Geb

[frogface 352]

nice update i like the rebellion

[K_m_H 0]

Wow. I love that desert area. The pics with houses reminds me of Age of empires or something. I love the way you make your regions look nothing like SC4 creations should look like, I'm quite tired of all everyone showing off their big downtowns with big skyscrapers.

Oh and that desert is perfect for a you know what to rule

[bourneid 13]

great updates.. that plane flight looks a lot like my first few (hundred) attemps at flying in the game and I guess I should start calling you commrade. So is there any chance that I will be able to take up a post in the new government...

[Djohaal 121]

Well people, this CJ is done for, no no, it wasn't deleted like kasvagoria, it is that I don't have any ideas to strench the storyline from the end of the industrial age until the late modern times, in the later modern times the charachter roster would appear and some more nice and fuzzy

[Djohaal 121]

...Kelkoten was four years old when when he became lost in the largest department
store in the city. He let go of Mother’s hand to pick up the holocube. He rotated it with wonderment, touching the control knobs and squealing with delight as the images shifted almost magically as he moved it...

...he wondered how could a simple box make such things.
Suddenly his mother said: Kelkoten I and your brother will have to go to another department, stay here until we are back She said, moving her hand gently over her son's face, whose eyes still were stuck in the holocube.
A few minutes later, Kelkoten discovered the selector panel, but while
manipulating the box, he dropped the cube onto the hard floor breaking one of it's legs. The sphere flashed brightly and then faded to darkness. Kelkoten became frightened and searched for his mother.
Fear of discovery and punishment welled up inside him, and in his desire to get away from the broken cube he forgot about the order to stay put. He wandered to the end of the aisle, and spotted Mother a short distance away, rummaging through a bin of myalon vests. As he ran toward her, he realized that it was just a stranger with only a vague resemblance to Mother. Fighting back tears, he decided to return to the spot where the broken cube lay.
He wandered down and up trough the asiles, and when he noticed, he was lost.
He had no idea how to find Mother, and he had no idea how to find the spot where he had last seen her. He was alone, abandoned. Strangers, huge and terrifying, walked past. Walls of boxed appliances towered above him. Fear and despair won the battle for his emotions, and he began to cry. After an endless time, during which a lot of strangers had asked a lot of questions which he ha’d been too confused or too frightened to answer, he suddenly found himself in a small white , and quiet room. The door opened, and Mother came in, scooping him up into her arms. He cried again, burying his face into the warmth of her loving embrace.
---------------------------------------------------

It was 2 AM when the phone rang in Abraxus's apartment. She was too sleepy and was unable to answer to the phone, so it automatically answered to whomever was in the other side of the line. She sat on her bed and pressed a button in the phone, and the face of doctor Aisaroth appeared.
He grinned to her and said with a terrible Askatasunan* accent: Abraxus, it is time for the awakening, his eyes glaring the empty and with a expression of great excitement in his face.
Abraxus made a worried face and said: Doctor are you sure that the program is mature enough? This project was supposed to end in 3 years, our last awakening date was in the other Geddon Festival**, not this one she looked a bit anoyned since the doctor disturbed her night of sleep just after the great celebration of the festical.
The doctor chuckled and said: My dear, I'm as sure that we should do it now as you were drunk last night -The doctor, although already 60 years old, went with the rest of the team, that was like a family to him, since he never married, to many of the parties, and the geddon festival was one of them-
Abraxus grinned and started to look ashamed when the doctor mentioned: Also, the pharaoh herself is coming to see this, that is why we had to change the date again He seemed to be in a deep trance of the excitement of having the supreme philospher in such a great moment.
Then Abraxus replied: Ok Ok old man, I'm in the lab in 30 minutes, did you call to the rest of the team?
Aisaroth's face, long and pointy ears typical of the geb-ans with his short and messed white hair nodded and then stated Some minor members of the team are in the other city-states, so they won't be able to come, but all the leaders are already coming here. Sorry if I called you so late. The pharaoh will be here in 45 minutes so hurry up, we got to deactvate everything and manage to direct the savant's self-mind to somewhere it will be able to join our reality.
Abraxus shrugged and said: Whatever, I'm too sleepy now to think about advanced engineering, let me have my cofee, a cold shower and my brain will be up to the task
The doctor laughed a bitAbraxus, Abraxus, always avoiding the work, well, see you then, and hurry up Shortly after his face faded away in a mix of colours which slowsly vanished as the holoprojectors turned off.
Abraxus took a leap from the bed and thought Looks like it is time to see if my child can face all this she walked away to get some cofee.

