Warning Labels

[DOXXP29 5]

Since the number of frivolous lawsuits keeps going up, the number of ridiculous warning labels must go up as well. They have a contest every year and these are the results of this year's contest. "Danger: Avoid Death!" is priceless!

Check out the winners and runners-up here: http://www.wackywarnings.com/

[your_adress_here 11]

Haha, that's awesome! Thanks for sharing.

[OffTopic 3]

He he. Avoid death. That's funny.

[LarksTonguesInAspic 28]

On a related note, I heard a while back that modern America isn't the all-time lawsuit champion; it was actually the 16th & 17th century Dutch. I don't have time at the moment to look it up to verify this, but they sure didn't have warning labels back then.

I work in an industrial environment, and since machinery is globally sourced they don't have the warning in all languages, but rather graphic symbols that get the point across.

Like this    and this   and this one

The last one is my favorite.

 

[The_Dalai_Llama 15]

Funny stuff, but it's sad we need those kinds of warnings... I mean, common sense tells you to avoid death, right?

[coolotter88 2]

Please take off shirt before ironing?

[Duke87 1,070]

The fireworks which are legal for sale in Connecticut all say "Caution: Emits showers of sparks." Yeah, fireworks. I mean, what do you think it's going to do, jump up and hug you? Captain Obvious to the rescue!

When my sister was in Paris she spotted several signs in the subway near third rails and power cables which said (in French, of course) "Do not touch. Danger of death." Though somehow I get the feeling it sounds a lot sillier in English than it does in French.

Movies have some good ones, too. "Self Destruct- Do not push unless you really, really, mean it!" (Spaceballs) and "Caution: Nuclear Warhead. Fragile" (Dr. Stangelove) come to mind.

[MrCinatit 30]

Originally posted by: manticorefan On a related note, I heard a while back that modern America isn't the all-time lawsuit champion; it was actually the 16th & 17th century Dutch. I don't have time at the moment to look it up to verify this, but they sure didn't have warning labels back then.

I work in an industrial environment, and since machinery is globally sourced they don't have the warning in all languages, but rather graphic symbols that get the point across.

Like this    and this   and this one

The last one is my favorite.

 quote>

The last one is on the baler I use at work, warning people to not put their fingers in the baler as it is crushing cardboard.

[panthersimcity4 162]

heh, there was one of a Sleeping Pill that said "May cause drowsiness"

[IDS2 3,431]

Almost like my social studies teacher who seems to have liabiltyphobia. He always says "please excuse my bragging" or "now don't go home and tell so-and-so..."

I saw a funny one the other day that said "common side affects may include drowsiness. However in some cases glaucoma and cataracts may occur." OH BOY, MAKES ME WANT TO GO OUT AND BUY IT!

[purpledaddy 6]

I'm glad to see our handiwork in the Bureau of Bureaucracies actually successfully seeps out into Real Life! 

pssssssttt!  Don't tell anybody: we love challenging the creativity of lawyers who love challenging our creativity! A Perfect Symbiosis!   (and people thought endless, unnecessary regulations were dry and boring!   )

[DOXXP29 5]

Thanks, Manticorefan! The glow in the dark version of the last one is one that I'd like to see.

One of my favourites is a television advertisment for a drug used for restless leg syndrome. In the fast voice/small print at the end where side effects are discussed, the user is advised to "check with your doctor if you experience any unusual gambling or sexual urges". I dunno, maybe someone's restless legs will cause them to run right out to a brothel or casino.

[amdinside 2]

Good stuff. Of course it is sad we have to come up with these warning labels.

[gabry85 2]

Avoid death? Alright, I'll follow the advice...

[Odainsaker 2,137]

I do like the scary warning labels California requires on artificial Christmas trees and wreaths made in China:

WARNING:  This product contains chemicals, including lead, known to the State of California to cause birth defects or other reproductive harm.  Wash hands after handling.

Ho ho ho, little boys and girls, let's go deck the halls with poisonous decorations for Santa!  Speaking of kids, have you ever seen how toy dolls are packed before they are placed on retail shelves.  I once came across some that, in order to protect their delicate faces during shipping, had clear plastic bags over their heads and securely tied off at the neck.  Of course, the bags themselves had printed warnings of "Danger of Child Suffocation."

Then there is the yummy savory potato chips made with the fat-substitute Olestra:

This Product Contains Olestra. Olestra may cause abdominal cramping and loose stools.

