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chfzdn

My Story in Minecraft Community

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Hello,

February 2016 is my month to join a Minecraft server, Azalel Nation. Yes, it's an Indonesian server with good uptime (~90%). In my first days, players are nice and friendly to me. But, after I give some gameplay advices, some players becoming hate to me. It sounds crazy but it isn't all true, because I almost spam (but I never committed spam intentionally) the chat. This is becoming stronger as I'm applying as a helper in the server. Yes, unlike Simtropolis etc, they are "democratic" so recruit players using an application (the reason I quoted democratic because they don't have voting, they only selected by the owner/co-owner with some opinions and considerations). And, my first app is failed due to some reasons:

  1. I don't have vision to be a staff
  2. My behavior is commented by others
  3. My "flying time" (active time) is little
  4. Bad time management

I'm not giving up. But, because I'm had childish behavior (some of this is remained in this day) or the community nature, I am becoming kind of angry when criticized by one of the staff, @SiKece (this may not a valid mention in Simtropolis) and created a topic called Pertimbangan Kembali (Reconsideration) around the site recovery (the site hacked in August 2016 and Sladey becoming webmaster to switch to new instance). The topic becoming hot and locked by the webmaster (@Sladey) After that, I created another topic named Disclaimer. Of course, the topic is created to disclaim staff opinions. Again, the topic becoming hot and staffs giving their opinions. The topic is closed again by @SiKece. But, I don't give up, again. In late 2016, I created a new application with updated info but it's blacklisted without any reason, maybe due to my topics. Again, I created a new app on December 2016, but it's rejected due to my staff app blacklist. In the end, I had given trial as a helper by @Silver750 (co-owner) for 30 days. But, due to reasons, my trial is failed. I created a new app but rejected due to "after the trial". After that, I becoming hated and I becoming disturbed by them, for instance, my avatar is vandalized by a member. So, in late 2017, I'm considered to change my active ID to other but rejected. After that, I'm fled from the community to ST and SC4D. Of course, my situation becoming better. I experienced (till this day) a good and not childish staff.

Lessons: don't give unnecessary advices, better to be efficient but transparent, good time management and recommended to not use your real avatar on forums, especially undemocratic ones.

You can access my profile for proofs. Don't forget to be translated by Google Translate or Indonesian forum users.

Thanks.

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Hiya, @chfzdn.

Interacting with others is a long learning process. I believe one of the key aspects is reviewing what one says before posting while considering how it will come across to other peeps. Does it come across as being commands for what the reader must do? (Such as which mods to install or how to perform certain tasks.) Is it condescending? (Such as implying that not following the advice would be foolish.) Are there any points being stated as the only method which might have other valid viewpoints? Is it written with the feel of an authoritarian perspective when such position is not warranted?

Not every person who reacts in a negative fashion is basing what they say on the topic only. Peeps can be having a bad day IRL and let some of that influence what they say. Look for specific points about the topic and try to see it from their perspective. Set aside an emotional response to their words and look for valid counterpoints they make about the topic and adjust based on those.

I do need to mention one of our guidelines:

Spoiler

11. Other Websites
What happens at a different website stays at that website. If a member has a dispute or grievance with another member, moderator, administrator, or webmaster of a website other than Simtropolis, it may not be brought to Simtropolis and discussed here.

I'll personally consider what you've written as background information only which explain your experiences. We will not discuss any specific aspect of your interactions on the Minecraft server here on Simtropolis.

Hang in there. Over the years it will get easier. I believe you are intelligent and you want to delve into technical aspects. This can be confuzzling to peeps who don't share the same interest. For those who do, providing suggestions and asking questions and observing how that goes will be a good way to learn what works.

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Cori has given excellent advice there.

Even with good intentions, it's possible that written words are misinterpreted by others. Sometimes I've found it helps to take a step back before posting and think how it could be perceived. Are certain sentences worth rephrasing to help more clearly portray the intended message? Because one of the shortfalls with text-based communication is the tone can so easily be lost. That means others may read what's said and get a completely different idea of not only the apparent meaning, but the underlying purpose behind it. This in turn could lead to a negative response, then others jump aboard and follow-on having latched onto the wrong idea.

Should this happen, it may also be worth taking a moment to carefully read through replies, give it some thought for a little while considering whether a reply back would help or hinder. It might well take a few hours, or even a few days to decide either way. But once time has passed, it could be easier to weigh up other's opinions and make a measured response accordingly. Forum topics can occasionally turn heated when there are so many people with varied views on a subject. On its own this isn't a bad thing. But when it becomes personal and diverged away from the subject matter, that's when it often leads to a conflict.

By giving others chance to air their thoughts, it could potentially encourage an interesting discussion rather than a war of words. Though it's true this isn't always the case. Understandably it's not easy, and when clear even a good-natured reply wouldn't help a situation, there are times when it may be better to walk away. Having the knowledge that you've tried your best, and then re-focussing on another project or idea at a later stage.

Learn from what happened, but don't be discouraged and keep at it.

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