The Times of Troix for Monday, July 11, 2011
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TROIX SIGNS DELEGATION DEAL
THE DELEGATION OF SCHULMANIA
FORTILLA (CiX Interactive) -- The Government of Troix has signed a delegation deal by the Kingdom of Schulmanicus and its dependent states, according to the Chief Ambassador Alex Montague yesterday. The deal came 2 days after the bombing of Major Schulmania Cities by Queensferry Infiltrators. The Government is also reporting that ties between the Federal Government of Troix and the Queensferry Union will be severed and the Queensferry Embassy in Fortilla and the Sanese Embassy at Queensferry will be closing. The government also indicated the eviction of the so called 'happiness ambassadors' and the removal of rights on all Queensferry Residents and the right of all Sanese Citizens to use Raid! Bug Sprays.
In an interview yesterday, President Alexandre Degraff indicated that the attack on Schulmania citizens is absurd and against the Law of Peace signed by all countries in Simtropolis. "If it is for terrorism, it is unacceptable", President Degraff said yesterday. "If they want terrorism, then we'll fight them back with terrorism." Tadagutsu Jobei, on the other hand is very cautious on Queensferry. "Queensferry is a very strong Superpower, this country must be very cautious on what it says on Queensferry."
Admiral Tadaktsu Matsumoto has issued an attention alert as Troix is preparing for an apparent invasion. "It is time", he said, pointing out tho the Queensferry, "to be prepared for an apparent invasion of Troix and its cities.
QUEENSFERRY RESPONDS
Fortilla -- Queensferry has officially responded yesterday in the comments section: Here is what Queensferry has to Say:
"All hail victory! Death to all who oppose Queensferry. Joining the glorious realm of BuggUla is bliss. There is no freedom outside of the hive. There is no happiness without BuggUla. There is no life without Queensferry. Those who have not joined us are against us and are our enemies. Death to our enemies! All hail Queensferry! But, we love all and want all to know the joy of life under the benevolent rule of BuggUla. That is why we spread our message of love and joy to all. We love you! Any opposition to our conquests is based on weakness and misunderstandings. But because we are a nation built on love, we send Happiness Ambassadors to visit our friends around the globe and share with them the greatness of BuggUla, Once they have been exposed to our glorious nation and its greatness, few resist.
Perhaps your readers need the chance to get to know us better. Care to join us for a slice of Uncle John's famous homemade seven layer "apple" cake so that we can discuss your concerns?
Remember, WE LOVE YOU!!!!
Love,
Lt. Gen. Marty McFly
Queensferry Love Brigade 1705
Happiness Ambassador Corps III
Warpath Satrapy Occupation Force"
THE TIMES OF TROIX NEEDS EDITORS
The Times of Troix is still facing tough issues regarding editors because only one person is doing the job the right now. The Times needs editors today. All applications must be sent to 111222333444's Personal Message Box or this newspaper will suffer delays and hassles. We want to continue the publishing power and the duration of one of Simtropolis' first ever newspapers published daily.
OWL LEAVES IMPRINT ON WINDOW
KENDAL, UK (BBC) -- A Kendal woman is surprised to see that one of her windows has a smudge in it. But when she came closer to the window, it became much clearer that this is no smudge. It is a silhouette of an owl. Experts believe that the owl silhouette was made out of the birds 'powder down', which is a substance for creating feathers. The bird escaped injury and the window smash is harmless. The bird was not found yet.
Alejandro24
Where did you get the news? Or how do you report? Do you watch every single CJ or how does it work? Its because this is great!!!!!
Schulmanator
Nicely done! I am impressed. And I will subscribe. here's my fee in advance for a subscription:
[photo of a bill]
BTW, for nations without diplomatic relations with Schulmania, their point of contact would be the Bureau of Feline Affairs office in their home country, or the Consular Castle in Friendsville. Also, your readers will be pleased to know that Governor Cawale is recovering well. She still can't get around, what with 3 injured paws and all, but she did tap out an upbeat message using one of our latest inventions:
[photo of a Morse Phone]
It ain't easy to do with one paw, but she said she's doing better and can't wait to be back on her windowsill watching birds in no time. And then... Queensferry would be well served to remember a saying from our allies, the Klingons, "Revenge is a dish best served cold."
BuggUla
[animation of the Queensferry Union Flag]
The official response by the Queensferry Union is:
All hail victory! Death to all who oppose Queensferry. Joining the glorious realm of BuggUla is bliss. There is no freedom outside of the hive. There is no happiness without BuggUla. There is no life without Queensferry. Those who have not joined us are against us and are our enemies. Death to our enemies! All hail Queensferry! But, we love all and want all to know the joy of life under the benevolent rule of BuggUla. That is why we spread our message of love and joy to all. We love you! Any opposition to our conquests is based on weakness and misunderstandings. But because we are a nation built on love, we send Happiness Ambassadors to visit our friends around the globe and share with them the greatness of BuggUla, Once they have been exposed to our glorious nation and its greatness, few resist.
[photo of a bee with child]
Perhaps your readers need the chance to get to know us better. Care to join us for a slice of Uncle John's famous homemade seven layer "apple" cake so that we can discuss your concerns?
[photo of a seven layer 'apple' cake]
Remember, WE LOVE YOU!!!!
Love,
Lt. Gen. Marty McFly
Queensferry Love Brigade 1705
Happiness Ambassador Corps III
Warpath Satrapy Occupation Force
Alejandro24, Thank You... I thank you so much that I'll hire you as the Primary Journalist. Just comment below.
Schulmanator, XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (Very Sensitive Information to be seen publicly, 3-7)
BuggUla, Thank you for responding. I hope I'll interview you someday, with the seven layer 'apple' cake.
From the Chief Editor
Thank you for reading the Times of Troix Today. Today had been a very hectic day for the Sanese Government, which was pressured by the two sides, Queensferry and Schulmania. The Government has found out if they have to strengthen one, they have to sever another. However, today, the government has announced to sever ties with Queensferry. Is the government making the wrong choice, or is the government made the right decision to join the Schulmania Alliance.
I still need reporters and Editors, just PM Carl.
Your numeric Friend,
Carl
Click on the Link above!
ADVERTISE HERE NOW
PM Carl
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On the final note:
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