Thought For The Day

[hym 358]

As some of you may know, I am working for an engineering and construction firm this summer. I have started developing a reputation for sharing "profound truths" about life and the professional world. In reality, many are nothing more than amusing observations about human life, or are statements that seem to be true, even though there is no rational reason that they should be true.

I thought it would be fun to have a place where people could share their humorous phrases about the oddities and ironies of daily life and work. I'll kick off the thread of with 4 of my own:

1. Despite widespread complaints about the high cost of living, it remains one of America's most popular activities.
   
2. Principle of Fact/Theory Congruence: If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be discarded. If the theory stands in your way, it too, must be discarded.
   
3. There exists an inverse relationship between one's responsibility for failure and the amount of blame received for it.
   
4. How To Get That Big Promotion: Great risk begets great reward, and greater risk begets greater reward. Therefore, the faster one drives the company into financial destruction, the faster one rises into upper management.
   

[Meg 368]

A wise man makes his own decisions, an ignorant man follows the public opinion.

[astronelson 339]

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.

[Duke87 1,070]

A line I find myself using at work more often than I'd like:

There are a lot of "should"s in this world. But "should be" is a long way from "is".

[Easy Bakes 253]

I heard a misquote on the radio this morning i found amusing.

"Were theres Smoke theres Mirrors"

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

I heard a misquote on the radio this morning i found amusing.

"Were there's Smoke there's Mirrors"

Love that one, but do watch those enclitic elisions.

One of the best is the tag line of my signature: "We have met the enemy and he is us" - Pogo Possum by Walt Kelly.

One of the aphorisms you hear in sales organizations is "I know you have done a lot, but what have you done for us lately?" This is often a warning of possible hierarchical exfoliation.

And then there's "Heads roll up hill".

[astronelson 339]

I refuse to believe people who work with numbers all day are unimaginative. There are some very creative accountants out there.

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

I refuse to believe people who work with numbers all day are unimaginative. There are some very creative accountants out there.

You mean "Figures don't lie, but liars figure"?

  Edited July 7, 2011 by A Nonny Moose  

[Zeth 23]

I have no original thoughts to contribute--I don't believe I've ever had a profound original thought in my life but I'll let you know if I remember one--but I will share this wisdom someone came up with long ago:

A woman has a close male friend. This means he is interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This is like a guy going for a job interview and the company saying, you have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we're looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

^ Precious.

Let's see if I can get this right.

"I know you think that what I said was what I meant, but you have to understand that what I said was not what I meant."

"These facts are now inoperative" Richard Nixon

[astronelson 339]

That reminds me of this, from Donald Rumsfeld, "There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."

Science tries to make the unknown unknowns known unknowns and the known unknowns known knowns. Making the known knowns known unknowns and the known unknowns unknown unknowns is the job of bureaucracy.

To the ex-Secretary's list I would like to add the unknown knowns: the things we don't know we know. Dealing with these pays millions of psychologists worldwide.

On a slightly more serious note, ex-Secretary Rumsfeld had it quite right, and it is very frustrating to have a nice set of data with error bars, none of which can be right at the same time as most of the others. That's where the unknown unknowns get you - right in the plot.

[Merlin of Flyote 8]

^ Precious.

Let's see if I can get this right.

"I know you think that what I said was what I meant, but you have to understand that what I said was not what I meant."

Should this not be:-

"I know you think that what I said was what I meant, but you have to understand that what I meant is not what I said".

Here's one from me:-

Never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.

  Edited July 22, 2011 by Merlin of Flyote  

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

Foot soldier's creed:

Never walk when you can ride

Never stand up when you can sit

Never sit when you can lie down

Never be awake when you can sleep.

Cadence:

The captain rides in a jeep

The sergeant rides in a truck

The general rides in a limousine

But we're just out of luck.

Sound off ...

[Dqfn13 20]

My sister tought me this one: the only thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Now think about that one.

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

My sister tought me this one: the only thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Now think about that one.

That is the last line of a song called "Nature Boy". It is true by my own experience.

Live each day like it was your last.

[airman15 4,112]

I just finished watching the movie the Big Lebowski and a quote from the Stranger (Sam Elliot) will really have me thinking about it for the rest of the night:

Sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause what's a hero?

[Dqfn13 20]

My sister tought me this one: the only thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Now think about that one.

That is the last line of a song called "Nature Boy". It is true by my own experience.

Live each day like it was your last.

I thought she made it up herself...But I've never heard of that song before. Who wrote it? And who's the singer?

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

My sister tought me this one: the only thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return.

Now think about that one.

That is the last line of a song called "Nature Boy". It is true by my own experience.

Live each day like it was your last.

I thought she made it up herself...But I've never heard of that song before. Who wrote it? And who's the singer?

Well, I don't know the writer, but it was sung by Nat King Cole. Probably more years ago than you've been around. Music has a way of hanging around. And before you ask, Nat King Cole is Natalie Cole's father.