Queensferry: Not Feeling The Love

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Entry posted by Schulmanator · May 2, 2010

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Shown below is the latest update of Queensferry. Since it references Schulmania (and not kindly, either!) it is included here for your reference. The Queensferry thread is found here.

Chapter 12: Not Feeling The Love

Queensferry is a nation built on love. The all-encompassing love of BuggUla for all of its subjects. To know BuggUla is to love BuggUla. All who know BuggUla, love BuggUla. Those who do not know BuggUla, love us from afar. But, there are some who do not seem to be fully in the thrall of love with Queensferry. Who are these poor, deluded souls and what can we do to help them? All good questions. Today, we will provide some much-needed information in case you know of someone whose loyalty to Queensferry is wavering. And, remember to call the toll-free hotline anytime you suspect disloyalty, 800-2KILL-EM. Anyone not loyal to Queensferry doesn't deserve to live, do they? Not us, though. We are completely loyal. Our love for Queensferry is almost as deep as BuggUla's love for us. Now, take a deep breath and savor the smell of money being made. And, as you exhale, repeat after me: "Death to all! All hail Queensferry! Death to all! All hail BuggUla." Ah, now wasn't that refreshing?

Today, a Media Manipulation Specialist (MMS) From QueensMedia Group is here to dispel a scurrilous rumor that our prisons for enemies of the state are in disrepair and that our military is not up to the challenge of defeating the dread feline threat to the west. Perhaps you have seen or heard rumors by our lethal and misguided enemies about weakness? Our media guide, Mr. Lyre, will refute these assertions. Afterwards, anyone who remains unconvinced will be rounded up and sent to an Infestation Center for treatment. So, without further ado, here's Mr. Lyre.

Hello, folks! It's me, Mr. Lyre, here with important news about the war effort. First, let me tell you that we have the most secure facilities on the planet for housing war criminals. You have nothing to fear - no feline will escape our sinister clutches. Wicked propagandists from our soon-to-be-defeated enemy have asserted that escape is possible for those treacherous detainees. Let's show just how wrong that assertion is.

As you can tell, the invasion force captured off of our shores is still securely held. We have recently increased security by replacing the guards with paramilitary fleas. We have assigned four battalions to guard this disruptive group.

Why, the very idea of a facility such as this being less than impregnable merits a hearty laugh. Queensferry is undefeatable and will remain so forever. Death to all! Long live BuggUla! Death to all! All hail Queensferry!

We assure you that you have nothing to fear. You may go about your daily routine secure in the knowledge that we are always watching. Always.

Another lie we wish to refute is the assertion that Queensferry is not popular amongst other nations. We deny that and can point to many subjugated neighbors whose surviving citizens can attest to their deep and profound love of Queensferry and their gratitude to be part of BuggUla's benevolent dominion. As the deep, radiant love radiates outwards from BuggUla and across Queensferry and to the world, nations far and wide have come to march under the banner of Queensferry, seeking a better way - the Queensferry way.

Perhaps the best evidence for Queensferry's enduring and ever-growing popularity is the dramatic win for Queensferry's own Grassy Hopper in the most recent season of Dancing With The Stars, just concluded on television.

When presented with her mirrored disco ball trophy, Miss Hopper's acceptance speech said it better than anyone here at QueensMedia can: "Thank you so much! I love you all! And that comes from the heart... the heart of Queensferry. This one is for you, BuggUla- all hail BuggUla! Love live Queensferry! Death to all!" Such a stirring speech really filled our hearts here with love as well. Doctor Scarab, head of the Exoskeletal Surgical Unit at QueensMed South, doubled everyone's dose of Oil of Onimay to celebrate the triumph! Way to go, Grassy. And, way to go Dr. Scarab. Now, what's not to love?

So, as you go about shopping in fine Queensferry establishments like Fashion Bugg or dining at Thorax, let your exoskeleton swell with pride. Subjugation by Queensferry makes you a part of the most powerful, most loved nation on earth. And, that warm, tingling feel you get from the Onimay champagne is the love of BuggUla. Submit to it today.