a reflection on the past 3 years.

[The Terminator 0]

well, i know this isint done often here but i feel i need some help. please dont delete i really need some help.

I am in my second quarter of my Freshman Year in high school. and i am doing terrible. I failed some classes, and i am the only reason to blame. I went through half of this year with a huge apathy. I realise that all of these 4 years will determine weither i go to college or not, so my prospective future(wich ill never have) looks very bleak right tnow. I feel as if i know the solution, but i dont want to take any action to break my cycle of apathy, but i dont want to do it, due to my desire to rage against the machine. i realise now i must change this.

 

It all started in 7th grade. my workload had tremendousley increased, and i realised i couldent just do nothing and get A's like i did in 6th grade. so i joined this site, to Escape reality. now i am a 1000+ poster and my apathy hsa increased, an dmy slump went further downhill, and i am back in the cycle.

 

I am not leaving this site completley, but i will greatly reduce my time here and on other internet places.

 

i feel as if im emotionally dead, and my soul is fued to the bone. and i am just living my life with no determination. I must break this cycle. so i am going to look, and find out who i really am, while improving my self esteam, and my academic performance.

 

can any of you give me help me aloung this process, i feel as if i have few places to turn, and since this is a community, we could all help each other out.

 

-Thank you

 

 

[Meg 368]

Wow. It's good that you are seeing this now, instead of a few years from now. The earlier you decided to do something about it, the easier to turn it around.

I think one of the most telling parts of what you said is:

It all started in 7th grade. my workload had tremendousley increased, and i realised i couldent just do nothing and get A's like i did in 6th grade.

quote>

If you could do nothing and get As, at any stage, the odds are good that you are fairly bright. You have talents and abilities. It's a matter of channeling your energy into something productive that will serve you well in the future.

 

The other telling part is:

 

but i dont want to take any action to break my cycle of apathy, but i dont want to do it, due to my desire to 'rage against the machine'. i realise now i must change this.

quote>

Believe it or not, I do understand the desire to 'rage against the machine'.  When I was a kid in the 60s, it was our duty to question authority.  However, rage and apathy will not get you anywhere that you want to be.  There are constructive ways of going about it.

I have a question for you: is your school doing any kind of aptitude testing and career counseling?  I have been very impressed with the program at the local high school here.  The freshman (not the seniors, the freshman) are all given various aptitude tests which indicate their likely career cluster.

About a month ago, the 14 year old nearest and dearest to my heart (no offense, cyber-kids) proudly showed me a pencil that listed his career cluster: Engineering, Mechanical and Information Technologies.  He is psyched because his desire to go into architecture has been bolstered by a confirmed aptitude for it and he sees a place where he can fit in.  And it isn't a cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all thing; it's tailored to him and his aptitudes.  The guy sitting next to him in English class probably has a different career cluster.

It

[A Nonny Moose 8,262]

TT: What are you good at? Where are your talents? You seemed pretty upbeat and inventive when you were working at the Factory. Is that when your world went away? You disappeared and a lot of people missed you.

Talk, and we'll try and find you again. You used to be a good ol' bus, so now we have to reinflate your ego and get you on a track where you feel good about yourself.

Are you still listening to all that negative metal music? Find something lighter. Rock is changing and has left that goth stuff in the gutter. You should watch the latests Kia commercial on how to cheer up a goth band.

[Duke87 1,070]

Okay, well, the big question here about school is:

Are you actually having trouble understanding the material being taught or just not trying?

 

I will agree that some of the things you have to do in high school are a bit rediculous. But you just gotta do 'em. You can, however complain as much as you want about it with me or your friends.

[ginchael 1]

As a person who has now gone through most of the four years of high school, I just have to say: Apathy is easy. Caring about something is hard.

You're an intelligent guy, and you are seeing immediately the difference between American Middle and High Schools--most kids (including myself) don't see the difference for a couple of years. Make sure to keep those grades up to get into a good college...and just remember that high school is just another step in the road, and it'll be gone before you know it.

Remember also: I know you live in the NY suburbs (also like me). Don't get caught up in the drama or whatever. Nobody will care about how you dress, act, talk, etc. as soon as you are out. Hell, by the end of the year, no one will care how you acted in Middle School.

Just don't get TOO depressed, man. You'll do great!