Star Trek Outpost Beta 6

[Schulmanator 5,793]

A limited engagement… I am dusting off the few episodes of this mini-CJ for your amusement and edification. It may possibly inspire me to go back and add some more once I post them all. In the mean time, beam yourself aboard Beta 6!

Star Trek Outpost Beta 6

Update 1: The Prequel

Things between the Klingons and Federation have never been too cozy. Even when there is a peace treaty, the peace is very fragile. In an effort to create galactic stability and prosperity, the Federation and the Klingon High Council have been meeting at Khitomer to discuss new ways to strengthen the alliance. Since the failed attempt at joint colonization at Nimbus III, both sides have been wary. Now, it falls on the crew of the Enterprise to save the conference from disaster.

OK, it’s up to us to save the galaxy… again. Anyone have any bright ideas?

Logically, we should negotiate a settlement with the Klingons. I calculate the odds of success at 1623.772 to 1.

Blast it, Spock!! I have had it with your blasted Vulcan logic!! Diplomacy’s dead, Jim!

I! have! Got! To! Think! Of! An! Idea!

Perhaps, Captain, we could consider a joint colony on a more hospitable planet, such as Schulmanius Prime.

Isn’t! that! Near! The! Neutral! Zone!?

Then, sir, I recommend Beta 6. It is a Class M planet and is not ruled by a rigid felinocracy, as is Schulmanius Prime.

Make it so!

The proposal was sent to the delegates, who had a lively and spirited discussion.

You dishonorable scum! You must now die at my hand!

You are most illogical, Ambassador. Please read section 8 of my proposal…

I must avenge the Empire! I shall send this proposal to Stovo’Qor!

I will now attempt a mind meld… my mind to your mind…. We are becoming one…. I now know what to do to strike a deal…. Sign now and you will get a freighter full of batleths and a case of fresh goQ.

You are a good negotiator. Not much of a warrior, but, what can you say? Can’t be all things to all people.

Once the deal was struck, each side contacted home to begin preparations.

Star Base 163 to Enterprise: prepare to beam over the colonists and supplies.

Beam ‘em up, Scotty!

Warriors! Today is a good day to colonize! Let’s take over Beta 6 and then Beta 3 and 9. Then, on to 12 and 15 and all of the multiples of 3! For the Empire!!!!!!!!!

And, so, the colony on Beta 6 begins…

[NMUSpidey 3,956]

Y'know, I was following you right up to "Make it so!"

Then you lost me. I guess I'll try to find my way back from the far reaches of the humor universe... Wish me luck!

[JanYpe 17]

You are a good negotiator. Not much of a warrior, but, what can you say? Can’t be all things to all people.quote>

Good to see the SHT around again.

[Patricius Maximus 236]

I found it quite amusing. Some of the character's traits were exaggerated, but still not rediculously implausible.

Kirk's speech patterns were almost perfect, but the last piece of dialogue would have been more authentic like this:

Isn’t that! Near! The Neutral Zone?quote>

The delegates' discussion was good, especially the Vulcan delegate mind-melding with the Klingon.

Last but not least, the sudden picture of Picard completed the amusement.

Live Long and Prosper,
Patricius Maximus

[dfnva 34]

Interesting... will look forward to see what happens next. My only off-ball remark is that Kirk should've been part of the treaty negociations so he could say (as William Shatner's counterpart in the Priceline commercials would say), "Nice to Negociate." Or better yet, "I'm Denny Crane!"

-Dan

[patfirefghtr 160]

I think bruce has lost his crackers lol!!! hehehehee good one though and I am sticking around to see what happens to poor ole beta 6

[Schulmanator 5,793]

NMUSpidey We'll beam you aboard!

JanYpe I know! I found the original dozen or so updates of this and Monkey Island sitting in a folder buried n the Schulmania files... thought it would be nice to air them out one more time.

Patricius Maximus Thanks! Glad you liked it.

dfnva The next update will de-cloak soon!

patfirefghtr I only have a few of these from the early 2007 SHT Show... but, if inspired, I may make a few more. And, I will update the ones I have with more current ST members as well.

