The Great Fire
Western Wirdleonia: The Great Fire
The Schulmauckland District of Wirdleonia comprises of the diplomatic enclave island of Stovokor (in the Sea of Simtropolis) as well as two small towns, Wirdlington and Dadatoetoe. In the district, the only thing of real interest (to Klingons) seems to be Stovokor. On the mainland, the two towns have a mere 600 residents between them, plenty of small farms, and little else. Although, Wirdlington is one of only two towns directly named after the Supreme Wirdle (Wirt being the other). It is that connection which is about to thrust this sleepy southwestern expanse into the spotlight.
Why? Read on…
SCENE 1: MODEL CITY, OCCUPIED ZONE
In the offices of Swarm Master General Ollie Chirp-Chirp…
Swarm Master: “These frisky felines don’t seem to give up. They are misguided and deluded. Where do they get their stubbornness?”
Red Shirt #1: “I don’t know, sir.”
Swarm Master: “Take him away and cocoon him at once! I need ANSWERS!”
Red Shirt #2: “Ummm… we are… um, investigating,…”
Swarm Master: “Enough! Take him away!!! Someone had better give me a straight answer or the whole brigade will be fed to the ArachniCorps. So,… I demand an answer AT ONCE!”
Crony #1: “Perhaps some prisoner interrogation will prove beneficial…”
Swarm Master: “Do so at once… and you’d BETTER come back with useful information, or….”
Crony #1: [gulp!]
Feline prisoners were led to the uleic acid pits for some of the pure essence of Oil of Onimay. Soon, actionable information came forth.
Crony #1: “We have the answer!”
Swarm Master: “Go ahead,…”
Crony #1: “They are extremely loyal to their leader, some sort of ‘wordell’ character. The leader lives in a town named for it. If we destroy the town and the ‘wordell’ leader, we can crush their spirits once and for all.”
Swarm Master: “So, where is this crucial town?”
Crony #1: “Our intelligence says the town of “Wordellington” is far from our forces, toward the southwest. We will need to use the firebugs to cross enemy lines and set the wicked town ablaze.”
Swarm Master: “Do it.”
SCENE 2: WIRDLINGTON, SCHULMAUCKLAND DISTRICT, WIRDLEONIA
A peaceful little town, Wirdlington is, despite using Yoda-like sentence structure…
This sleepy town’s pace is so slow that the town’s slogan is a snore…
Down at the Boar’s Nest, Daisy and Jesse, Bo and Luke are all hanging out and making fun of Roscoe when Daisy says, “Hey, y’all… anyone notice all those bright shiny birds?” At first, Bo and Luke laughed… and then they smelled something… something burning.
The fiery flock started its descent, landing on spots all over town. Quickly, flames were spotted from just about every side. The firebugs have arrived in Wirdlington.
They hit Farmer Pickles’ field first…
They made short work of Doug’s farm as well…
Daisy saw fire coming from the family farm! Uncle Jesse’s windmill was engulfed in flames!
Bo and Luke got back just in time to watch the windmill explode in a mighty fireball.
The Waltons will be left homeless due to this brazen attack on their farmhouse and barn…
The cozy abode of Phillip de Purrton, prize winning gardener and the town’s beekeeper, was set alight. Luckily, the family ran to safety before the house collapsed into a smoldering ruin.
Farmer Kenny Southpark was not so lucky…
Whole neighborhoods went up at once… and even the prized pumpkin patch of Old Man Kürbiskernöl was lost…
Firebugs were systematically targeting every residence and structure in town, as if trying to eliminate something… or someone…
Residents run for their lives as their homes burn…
I hope the residents got out in time…
There goes another one…
A fire of this scale has never been seen in Schulmania before…
The systematic destruction of the defenseless town continues unabated. There are no military outposts anywhere nearby.
The firebugs will see to it nothing is left standing in Wirdlington
The small commercial district is in flames. Destruction is slower due to the stone and brick construction. Soon, only charred rubble will mark where this bucolic farm town once stood.
SCENE 3: BACK IN THE OCCUPIED ZONE
In the offices of Swarm Master General Ollie Chirp-Chirp…
Swarm Master: “Has anyone heard about our swarm? I want answers! And I want them NOW!”
Crony #2: “I will check immediately, your excellency.”
Red Shirt #3: “It will be just a minute or two, sire.”
Swarm Master: “Enough!! Cocoon this rapscallion at once!”
Crony #2: “Sire, I have great news! The swarm has returned! They have laid waste the enemy capital! Victory is at hand!”
Swarm Master: “Excellent! BuggUla will be most pleased.”
SCENE 4: SOMEWHERE IN QUEENSFERRY…
And, at a launch site somewhere in Queensferry, BuggUla gets the word it has been hoping for for two years – that victory is at hand!
<------Click here to see the revolving globe showing Schulmania's visitors!
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