4]

Originally posted by: Compromise I don't know much about US history but this is a interesting discovery if it isn't a joke. I do generally believe what NG have to say but thats if it is them.quote>

 

This is so historically off-base that it couldn't possibly be correct.  Somebody made this up just because they wanted to draw attention to something else (as that url of that link would indicate).

[Compromise 1]

Originally posted by: Voar Tok

Originally posted by: Compromise I don't know much about US history but this is a interesting discovery if it isn't a joke. I do generally believe what NG have to say but thats if it is them.quote>

 

This is so historically off-base that it couldn't possibly be correct.  Somebody made this up just because they wanted to draw attention to something else (as that url of that link would indicate).quote>

 

Yes it looks most likely now that it is a hoax. Oh well.

[pickled_pig 7]

I half-believed it for a second. There are many people out there who believe Lincoln was actually for slavery. That's the problem with history - there are so many people out there stating THEIR theory is correct - and because nobody's alive that lived it, we never know.

[Meg 368]

Originally posted by: DuskTrooper "An internal source in the Society has said that their archaeological division has found an authentic 11th century parchment in Somalia intimating that George Washington paid Benedict Arnold to defect to the British."

Umm...the 11th century was some 700 or so years BEFORE the American Revolution?

Hoax busted.quote>

 

Good catch, DT.  I didn't read it that far.

So what is the point of this?  Someone didn't like their currrent magazine cover?

[thesonofgray 0]

Just look at the link at the bottom. I think Timotheus or someone else is just trying to make a statement.

[nealos101 20]

this is a hoax and so is the gospel of judas...

Statement identified, hoax callibrated - Id like to thank everyone here who didn't make a big scene out of this.  Im not an American but I like Abraham Lincoln, and wanting to commit suicide... Naaaaaah.

Nice, a bit late though.

[Energy Monkey 0]

Nice late April fools. I believed it for a second, but nah...

[dev 47]

Well written, Tim. (Finally got it lol...)

Quite funny actually...

[MrCinatit 30]

Hey guys, just to make it official - the article is a hoax (think The Onion). The whole bit about Washington, Arnold and the 11th century should be a pretty good indication.

Technically, quoting the National Geographical Society could be deemed libel. Just sayin'.

I will admit, though, I got a pretty good chuckle out of it.

[screamingman12 30]

Yes, probably not true, you're sure it's from the National Geographic Society? (as opposed to the Weekly World News, or other crap magazines like it.)

[Micah 16]

Well, seeing that this was a joke, it wouldn't surprise me if NG came out with a document like that one.

(On the contrary, I think NG is the best when it comes to their photos.... truly stunning!)

[timotheus4 39]

LOL...I'm glad you all thought it was so good. It took me all of 15 min to write. I didn't particularly think people would get it, especially considering the link and final sentence.

At any rate, I had finally gotten my hands on NG's most recent edition, and got to read the Gospel of Judas article, and I was thinking "this is so ridiculous, they are actually believing it??" So I decided to make a fake to demonstrate by analogy.

[thesonofgray 0]

I think the Gospel of Judas has as much credibility as the other texts of the Bible, but please see my response in the ST HOW, Tim.