Key County

[simzebu 19]

Post # 100!

Characters like these don't say: I am going to blow your goshdarned head off you rascal! They just don't.
Intrduction to Tricky Business
by Dave Barry
Part One:
Chapter One: Introduction



Key County was formed by the State of Altaria in 1962. The county was then shunned and left to wither and die until 1989. The reason for this was that the state did not want to worry about this little collection of islands in the middle of nowhere. By declaring it a county, they could give it as little aid as they wanted. In 1989, local resident Gary Baugher was elected as chair of the Key County Department of Transportation. At the time, this meant that he had to be paid to sit at his computer playing video games from nine to five on at least two days a week. It was good, because about three days into his employment, a new video game came out called Sim City. The county paid for him to get a copy. After playing for a while, he realised that sitting around like this was doing nothing for the three hundred people who lived in that county. He ordered the construction of five new highways that would connect all but two of the islands of the county. The roads were affectionately named KC-1, KC-2, KC-3, KC-4, and KC-4a. Now that people could freely move between all of the keys, growth boomed. Because people in tropical settings tend to get lazy, the highways were renamed to save confusion. The Nortern Keys Highway, Southern Keys Highway, Eastern Keys Highway, and the Florida Key Spur. The highway that wound through the central keys remained KC-4.

[Joaquin 0]

I love watching CJ's hope this is good!

[Latexmaali 1]

Try to put pics soon i can't wait too

[Cjah 15]

This looks very promising....oh and I got your PM.

So I'm in this C.J.?

[simzebu 19]

your time will come, cjah. i am getting to you later. probably part 2, chapter 1

[Sanguine 0]

Interesting region. I like the maze of highways connecting the archipelago.

[jacqulina 162]

great start

[sloppet 3]

nice start! thanks for the PM and

[Joaquin 0]

ooh! i'm loving it

[newyorkrunaway1 110]

hmmmm.... this reminds me a of that city they had in sc2000, the jamaica one for the pc. All the islands and the bridges. brings back wonderful memories. sc2000 was the best game ever!!!

[simzebu 19]

You might have noticed that I made a reference to the original. It was in fact made in 1989.

[simzebu 19]

Got those highway blues can't you hear the motor running
Driving down the road with my foot on the floor
All the way in town they can hear me coming
Fours about the top she will do no more
And I smell my motor burning,
Underneath the hood of smoke

Can't stop, and I can't stop
Gotta keep moving or I'll lose my mind
Oh, rockin' down the highway

The Doobie Brothers
Rockin' Down the Highway
Toulouse Street (1972)
Chapter 2: The KHSC
In the year 1993, the highway system described above needed repairs badly. Because none of the municipalities wanted to pay for the repairs, it was left to the trasportation department. Doing what all governments do when faced with a problem; they made a committee. Thus the Key Highway System Committee was born. They moved into the top floor of a building on Washington Key.

The building is still there today.

After the repairs were done in 2001, three years ahaid of schedule, the committee decided it was time to pay for them. They moved into another building, the red one in the picture below.

They decided to place toll booths on major bridges. three months later they found that one city was placing extra toll booths, and keeping the money. They sued and used the money to move into a new office at the top of the middle building of the newly built Eastland Grand Plaza on Washington Key.

This is where the offices are currently.

Characters will probably be in the next chapter!
NAMES FOR ISLANDS NEEDED! Post if you want one.

[nealos101 20]

aww... no comments yet... let's spoof it up shall we?

Story - Good, I like to read those!

 

Island Mass - Hmmm.... Personally I wouldn't want to be stuck in a tidal wave living on any of those islands, but hey - this CJ is yours right?

 

Anyhow, how about...

• Isle of Peter
• Isle of Joseph
• Hankock & Rostwald Island
• Edmonton Docklands

If I can have an island... can I have one called: Isle Del Nealos. I love that name! If you do your login name will be placed in my CJ, San Portello...

 

Keep it moving!

 

Nealos101.

[Konica07 2]

this is looking really good, i love the highway system. i can't wait to see where this is going! keep the updates comin!