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

Looks good! i think that a continuation is needed, as the last version ended on a cliffhanger...

And I have detected the cloaked update...

[underwearman2007 0]

*****!?! Picard. Anyway, this is funny. You! Really! Captured! Shatner! In! This! L! O! L!

[panthersimcity4 162]

I never actually watched Star Trek (gasp!) but maybe I'll learn something from this CJ.

I love that inspirational poster

[Schulmanator 5,793]

The Oracle says "check back soon for the next update." Until then, beam me outta here!

[Hester 700]

I'll be here for the next update!!

and step on it!  Been too long.

[anik 14]

LOL!!!!!! Wow! this is hillarious! Bruce you have WAAAY too much time on your hands lol!!

....Wait dont we all? 

[newyorkrunaway1 110]

ummm..... when did the city journal thread turn into an outlet for things not to do with cj's?

just curious, funny none the less...

[Schulmanator 5,793]

Leech10 Indeed, it did. Perhaps a much awaited conclusion is in order?

underwearman2007 Thanks! I! am! glad! youlikeit!

panthersimcity4 Perhaps we can assimilate you into the other ST collective... Star Trek!

Hester Yes, maam!

anik I am recycling first... so this is old time on my hands!

newyorkrunaway1 Methinks the operative word in this update was "prequel". Glad you liked it anyway.

[astronelson 339]

GAAH... You're tantalizing us with talk of a new update... when will the madness end? MADNESS! HAHAHAHAHA...AHHHH!

*shhhhht*

We apologise for the interrupted message. The poster has lost his sanity waiting for an update. Please stand by...

*shhhhht*

Sorry. I'm better now. This is good.

[Craig-Abcvs 1,595]

Originally posted by: astronelson GAAH... You're tantalizing us with talk of a new update... when will the madness end? MADNESS! HAHAHAHAHA...AHHHH!

*shhhhht*

We apologise for the interrupted message. The poster has lost his sanity waiting for an update. Please stand by...

*shhhhht*

Sorry. I'm better now. This is good.quote>

 

Please...  I think the word you are looking for is poo. 

Schulmanator - carry on.

[newyorkrunaway1 110]

i think he was trying to make the effect of static on a tv or radio... lol

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

*khhhhhhht*

There seems to be some sort of spacial anomaly...

*khhhhhhht*

its disrupting update tracking and communi...

*khhhhhhht*

Ah, reversing the polarity of the comm signal seems to have fixed things. Still can't see the update, though.

[NMUSpidey 3,956]

I'm still waiting to be beamed somewhere. Anywhere, really.

And I love potatoes, darn it! Mashed, sliced and fried, scalloped, added to curry or stew, anything. I simply do not agree that potatoes make you stupid. Arugula, maybe, eggplant, sure, but not potatoes.

[jacqulina 162]

lol very good bruce

[Twenty20 28]

wow, excellent ! I love Star Trek ! I hope that "Q" (my favourite character) will appears soon in this adventure.

[astronelson 339]

Apologies, that was meant to be static.

[Tomasneto 20]

Great idea... I adore Star Trek too... Maybe I create a mini-CJ about Futurama... huhauhauhaua

[Hester 700]

OH NO!!! I have encountered a quantum singularity!

[Schulmanator 5,793]

BTW, before I post the next update, a question: several ST members referenced in the original version are no longer active. Do you want me to post the updates as is or update with currently active ST members? And, if you want updating, tell me if you, yourself, want to be a character.

Live long and prosper!

[Lyhoko Leaci 770]

I say that it should be updated with current members, and I do want to be a character. (Or you could include someone like Brad, Brian, Lauren...)

Edit: Pesky transporter accident...

[Craig-Abcvs 1,595]

Originally posted by: astronelson Apologies, that was meant to be static.quote>

 

Static?   Well I'll be an honourary monkey's uncle...

[Hester 700]

Indeed Nursinator..you are! ;-)

[NMUSpidey 3,956]

Does that mean that I get to play to? I'd love to be a character. Some say I already am...