And now a word from our maestro
Heck this thing took me some time to type but came out fluffy, sorry for the typos but I'm too crazy to grammer-fix this
I didn't type all that since the top part of it (before the apartment picture) is from a fiction I have in my HD from a long time ago, I did some fuzzy ups in it and pasted here, but the lower part is all mine. Also, this part is a heck of confusing, but pay attention

NOTES: *Think of Aisaroth's accent a strong german influence, like C&C RA2's einstein
**It is one of the many festivals in the euskadian calendar, this one is marked by the perfect triangular formation of all the 3 moons in Geb, and happens once every 6 months, one of them matches with the new year, and a lot of partying, celebration and drinking (OF COURSE!) happens.
Feedback:
Froggy: As I said simcity lacks the dynamics for a true revolution, but I made what I could
KMH: See your You-Know-What, although it is a she, without a name so far, and not in desert. Also, prepare to some skyskrapers in te future, but I will limit them
Comarade BourneID: Hehehe, I will open the sign up roster soon, but it will still take a while

[winterysky 0]

looks awesome!! nice job!

[dev 47]

umm, interesting update

I like wierd CJs! Keep this one up JO!

[Yuna 0]

Hi J.O.! Great update...your story is pretty interesting. Lol...it really seems like the poor people of Askatasuna are turning commie....Well, I guess it's the emperor's fault really...lol. Anyways, this new update with Abraxus and this awakening seems quite exciting....I can't wait to see what it is that her child is going to be facing...Well, I'll continue to await your next great update as always. Keep up the great work!

[K_m_H 0]

So the pharaoh is a she now eh..

Interesting to see how this will develop, hope it continues in the same awesome spirit as the last world had.

the perso inside the holocube seems to lack some volume .. Ok I'm getting bored with that now

[masher 3]

So many words!!!

nice story lovely pictures!

[jglei701 8]

Where did you get this temple? I can't find it on the STEX, and it isn't anywhere in the massive Japanese thread (I spent 3 hours searching through it!)

I really like this CJ... it has so many different faces, from its simple beginnings, to its monarchy, to the future. Keep it up!!!

[frogface 352]

nice! now its in the modern ages the attention to detail is great compared with other CJ's...custom lots, 3dsmax renders, good story

p.s. that temple ^^^ is the Kungjugon landmark from Simcity.com

[Djohaal 121]

Kelkoten was six years old when he was bullied on his first day of elementary school. So far, it had been a day of strange, confusing images: Mother and Father waving goodbye as he boarded the huge yellow bus, the older children with badges herding everyone down the long hallways lined with colorful nubbly tiles, the friendly Ms. Borne writing her name on the whiteboard, the boxes of brand-new crayons, the frightening hugeness of the school auditorium.

