The History of Simsville - Part 2

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Entry posted by DVDGuy · April 20, 2013

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In this second and final edition of our historical series, we examine the period from 1925 to the present. The following features excerpts from the historical text, 'Simsville: From Sinsville to Metropolis', by Pulitzer nominated author and Simsville residence, Brandon Zeltzer.

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The 1920's was the Golden Age of Simsville. It was during this time the city builts its first sewerage system, first factories, and the first newspaper, The Simsville Bugle.

Affectionately known as The Bugle by Simsvillians, the meteoric rise of the newspaper closely followed the meteoric rise of the city itself, by that time, it was one of the most prosperous cities in North America. The Bugle's reputation as a leading news source extended not only within the city and the Whitewater Valley region itself, but beyond.

But when the Great Depression arrived, all that Simsville achieved in the preceding 20 years or so was wiped out almost instantly.

First to go was industry. Overnight, the factories that had been at the center of the Simsville economic miracle shut down and closed their doors. Manufactured materials, everything from alloys to metals, sat in trade depots with no global market for these goods.

Trade depot with unsold stockpiled goods, circa 1932

People lost their livelihoods overnight. Unemployment was at 45%. Poverty was everywhere.

In this photo from 1933, a previously leafy and well-to-do suburb of Simsville turns into a deserted wasteland

A prosperous metropolis turned into a crime ridden urban nightmare almost overnight. Photo circa 1933

How Simsville dealt with this economic armageddon would unfortunately define the city, and its citizens, for decades to come, in what many consider the most shameful period of Simsville's history.

First was the Llama massacre of 1934. When city officials were slow to respond to food shortages during the peak of the Great Depression, the starving citizens of Simsville took it upon themselves to solve this crisis. The internationally respected Simsville Zoo, home to the world's largest herd of captivity bred llama, was broken into, and in what could only be described as a massacre, not a single llama survived the ensuing slaughter as hungry citizens killed and barbecued indiscriminately.

One resident of neighboring Elm Grove wrote in his diary on that fateful day in 1934: "The smell lofting over from the broken wasteland that is Simsville was unbearable. You could not go outside and come inside without smelling of roast llama. A smell that brings the most ghastly images imaginable, yet surprising salivating at the same time."

The decline of Simsville became an incubator for something even more shameful. When Adam "Benito" Whitcliff rose to the position of mayor in 1935, it would herald in one of the most shameful periods in Simsville's then short history.

Whitcliff, an admirer of Italian fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, would lead the city for the next 8 years under the guiding principles of his fascist idols in Europe, including Mussolini and Hitler. Bringing order to chaos, the citizens of Simsville embraced Whitcliff and his discriminating policies. The Simsville Bugle, once held in the same esteem as The New York Times or The Washington Post, published shameful editorial after editorial praising Whitcliff and his views, to the dismay of most ordinary Americans. The paper has never recovered from this disastrous period in its otherwise illustrious history.

A shameful headline from the June 6 1935 edition of The Simsville Bugle, ironically exactly 9 years before American troops made that fateful landing in Normandy, France

Ignorance became the catchphrase of Simsville. When the mayor commissioned local builders to recreate the famous Leaning Tower of Pisa with the city, a series of photographic mistakes led to the building of a non-leaning version of the tower. Only shoddy construction and poor engineering eventually led the tower to lean in the right direction.

This present day photo shows the infamous Leaning Tower of Simsville

Even the declaration of war against Hitler's Germany didn't change mayor Whitcliff's politics, but by then, the citizens of Simsville had had enough. Whitcliff lost to challenger Gregory Lehane in the 1943 election by a historic margin of 92% to 6%.

The damage had been done though, and at the war's end, Simsville had become the butt of a many jokes. One U.S. senator even jokingly putting forth a motion in the senate to declare Simsville enemy territory, and hence subject to war reparations payments.

But like the defeated nations of Germany and Japan, Simsville refocused the ignominy of "defeat" into productivity and rebuilding. The second Golden Age of Simsville had begun, and the city flourished again.

The city stayed out of the headlines, quietly rebuilding its industry, taking advantage of the consumer electronic and computing revolutions of the 80's and 90's. Even The Bugle's reputation recovered somewhat.

Simsville is now a center of consumer electronic manufacturing and export

Presently under the steady leadership of mayor Peter Less, the city has undergone major transformations in the last decade. The city continues on its journey to reach its full potential, and regain its reputation as one of the premier metropolises of the world.