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A Nonny Moose

Quote of the Day

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  • Original Poster
  • A cow is a completely automated milk-manufacturing machine. It is encased

    in untanned leather and mounted on four vertical, movable supports, one at

    each corner. The front end of the machine, or input, contains the cutting

    and grinding mechanism, utilizing a unique feedback device. Here also are

    the headlights, air inlet and exhaust, a bumper and a foghorn.

    At the rear, the machine carries the milk-dispensing equipment as

    well as a built-in flyswatter and insect repeller. The central portion

    houses a hydro- chemical-conversion unit. Briefly, this consists of four

    fermentation and storage tanks connected in series by an intricate network

    of flexible plumbing. This assembly also contains the central heating plant

    complete with automatic temperature controls, pumping station and main

    ventilating system. The waste disposal apparatus is located to the rear of

    this central section.

    Cows are available fully-assembled in an assortment of sizes and

    colors. Production output ranges from 2 to 20 tons of milk per year. In

    brief, the main external visible features of the cow are: two lookers, two

    hookers, four stander-uppers, four hanger-downers, and a swishy-wishy.

    Author unknown -- found in my database.

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    I used to rock and roll all night and party every day.

    Then it was every other day...

    now I'm lucky to find half an hour a week in which to get funky

    Homer Simpson

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  • Original Poster
  • The Buddha, the Godhead, resides quite as comfortably in the circuits of a

    digital computer or the gears of a cycle transmission as he does at the top

    of a mountain or in the petals of a flower. To think otherwise is to demean

    the Buddha -- which is to demean oneself.

    -- Robert Pirsig, "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance"

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  • Original Poster
  • If an S and an I and an O and a U

    With an X at the end spell Su;

    And an E and a Y and an E spell I,

    Pray what is a speller to do?

    Then, if also an S and an I and a G

    And an HED spell side,

    There's nothing much left for a speller to do

    But to go commit siouxeyesighed.

    -- Charles Follen Adams, "An Orthographic Lament"

    -- a comment on English Orthography (Spelling)

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    I predict future happiness for Americans

    if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people

    under the pretense of taking care of them.

    Thomas Jefferson

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  • Original Poster
  • I place economy among the first and most important virtues, and public debt as

    the greatest of dangers to be feared. To preserve our independence, we must

    not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt. If we run into such debts, we

    must be taxed in our meat and drink, in our necessities and in our comforts,

    in our labor and in our amusements. If we can prevent the government from

    wasting the labour of the people, under the pretense of caring for them, they

    will be happy.

    -- Thomas Jefferson

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  • Original Poster
  • When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened

    or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I

    cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to

    go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

    -- Mark Twain

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    I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade...

    And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

    Ron White

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  • Original Poster
  • Who loves me will also love my dog.

    -- John Donne

    AND

    If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would

    have made them cute and furry.

    -- Dave Barry


      Edited by A Nonny Moose  

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  • Original Poster
  • While it may be true that a watched pot never boils, the one you don't

    keep an eye on can make an awful mess of your stove.

    -- Edward Stevenson

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  • Original Poster
  • It is ridiculous to call this an industry. This is not. This is rat eat

    rat, dog eat dog. I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they

    kill me. You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.

    -- Ray Kroc, founder of McDonald's

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