Kelkoten was cutting shapes out of colored construction paper when a funny sound filled the room, and Ms. Borne told everyone that it was time to go home. He barely remembered to grab his lunchbox, the brand-new one with the pony pictures all over it, and the red hat that Grandma had knitted. Then, confusion in the hallways again. One of the older children with a badge, who Kelkoten had learned were called Monitors, asked him for his bus route number. .Seven,. the said, confidently. Mother had drilled the number into him. Soon Kelkoten was standing on the sidewalk with a group of other children. He looked around, but didn�t see anyone from his class. Everyone seemed to be older and bigger than Kelkoten. Slowly he realized that someone from behind was talking to him. Hey! Hey, you with the red hat! Kelkoten turned around, and found himself facing three older boys. Two of them were wearing Monitor badges. That�s a great hat, runt, said the tallest of the three .Where did you get it? Grandma, replied Kelkoten, confused by their amusement. Hey, one of the older boys shouted over Kelkoten.s head, look at Grandma�s boy here, wearing a hat in September! What are you going to wear in December, runt, a spacesuit?! The boys laughed again, and Kelkoten began to get a funny feeling
deep in his chest. And look at this lunchbox! Said the third of the boys. What pretty ponies, huh? Hey, Grandma�s boy, do you like ponies? The tallest boy suddenly reached out and grabbed Kelkoten�s hat.
What�ll Grandma say if you come home without your hat, huh? Gimme that, shouted Kelkoten, tears beginning to spill down his face. Look, the runt�s a crybaby! The runt�s a crybaby! Suddenly, through the tears, Kelkoten became aware of a grown-up standing between him and his tormentors, speaking sternly. A moment later, the man was leading Kelkoten away down the street. What�s your name, little fella? Asked the man. He had a friendly voice, and as Kelkoten began to wipe away his tears he saw that the man
had a friendly face as well. He was carrying Kelkoten�s hat in one hand, and a hefty pile of books in the other hand. .Kelkoten,. he answered, still sniffling a bit. .Well, Kelkoten, everything�s okay now. Why don�t you come in, and we�ll see if we can fix you up with some milk and cookies.



Abraxus quickly prepared some strong coffee, she had been awaken until very late due to the Geddon festival, and drank it while eating some toasts she also had prepared. As she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth the telephone rang again. She dressed herself decently and answered the holoprojection. It was Buta, another of the key members of the team, he seemed to be not very happy. He said �Abraxus, did the old man call you too?�
�Yes, seems like Deidre herself will be there, you know, unless we impress the government we will be in trouble, the whole project will be ditched� she replied with a deep preoccupation.
Buta then replied- �Indeed, however the awakening was supposed to happen in two years, not now! If the self is not matured enough, the whole thing will fail, and then our project will be ditched!�- He seemed quite angry, since he helped with the programming of the first codes of the project, he probably knew a lot about that.
Abraxus said with a grin: �I agree with you that the program should have been given more one year or so to run, however I watched much more of it�s maturation, since you were kicked of the simulation just when things started to get interesting�
Buta chuckled: �Heh, I wonder why did they select me to incorporate that personality, I would rather have been its brother�
Abraxus said: �Well, I think I�d better go, looks like the traffic will be terrible due to the festival, and I don�t want to arrive late�
Buta yawned �I�d better go too, still didn�t even dress myself properly�
They shaked their hands over the holoprojection and then the system turned off.
Abraxus quickly brushed her teeth, flossing, of course, and then she opened her closet.
�Hmm�.Hmmmmm�nope, not this one�hmm�Aha!�
Abraxus selected her best priest robes, although she is now a scientist, she was ordered priest of a local pyramid temple, but she left the priesthood to work in the project, however she was free to wear her robes in official events. It was a long and blue robe, with cyan details and a small pink �tail� which came from the neck to her knees in the back.
Then she opened her jewelry box and found two of her preferred earrings, with a big blue sapphire in them, she put the jewels in her bag aftermath Abraxus opened one of the drawers and found her preferred turbant, a dark purple one. She tried it and the dress looked perfect. Shortly after she was going downstairs in the empty building (actually via the elevator, but whatever)

And now a word from our maestro
Yuna: Thanks a lot for your kind words, nowadays it is hard to get such elaborate comments, so yours are extremely appreciated
KMH: Surprised? And I think you wouldn't want extra volume into that hologram, it is a he
jglei701: I replied to your question in the japanese bats thread.
Frogface: Heh, that is just simple 3dsmaxing, if I can be so bold to say that, just some materials here, some others there, an opacity map, some smoke and mirrors and ta-da

[Yuna 0]

Hi again, J.O.! It's really great to be able to see another update of your story! Hmm.....it's kind of sad how those boys just pick on Kelkoten like that...he seems like such a sweet kid...Well, can't wait to see what's in store for him in the next update. Also, this awakening ceremony....I guess I'll have to continue to wait and see just what is going to happen...lol. *You sure know how to keep people coming back for more of your story....* Ok then, I'll await your next update and keep up this great work!

