How to fill in a tax return

[JustinHayward 10]

I am not to sure wether this is genuine - but an American friend just sent it to me lol

Dear IRS,

Enclosed is my 2005 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes. Please note the attached article from USA Today, wherein you will see the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. I am enclosing four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value

$1029), bringing my total remitted to $3429.00.

Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. You can do this inexpensively by sending them one 1.5" Phillips Head screw (article from USA Today detailing how HUD pays $22.00 each for 1.5" Phillips Head Screws is enclosed for your convenience.)

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,

A Satisfied Taxpayer

TODAYS TAXES

Accounts Receivable Tax

Building Permit Tax

Capital Gains Tax

CDL License Tax

Cigarette Tax

Corporate Income Tax

Court Fines (indirect taxes)

Dog License Tax

Federal Income Tax

Federal Unemployment Tax

(FUTA)

Fishing License Tax

Food License Tax

Fuel permit tax

Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)

Hunting License Tax

Inheritance Tax Interest Expense (tax on the money THEY paid tax on already)

Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)

IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Liquor Tax

Local Income Tax

Luxury Taxes

Marriage License Tax

Medicare Tax

Property Tax

Real Estate Tax

Septic Permit Tax

Service Charge Taxes

Social Security Tax

Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)

Sales Taxes

Recreational Vehicle Tax

Road Toll Booth Taxes

School Tax

State Income Tax

State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone Federal Excise tax

Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Telephone Federal , State and Local Surcharge Ttaxes

Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Telephone Recurring and Non-Recurring Charges Tax

Telephone State and Local Tax

Telephone Usage Charge Tax

Toll Bridge Taxes

Toll Tunnel Taxes

Traffic Fines (indirect taxation)

Trailer Registration Tax

Utility Taxes

Vehicle License Registration Tax

Vehicle Sales Tax

Watercraft Registration Tax

Well Permit Tax

Workers Compensation Tax

COMMENTS:

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

[Easy Bakes 253]

Thats an old article..

NASA now pays $1500 for a toilet seat and the Pentgon pays $600 Per Hammer.

[A Nonny Moose 8,261]

Ah yes, but they are military spec devices, tempest tested and approved by the GSA.  In addition they are ISO9001 inspected and approved vendors.

[The_Family_Guy 2]

Lol, that almost made me hit the floor!

Such taxes are needed because, frankly, we don't have any other way of getting money anymore.

All the jobs are overseas, and there's a huge war to pay for...etc.

I love taxes !

[Constantina 5]

How about a tax where you pay 10 cent every time you used the word USA? That would be silly. How about a tax where you paid $1 extra per book? Now that would be oppressive. How about the TV licence? Not bad, that means no commercials like the BBC.

How about a tax which advertisers have to pay every time they show an advertisment on the internet? That's better.

[GingerBlokey 30]

"Well Permit Tax"

Truly essential for the modern world.

[your_adress_here 11]

If you don't like taxes, move to Alberta!

[vid 0]

I love tax tax tax! Tax the taxes they taxed on our tax!!

We filled out a TI-502 but we needed to fill out a TI-501 and a T-200. Opps!

[Skink000 0]

@JustinHayward: Thats great, I was going to say I hope it is true but then I remembered the IRS's sense of humor . 

I pay them just what my black hole of an income (it sucks in everything including gravity, a negative income) provides—nada.