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Announcement
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Simtropolis Returns! 05/26/2026
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I address you today as Deputy Mayor of the city: J. Garner. Our city has experienced a multitude of problems and through it all our citizens have steadfastly endorsed this office. We are grateful for your support and endeavor to provide the best from this office. In that regard I wish to comment on the excellent coffee and donuts brought to you by Muzz Buzz and Sally’s Donut Shop. It is with entrepreneurs like these that our city will grow and prosper. I have heard it said the coffee and donuts are to get a sugar and caffein high on so my comments are palatable, but I assure you what I say can be swallowed in one gulp. The previous Mayor was not one to keep me in the know on daily routines. I have, for the most part, been a “go-fer” to this office. And, no he did not “step down,” he ran away! — Interruption — I was just handed a note from the city fathers designating me as your Acting Mayor. I am honored! We faced two major hurdles in our fair city. One being the, “Not Enough Buyers for Products” and the increasingly difficulty of driving anywhere. Through our restructuring of the Industry we found some railroad tracks had been destroyed (investigation proceeding) and shoddy construction of our roads and highways. Once the railroad tracks were repaired the demand for Commercial skyrocketed. We are being diligent to met that demand in every way. The condition of the roads uncovered a scandal that may have been a motivating factor for our former Mayor to disappear. One beneficial thing our former Mayor did do was pack the city bank account. We have a surplus that in tough times will easily provide every citizen the basic needs for life and happiness. Michael A. Gingrich has graciously given time to our City Planner, William A. Tweeter (call him Wat) who is changing our highway system for easier driving. You all have noticed the Pentagon highway exchange that replaced two Autobahn roundabouts. No more snails pace, eh? Wat is our first graduate from the Home Schooling Method of Elementary, High School and College. And, while walking the streets he is forever listening to Philip Glass’s Mishima on his iPod. We have exciting things planned for the city and your input in welcome into this thriving community. I’ll end it here and remember my door is always open… cause it was Italian stained glass taken by our missing Mayor, thank you! Thank You for attending, I am the Mayor (Acting) Haylo Stachoo