[dev 47]

Nice new update, again very interesting, keep up your good work, you are doing great with this

[ianpaschal 77]

Nice J_O_, it's interesting, but the city should be overrun with balloon heads to add a twist.

-Scip

[sim_mc_hammer 0]

hey jo!!!!! yo, came by to check stuff out round here! good stuff man! ya just got too much writing for me lol! whatever, maybe i'll read some over or somethin! i'll be back for some more pics though! ciao!!! GOOD STUFF!!!!!!

*Hey YUNA!!!!it's me!!!!remember???*lol

[bourneid 13]

You continue to have a very facinating story to your development. It is always interesting to see what is going to happen next. An I know you were worried about having to skip into the presant with it, but I think that you will handle it just fine. Keep up the great work and story, and they will keep rolling in here for more. Oh, by the way..can we exspect any new lots (BATs) to go in made by you? Anything in development? See you on the next update.

 

by the way..sorry I didnt get a chance to comment yesterday like I said I would...I got tied up..called back into work...the new building we are finishing up...had a some of the roof pulled up with the storms that rolled though here last night...and are still comming in..

[MsCharamut1969 8]

Wow, the desert area is pretty kool looking. Of course, you have some wonderful updates here in your CJ and I hope you continue the great job!

Look forward to more updates! Keep 'em coming!!!!!

 

 

Chara

[PhilsCafe 8]

Looks like you have invented a new game: Civilization SC4. Amazing work. I like how you developed the story, the desert pics, the small colourful houses at the beginning and also your town centers.

- Phil

[frogface 352]

i like the story
i wonder whether the 2 somehow get intermixed later

[K_m_H 0]

another great update.. lots of text

as always the storyline is the key here, you should write a novel or something J.O.

[Chappington 131]

Very interesting CJ. I especially like the original story. Keep it up!

[Mexicanboy13r 12]

Very interesting.. after reading it after a while Great work! I really like the last picture you posted great look indeed!

[smirkazor 1]

impressive jo, u have really outdun urself on storyline this time, very good, like the way that u transition into each age, cool indeed, keep up the work.

 

smirkazor

[Djohaal 121]

Kelkoten was ten years old when he decided that he wanted to be a writer. It was a warm day, probably the warmest so far this spring, so they were sitting on the kitchen veranda, overlooking Rav and Frita

[Chappington 131]

Date:1/17/2005 12:55:06 PM
Author:J.O.

Splime: Long time no see! Actually as you can read in the first feedback of the storyline-intensive part, half of what is here is not mine, I'm 'Cntrl+C' 'Cntrl+V' ing a story from an ol' pdf I found in my derelict sector of the HD, ut I'm editing some stuff

quote>

The funny thing is, I just saw that AFTER I commented.

The suspense of the story is killing me!  What is this awakening?

[Yuna 0]

Hello, J.O. So finally, an update! I've been waiting for quite a few days for this moment to arrive...lol. Hmm, so Rav was the man who helped out Kelkoten back on his first day of school...seems like a pretty nice guy to me. I sure hope Kelkoten will turn out to be a great writer like Rav, of course, unless something else happens to Kelkoten... *Lol, I've actually just finished up reading a chapter from my Astronomy textbook before I came to read this...this is definitely a great way to relax my brain after two hours of trying to understand lunar phases...* Anyways, I'm looking forward to see what's in store for Abraxus. She looks like such a lonely character...it sure would be sad if everyone leaves the team after the Project is completed. Well, I'll still continue to wait for this Awakening...I'm definitely not going to miss the greatest moment of the century...So, keep up this great story, J.O.! This CJ is definitely one of my favourites, especially since this has a great story to go with the pictures! Alright then, keep up the great story writing/city building and I look forward to the next update!

[Iknowu 0]

hi yuna long time no see? jo like the update looks really nice and i like how you followed the red car keep up the good work

[Mexicanboy13r 12]

woah! I really like the storyline.. *read it all* I really like how you made the lights! Really nice Great work!
Glad I dropped in..