[captain_cookie 0]

Cool islands! Does your region have an extensive ferry system too?

[simzebu 19]

In response to your comments:
nealos101:Thanks for the names and the comments! all of your island names made it in in some form.

Konica07: I'm glad you like the highway. It took forever to build!

captain_cookie: Parts of it do, parts don't.


9 ISLAND NAMES NEEDED!

[simzebu 19]

No more island names needed.

Living easy, livin' free
Season ticket, on a one - way ride
Asking nothing, leave me be
Taking everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothing I would rather do
Going down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too

I'm on the highway to hell
On the Highway to hell
Highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell

No stop signs, speedin' limit
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna mess me 'round
Hey Satan! Paid my dues
Playin' in a rockin' band
Hey Mama! Look at me
I'm on my way to the promise land

I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell

Highway to Hell
AC-DC
Highway to Hell (1979)
Part Two:
Chapter 3:
Do that thing.
What thing?
The thing wher you list off all the islands!
You mean the one where I say:
'Corner Key, Loft Key, Round Key, Bridge Key, Diagon Key, Dome Key, Long Key, Schmindt Key, Empty Key, Nameless Key, Cod Key, Abdin Key, Spirit Key, Zantiq Key, Sunset Key, Mallory Key, Hook Key, Lop Key, Spider Key, Dino Key, Quincy Key, Maine Key, Marlin Key, Coral Key, Cayo del Chico, Altec Key, Reef Key, Lowe Key, Key Anabelle, Latham Key, Eminance Key, Ap Key, Howell Key, Calm Key, Peter Key, Joseph Key, Hankock Key, Nealos Key, Florida Key, Edmonton Key, Phrep Key, Roswald Key, Kenner Key, Key Sloppet, Shrimp Key, Flyte Key, Galvin Key, Carolina Key, Alabama Key, Georgia Key, Dakota Key, Kansas Key, Nebraska Key, Jersey Key, Washington Key, Massachusets Key, California Key, Rhode Key, Connecticut Key, Vermont Key, and Hampshire Key'?
Yeah.
Okay. Corner Key, Loft Key, Round Key, Bridge Key, Diagon Key, Dome Key, Long Key, Schmindt Key, Empty Key, Nameless Key, Cod Key, Abdin Key, Spirit Key, Zantiq Key, Sunset Key, Mallory Key, Hook Key, Lop Key, Spider Key, Dino Key, Quincy Key, Maine Key, Marlin Key, Coral Key, Cayo del Chico, Altec Key, Reef Key, Lowe Key, Key Anabelle, Latham Key, Eminance Key, Ap Key, Howell Key, Calm Key, Peter Key, Joseph Key, Hankock Key, Nealos Key, Florida Key, Edmonton Key, Phrep Key, Roswald Key, Kenner Key, Key Sloppet, Shrimp Key, Flyte Key, Galvin Key, Carolina Key, Alabama Key, Georgia Key, Dakota Key, Kansas Key, Nebraska Key, Jersey Key, Washington Key, Massachusets Key, California Key, Rhode Key, Connecticut Key, Vermont Key, and Hampshire Key.
Wow.

[rooker1 4]

Very interesting start, I can't wait for more close up city shots.  I have never seen so many islands in a CJ before.  I think you are the first, that's cool, ehh?

 

L8r 

[simzebu 19]

Sorry about the wait here. I'm having some problems with my computer. Plus I'm having [:0]FINALS!!!!!!![:0]



and im lazy too

[simzebu 19]

Sorry about the wait.

