The Land Grab - The Founding and Settling of Grant County

Grant County was founded in Eighteen Aught Neuf by this man:

No one has any idea of his name, but who the hell cares? The lands that make up Grant County and the surrounding areas were acquired after a tax assessor undervalued the lands and they were exchanged by the federal government for seventeen butter churns and a three-legged ox. People were slow to move in, mostly due to the area's reputation for being cursed, but due even more to the area's reputation for reeking of overripe cheese. The valiant efforts of the Army to populate the whole area with wild herds of buffalo and cattle did a lot to help counter the cheese smell. Though the area soon had a bad odor of cow dung, most people agreed that was better since they were used to it already.

Above: A Land Sale Advertising Poster for Grant County. Not to be confused
for any other similar poster...
This change in aromatic conditions paved the way for what allowed the greater Grant County area to be established. The Union Specific Rail Road and Locomotive Mechanism Company of St. Cloud acquired the whole of Grant County by claiming improvements under the Homestead Act by setting up wooden outhouses every half-mile. In a bid to pay off past-due bonds used to buy a whiskey fountain, the Union Specific Rail Road concocted a brilliant scheme to dispose of the excess lands in the area. They told people that the lands in the area were ripe and ready for farming, guaranteed to yield bumper crops of sorghum, hemp and a rare spice called "Cat's Breath."

Above: Farm fields in Grant County
The plan worked perfectly, and it wasn't long before farmers, crotchety ex-prospectors and other people sick of city life were moving in by the droves. Lots were divvied up into squares and then further divvied up into smaller rectangles. Rectangles are easier to fence off; it saves the taxpayers' money. In less than two years the land had been settled, the Union Specific Rail Road made their money back and vacancies for corrupt political offices had been filled.

The focal point of this settlement was the intersection of the Union Specific's Up-by-Northeast and In-the-Approximate-Direction-of-Omaha Lines, on the banks of the Blue River. This settlement was first named Blue River City, but later changed to Centropolis owing to it's location at the geographic center of Grant County. How this coincidence occurred is attributed both to Semi-Intelligent Design and to extreme xenophobia of other county's residents. Simple services such as horse manure pickup, blacksmithery and gun "re-ammo-ing" were available in the town.


Other villages along the river and railroad lines were settled, such as East Point shown above. East Point was founded as a waystation for people going to better places. Seeing as how this is supposed to take place in the early- to mid-ninteenth century, it's interesting to note the asphalt-paved roads and fairly modern looking buildings. Even more amazing is that aerial photos of the region exist at all, but it's best not to hurt your brain over it too much.

Low-density infill growth continued until most of Grant County had been dedicated to farming. A few unsettled patches of land were left open to cattle, deer and lion grazing, probably for asthetic reasons. After the tumultuous settlement years, the population of Grant County leveled off to about 25,000, dropping off only briefly during the great Stink-Bomb Re-Gifting Affair of Summer 1868. By then, Centropolis had become quite a bustling little burg, replete with paved roads, a passenger rail platform and more services like Town Marshal and Fire Station.
Pictured below is the outskirts of Centropolis during its early days, showing some smaller farm homesteads and the asbestos re-threading plant.

By the time the first wave of rampant land speculation moved further west, Grant County had made a name for itself. Shown below is an aero-blimp photo of Grant County taken when the population was near 30,000 souls.

Click Here to view a larger version of the above image
However more growth and challenges were yet to remain for this new region and for the oft-clueless yet well-meaning residents who called it home. But those are all reserved for other two-week-past-due updates. So with that, I shall close this update with an apt phrase: "Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it." Good night (or day) and thanks for looking!
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