Thinking of Moving?

[SamFlash 0]

Sometimes we come face to face with the fact that it may be time to relocate. The big question is: where to? Here are some tips.

You can live in Phoenix, (AZ) where:

1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.

2. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.

4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.

5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.

6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can Live in California, where...

1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.

2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.

5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.

You can Live in New York City, where...

1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.

2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.

3. You think Central Park is "nature,"

4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.

5. You've worn out a car horn.

6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.

You can Live in Maine,where...

1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.

2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.

3. You have more than one recipe for moose.

4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.

5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.

You can Live in the Deep South, where:

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.

2. "y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.

3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Bobbie Jean, etc.

You can live in Colorado, where:

1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.

2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.

3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.

4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.

You can live in the Midwest, where:

1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.

2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.

3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.

4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"

5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"

AND You can live in Florida, where:

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.

2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.

3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.

4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.

Add your own..............

[BlondeTwiggy 43]

These are funny!  I don't have any to add, but unfortunately everything was true about the place where I live.  lol

[Joesocwork 4]

DC to come... and I promise these will probably come fr my own stereotypes!

----

Wait! why did I just make another silly commitment for?!

[koffee 0]

You can live in AK, where:

 

1. Summer days are long - in some places 24 hours, but winter days can be cold and very dark.

2. You can become involved in many outdoor activities and sport.  Outside is anywhere outside Alaska.

3. The biggest sporting event is the Iditarod, athough the Yukon Quest is considered by many mushers to be tougher.

4. The biggest betting (lottery) event is the Nenana Ice Classic.  And no, it is not a sport.

5. There is a good chance you will probably meet /know someone that has had to start a fire under their vehicle in order to defrost and start it.

[SamFlash 0]

Originally posted by: koffee You can live in AK, where:

 

1. Summer days are long - in some places 24 hours, but winter days can be cold and very dark.

2. You can become involved in many outdoor activities and sport.  Outside is anywhere outside Alaska.

3. The biggest sporting event is the Iditarod, athough the Yukon Quest is considered by many mushers to be tougher.

4. The biggest betting (lottery) event is the Nenana Ice Classic.  And no, it is not a sport.

5. There is a good chance you will probably meet /know someone that has had to start a fire under their vehicle in order to defrost and start it.

quote>

 

Pretty funny especially number 5.

[Joesocwork 4]

Okay this was doable afterall...

You can live in Washington, DC, where:

 >>

1) It is the nation’s capitol… for lobbyists, policemen, associations, college interns, attorneys, and false alarms.

2) There are more fans of the dreaded NFL archrival Dallas Cowboys here than there are in Texas!

3) Their singles ratio is supposedly 8 women to 1 man, but it is almost always 8 men to 1 women in all the area singles events.

4) The right lane is the slow lane and the left lane is the passing lane…

...IN THE SUBWAY ESCALATORS!!!

5) All four seasons are very beautiful, vibrant, and multi-hued but the unofficial color of the city is gray.

6) The “dog days” of summer are ironically the one time of the year that the congressmen are out of town.>>

----

Update: I actually read this to my wife to show off.  After I was forced to explain to her how I knew reason #3  ,  she added, 

#7) Families can make $100k and due to the cost of housing and transportation still struggle to make it. ( I suspect people in the Midwest think Bill Gates makes $100k.)

[A Nonny Moose 8,262]

You can live in Toronto where:

1. You can speak any language except English and French

2. You can read signs in Chinese, Japanese and other Eastern Character Sets

3. You live in the west end so you can drive into the sun going and coming home from work

4.  You wear a bullet proof vest at all times

5.  You love hockey and will wait until next year.

[sloppet 3]

You can Live in Des Moines, IOWA where:

1. There is absolutly nothing, some graveyards...

2. SliPKnoT is GOD...

3. That's all....

[cityhawk 12]

Originally posted by: SamFlash

You can Live in the Deep South, where:

5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Bobbie Jean, etc.

quote>

I don't agree with that one, but the rest is true.

[hamsterTK 93]

1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.quote>

lol. my old town had a store like that.