Life's like a road that you travel on
When there's ne day here and the next day gone
Somethimes you bend and sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your head to the wind
There's a world outside ev'ry darkened door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore
Where brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won't hesitate
Break down the garden's gate
There's not much time left today

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long

Through all these cities and all these towns
It's in my blood and it's all around
I love you now like I loved you then
This is the road and these are the hands
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights
The khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights

Knock me down get back up again
You're in my blood
I'm not a lonely man
There's no load I can't hold
Road so rough this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Just tell 'em we're survivors

Gimme gimme gimme gimme yeah
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long
There was a distance between you and I
A misunderstanding once
But now we look in the eye


There ain't no load that I can't hold
Road so rough this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in
Just tell 'em we're survivors

Life is a highway
I wanna ride it all night long
If you're going my way
I wanna drive it all night long

Tom Cochran
Life is a Highway

Chapter 4
Hey man, I'm bored
Well why don't you do something?
I don't know what to do.
Why not?
Shut the Funk up, Clint!
Did you just say shut the FUNK up?
Yes! I absolutely Hate funk!
Oh.
Clint walked to the radio and changed the station

you_are_listening_to_ktek,_key_county's_only_techno_station.

And I'm glad it is. He changed the station.

This is N-P-R. National Public Radio. Hosting the tri-anual begathon!
That's right George! We won't stop begging until you give us money!

Good G**! said Mitch, who, if you can't guess, is Clint's freind.
Did you just bleep out the word 'God'?
Yeah. These days the FCC will let you get away with the 'darn' part of God darn it, but not the 'God' part. so much for Separation of Church and State.
You used 'darn' instead of-
DON'T SAY IT!
Why not?
Because the Man is tapping thie room with wireless bugs, so if you swear, you will be fined more than if you dump nuclear waste into the Long Island Sound!
You are WAY too paranoid.
he changed the radio channel again.

Coming up after the break is another continuous half minute of music. Just kidding, it's going to be a half HOUR, of music.
Are you bored?said the commercial.
Yessaid Mitch
Do you have way too much time and money on your hands?
This guy's good
Is the government tapping your room ready to fine you half a million dollars if you swear?
It's like he's speaking just to me!
Is your name Mitch?
Yes, master!
Then come on down to the Key Highway Touring Company! We are way too expensive and it takes a realy long time to finish the tour!
That's a good idea!
So they got in the car and hopped a ferry to Corner Key, the start of the tour.
They arrived here

They proceded to the Key Tours Building, shown below.

Man, they weren't kidding, this IS expensive!
I have an idea.
So they walked in and took the free map and listing of attractions and walked out.
So if that's the free part, what do you get when you pay?
You get to ride in a tour bus
A/C?
Duh!
I'd still rather take your car.
Yeah. 1970 Charger would get los chicas much better than a '04 International Hunkajunk
Los chicas? Nice Espansish dude.
Espanish? Nice Eh-English dude.
Eh-English? Nice- wow. This has GOT to be ended!
Good Idea.
Okay, first stop is at Corner Key.
Isn't that where we are?
Yeah. Moving on!

Loft Key. Used to be industry, but was converted.

Wright Bridge. One of the newer, cheaper spans.

Small Key. Boring residential.

Round Key. Another conversion. Started when they put in the cruise port.

Bridge Key. Not much here.

Lock Key. Funny name, boring place.

Ahhhhhh. the great smell of exhaust and garbage on Pennuci Key.

The Pennuci Bridge. A large steel arch. Bridges a nice waterway.

Big Key. Lots of residential. Boring. Again.

Diagon Key. More industry. Hey, that almost rhymed! and you are almost asleep. It will get better.

Dome Key. It's Shaped like a dome. Original.

Long Key. It's long.


Schmindt Key. Whoever named these needs a life.

Empty Key. Looks uninteresting. Let's see what is down this road, for the heck of it.

A swamp. wonderful.

Oh. looks like another bridge. and it has a boring island to go with it. back to the highway.

Wait, I didn't see this on the way in! looks like a bar!

Mitch woke up surrounded by people looking at him, and a beer in front of him.
What the-
It's the Nameless Bar.
Does it have a name?
No.
Cool.
He drank the beer and ordered another.
they stayed there until Mitch was thuroughly drunk and Clint was almost fully sober.(Don't wan't to condon drunk driving now, do I?)

And Onward, for Cod Key. Boring.

They call this an attraction? It's a power plant! What's so good about that?



Wow. that was a lot of images. 22 I think.

Keep load times down and POST OFTEN!