And this was after the industry fought with the FDA so they wouldn't have to use the word "diarrhea" in the warning label, a term which is the kiss of death for food products.  Instead, they had to market us foods with mandated warnings of "loose stools" and "leakage" from unspeakable places.  Talk about a marketeering challenge!  Be warned, the FDA no longer requires these warning labels, so read ingredients carefully for Olestra or its brand-name Olean.

I suggest an even fair trade exchange:  their colorful lead-contaminated toys for our succulent olestra foodstuffs.

Hehehe, bon appétit!

[purpledaddy 6]

Originally posted by: gabry85 Avoid death? Alright, I'll follow the advice... quote>

 

I usually avoid death by not allowing myself to live! 

[saltandsauce 0]

all those signs mean that someone has ironed their shirt while wearing it and sliced their fingers off in machinery and signed their bills with a vanishing fabric marker

such sad ,sad strange people

[krbe 193]

Originally posted by: manticorefan On a related note, I heard a while back that modern America isn't the all-time lawsuit champion; it was actually the 16th & 17th century Dutch. I don't have time at the moment to look it up to verify this, but they sure didn't have warning labels back then. quote>

What would you expect from a country where the whole economy is based on tulip trading?

[hamsterTK 93]

I don't really get whats so hilarious about the "danger:avoid death" one.

that looks like a serious thing, being in a hurry and forgetting to put it in park and lower the boom means it could come down and hit you as you exit through the front.

[Joesocwork 4]

^ I think that's the irony. The consequences to most of these can be very serious. It's just that most of them are written obtusely and appear to be written as much to protect the authors from lawsuits as they are to protect the readers from danger.

[Bumdark 3]

These things just get sillier and sillier, don't they?

Like on steaming coffees, "Danger: very hot". Guh, I hadn't thought of that earlier! Whaddaya mean, my coffee, having just come out of the bewing pot over a fire stove, is very hot? That's steam of cold you see!

Dumb nuts...

I've heard this one from my English teacher a few weeks back...

---

Once, some stupid woman in the US took her van for a spin. On the highway, she decided to press "Cruise Control" to let it steer her home.

Need I remind that she ended up in the field?

The worst part: she SUED THE VAN'S MAKERS for not informing the public that Cruise Control ain't Autopilot! And SHE WON!!!!!

Since, vans have been required to sport the "Danger: Cruise Control is not Autopilot" warning. I mean, being the judge, I'd've just sent the dumb woman to be commited for extreme stupidity and lack of a brain, but that's just my opinion... pretty sure it's shared, though.

---

Comes to show not everyone can be fit to drive like they state in commercials... some are a pure danger, but only 'cause their brains didn't come shipped with the baby at birth.

[Hahayoudied 3]

There was this one woman that sued Mcdolnas (I forgot how to spell it) for not putting warning cation: very hot when she spilled the hot coffee on her lap. I think some people lack common sense these days.

[DOXXP29 5]

Some more "winners"...

The following are actual instructions found on the named items:

ON HAIRDRYER INSTRUCTIONS;

- Do not use while sleeping.

ON A BAG OF FRITOS:

- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP,

- Directions: Use like regular soap.

ON A FROZEN DINNER:

- Serving suggestion: Defrost.

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: - Fits one head.

ON TESCO'S TIRIMISU DESERT

- Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

ON MARKS & SPENCER BREAD PUDDING

- Product will be hot after heating

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body

ON BOOTS CHILDRENS COUGH MEDICINE

- Do not drive car or operate machinery

ON NYTOL (A SLEEP AID)

- Warning: may cause drowsiness

ON A KOREAN KITCHEN KNIFE

- Warning keep out of children

ON A STRING OF CHINESE MADE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

- For indoor or outdoor use only.

ON A JAPANESE FOOD PROCESSOR

- Not to be used for the other use

ON SAINSBURY'S PEANUTS

- Warning: contains nuts

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS

- Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW

- Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands

ON A PACKET OF SUNMAID RAISINS

- Why not try tossing over your favorite breakfast cereal?

[Cockatoo 2,257]

That just made my day...

ON A HOTEL-PROVIDED SHOWER CAP IN A BOX: - Fits one head. - Oh no? My shower cap at home can fit 6...

ON A SWEDISH CHAINSAW - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands - Do they sell chainsaws to retards now?

ON AN AMERICAN AIRLINES PACKET OF NUTS - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. - Anybody who actually needs read this is very sad...

ON PACKAGING FOR A ROWENTA IRON - Do not Iron clothes on body - Again , the retards thing...

[Red1530 1]

While some warning labels may be useful by pointing out a not so clear danger most of the the lables could be removed if tort reform was done.