Obituary of the late Mr Common Sense

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

Why the early bird gets the worm;

Life isn’t always fair; and

Maybe it was my fault.

Common sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His heath began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place, such as:

reports of a 6-years-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, 

and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

He lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

He lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband, churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

He took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

He finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to recognise that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion, his daughter Responsibility and his son Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realised he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority, and do nothing.

---

From my e-mail friend in Wasaga Beach.

[LivingInThePast 364]

True dat. Well written.

[Firebird 40]

Very well written.

Hopefully someday, if enough people have come to notice, we can help him rise from the ashes of his stepbrothers.

[octaves 4]

Lol, it makes PERFECT sense.  I wonder if they can rebuild him...

[Explodingsims 3]

Amen...Sadly, this is the truth in America, and no one is doing anything to reverse it.

Hopefully, one day, he can be revived and regain his will to live...

(He was cryogenicly frozen, right?)

[purpledaddy 6]

"And now you know... the.. reeeeest of the story!" 

Well it kind of looks like something Paul Harvey would read.

[hamsterTK 93]

Common sense means different things to different people

I think its interesting. This one comes from an obviously conservative stance. They also make ones with a liberal slant too.

Im not mocking it, I agree with a lot of points, but then who doesnt? They are always so ridiculous and illogical. But then again, does this mean there is an epidemic of ridiculous legal incidents? Or has it actually always been that?

[Barbarossa 51]

HamsterTK is totally on-the-ball. This was obviously written by a conservative.

Personally, I thought Mr Common Sense died around 1980, when the US voted an actor into office...

Barbarossa

[Bookworm 1]

Very, very funny... but still quite sad. And true.

I don't know though, I think Common Sense also had a big brother, Dr. Obvious, who died when an article saying that smoking had the possiblity of being dangerous made headline news.

[Cob92 360]

All too true.

[Odainsaker 2,133]

And all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together again. We shouldn't be surprised, for the current Administration deliberately pushed him off that wall in the first place.

And we're all still walking on the egg shells.

[MsD 0]

I morn for those who did not realize that he had passed.

[rodent1989 9]

it says to "pass it on" so its ok if I copy this then?

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

Yes, copy and pass all you like.  I got it as an e-mail.

[_MostlyHarmless 17]

HAha, at first I thought you were talking about Common (the rapper)...I was like "what!?"