You can live in Texas where:

1. Any given town will have on average 5 bbq joints and 14 mexican restaraunts but never a clean bathroom

2. You can drive down the highway in your hummer and feel small.

3.  You actually think Austin is weird

4.  No Habla Espanol?

5.  Your deer lease is more expensive than your house.

6. You are used to seeing signs like "Houston-46 miles. El Paso-837 miles"

7. You are sick of people from other places who pour mounds of nasty jalapenos on everything and call it authentic tex-mex/bbq/etc

8. Your county has more deer than people

[SamFlash 0]

Great to see some additions to my original post.  All we need now is for some of you living in other parts of the world to contibute something about where you live.  Thanks N_O_Body for adding something about Canada.

[hummer0328 6]

You can live in Wyoming where:

1.  Anything not 5000 feet tall is considered a hill

2.  The wind blows and blows and blows and then blows some more

3.  The "Big City" has 50,000 people

4.  You can see the Bighorn Mountains from Casper (a distance of 150 miles).

5.  There is enough coal to supply the world for the next 100 years

6.  A kid straight out of high school and no college can make $70,000 a year

7.  There are 5 guns for every person

[koffee 0]

I just noticed that "Deep South" is missing number 4. So I'll add one...

As someone from the Deep South once told me:

4. The most common last words are, "Hey, watch this."

[callagrafx 3]

3. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.quote>

I damn near wet myself with that one...thanks for brightening up my day Sam.

Edit: Can one of the moderators post a list of unacceptable words (but not the Quaker guy who edited this post).

[Fischbob 9]

You can live in Saint John, New Brunswick, where:

1. It's always too cold, too hot, or foggy. Mostly foggy.

2. Half the economy is owned by the Irving family.
3. Every other business is either closing down or relocating to Moncton.
4. All the signs are bilingual, but nobody actually speaks French.
5. The river is afraid of the harbour's water quality and consequently flows upstream sometimes.

[SamFlash 0]

5. The river is afraid of the harbour's water quality and consequently flows upstream sometimes.

 

Pretty funny

[Duke87 1,070]

-a few good laughs there.

-Text is too big!!!! Normal size is just fine, you know.

-Callagrafx: It is always okay to say "damn" here, except if you put a "god" in front of it. Then you can sometimes get away with it, sometimes not, depending on the context, the local moderators, the current humidity, the phase of the moon, and several other unidentified factors.

-Adding my own, why not?:

You can live in Connecticut, where:

1) You either are well off or poor, but rarely anything in between.

2) It's nice, well kept, and beautiful everywhere... except in the cities, where it's dilapidated, decayed, and crime-ridden.

3) A politician being revealed to be corrupt or a criminal is minor news

4) There are towns and neighborhoods that consider themselves seperate from the rest of the state.

5) It says "Constitution State" on the liscence plates, but no one knows why.

You can live in Massachussets, where:

1) You are taught from birth to add the words "this applies to everyone but me" in your mind to all traffic signs and rules.

2) There are two ends of the political spectrum: mildly liberal and radically liberal.

3) if you don't like the current weather, you can just wait and it's bound to change within the hour.

You can live in New Jersey, where:

1) You can identify where in the state you live with just an exit number.

2) Oil stains and litter don't bother anyone

3) Nobody ever says the state's full name, it's just "Joisey".

4) The Jersey shore is an exotic vacation.

5) You have the only plates on your car, other than New York ones, that you can take into NYC without fear of being taken advantage of.

6) If you're looking for a place to buy something, you can just drive along route 1 or route 17, and you're bound to find something within a few miles... but there's a 50/50 chance you'l have to make a U-turn to get to it.

7) The ultimate honor is having a service area named after you.

You can live in Philadelphia, where:

1) Being a fan of an out of town sports team is considered a mortal sin.

2) The rest of Pennsylvania is way too different to comprehend without seeing it.

You can live in Rhode Island, where:

1) everything in the state is within 10 minutes away

2) It's called "The Ocean State", but it doesn't touch the ocean, just Block Island Sound

3) Everyone is sick of being asked "So why is it called Rhode Island when it's not an island?"

You can live in Naples (Italy), where:

1) Slashing people's tires and then swindling them is an honest career.

2) People elesewhere in the country say "Got to Naples" instead of "Go to Hell"

3) The mob is the de facto government.

[cityhawk 12]

Duke87: Those are some good ones. I might put something up about where I live if it weren't for the Deep South category that's already been stated.

[Meg 368]

I’m enjoying this thread but wondering why only Americans and Canadians are playing.

Joe made a list for Washington, DC so I’ll make a list for Maryland:

You could live in Maryland where:

1. Over 20% of the state is water and most of the land areas are close to water.
2. If you start in the right place, you can walk from Pennsylvania, through Maryland, and into West Virginia in less time than it takes to watch a half hour TV show.
3. The temperature can reach over 100 F in the summer and below 0 F in the winter.
4. The only tobacco growers left are Amish.
5. It’s not unusual to see wild bamboo growing at the side of the road.

[hym 358]

SkiGeek, those are pretty good (especially since I can verify four of those to be correct from the one time I've been on the East Coast).

Anyway, since SkiGeek and Joesocwork have joined in this, I'll have to figure out some for Houston (or maybe add hamster's list of ones for Texas).

[hamsterTK 93]

Anyway, since SkiGeek and Joesocwork have joined in this, I'll have to figure out some for Houston (or maybe add hamster's list of ones for Texas).quote>

your from houston... lol. how many we got around here? im just up the road in college station.

...and a houston list would be funny

[hym 358]

Here is my list that I promised...it's a list of cities in Texas.  Enjoy.

1.Amarillo--only city that gets 100 degree weather in the summer and snowfall in the winter.

2.Dallas--you can get lost even with GPS navigation.

3.Austin--loses 10% of its population in the summer and experiences a 50% decrease in traffic congestion at the same time.

4.Houston--every business is required to have a hitching post in front of the store.

5.Galveston--known to grow mosquitos so big that they actually have killed large dogs.

[Joesocwork 4]

No Duke. The one set of words is NEVER acceptable and the other word is HIGHLY discouraged.

[thatmonkeysim 8]

You Could Live in Charlotte, NC where:

1.You can drive to 6 blocks on 1 road yet have driven on 6 different street names

2.God sends a bus to where you live once every 1000 years

3.Rush Hour is called Parking Hour

4.You can walk from one Chick-fil-a to another across the street

5.Everyone around you has either raced or is connected to a racer

6.Where people complain its too cold when its 60 yet its too hot at 61

7.If you see a snowflake you go into a panic and crash into the closest thing to you

8.Everyone has a pool in their Neighborhood. Though its 2 miles from your House/Apartment

9.You go into a Subdivision and never find your way out

10.Highway construction is a "when we get to it we get to it" thing

11.You can complain that it took you 200 dollars to fill up your 5 million dollar yacht and then get a discount

12.It takes you 2 hours to get across town

ill think of more later

[Yellowlab 11]

You could live in Roanoke, Virginia, where:

1.  The grocery stores are cleared and school is cancelled out if snow is forecast within the next 4 months.

2.  Your city government has spent $51 million since 1994 on studies on whether to spend $12 million to renovate the stadium or tear it down.

3.  The river floods when someone turns on their sprinkler.

4.  You can walk to the train tracks and 15,000 of your fellow citizens are employed by the railroad, yet you can't ride Amtrak because you have no passenger rail service.

5.  You got really excited when you found out Starbucks was coming to town (2006).

6.  You got even more excited when you found out Target was coming (1998?)

7.  You actually went to "Singles Night" at one of our Wal-Marts (we have 6)...for 200,000 people.

8.  You stop your car so that pedestrians one block away can cross the street unimpeded.

9.  You hold the door for people who are a block away but coming fast...or not so fast...

[SamFlash 0]

thatmonkeysim - #7 is a classic. 

Yellowlab - Your #2 is probably true of many places across America where politicians think our tax money is their money.

Thanks for the wonderful contributions, one and all.  Let's keep them coming and I'm with SkiGeek on this.  Where is the rest of the world?  Surely there must be quirks about the city you live in that only those that live there know about.  Everyplace has them.

[thatmonkeysim 8]

well 7 is the truth around here lol

[hamsterTK 93]

ive been to roanoke. Yellowlabs #7:rofl. 6 walmarts in that town? bleh...

[Voar Tok 4]

2) There are more fans of the dreaded NFL archrival Dallas Cowboys here than there are in Texas!quote>

That's cause we shipped them all to you guys.

I have one for your Texas list hamsterTK. I had to contribute somehow.

Dark skies are not necessarily indicative of rain. It could easily be a horde of mosquitoes blocking out the sun.

EDIT: Why do I feel that Ski might get out her rolling pin after finding out why there are so many Cowboys fans in the DC area.

[Praetorian Cohort 0]

Lol, those Phoenix ones are all true, especially number 1!

Parking in shade allows you to get in your car without waiting a few minutes for the A/C to cool it to a reasonable temperature.