Taking a right turn out of the Central police station and another right onto Lilly Avenue, you begin your morning patrol.
Your cruiser moves along Lilly Ave. at 35 mph, the posted speed limit. Things are pretty quiet at this hour. Already mentally preparing yourself for a dull morning, you approach the intersection of 5th Street and Lilly.
You come to a stop, check your rear view mirror and see that no one is coming from behind you, or from any direction, for that matter... You decide to glance down at your computer to see if there are any calls that you can respond to.
As you begin to look up, you suddenly notice a car coming from your left, it zooms past you and barrels through the stop sign... right in front of you.
"Wow, that guy just ran a stop sign!" you think to yourself. Then you realize, "wait a second, I'm a cop, I should probably do something about that!"
You turn your car sharply to the right, turn on your emergency lights and pursue the vehicle.
The driver of the vehicle ahead of you immediately notices your lights and pulls over to the side of the road. You take note of his license plate number, and call the traffic stop in, notifying dispatch of the traffic stop, your location and the vehicle specifics. You also check the vehicle's plates on your computer for wants. No wants come back. Looks like a routine traffic stop... first catch of the day!
You open your door, get out and approach the blue vehicle that you just pulled over.
You: Good morning, I'm officer Graham of the Lytton PD. I stopped you because you ran that stop sign back there. License, registration and proof of insurance, please.
Driver: I'm a doctor and I'm late for work!
You: That's great, sir, are you responding to a life threatening emergency?
Driver: No. I'm not.
You: Well then, I'll need to see your license, registration and proof of insurance, please.
Driver: Maybe you didn't hear me sonny boy, I said I'm a DOCTOR!
You're not really liking this guy's attitude...
You (in a firm voice): Well I'm a POLICE OFFICER and I'm asking you for your license, registration and proof of insurance!
Grudgingly, the driver pulls out his paperwork and hands it to you. The name on the license reads "Darvin Greenwell". You take a quick glance at his registration and insurance paperwork and don't see anything out of the ordinary.
As you begin to proceed back to your vehicle to run his background, Mr. Greenwell decides he still wants to continue running his mouth...
Mr Greenwell: I guess you're a rookie, aren't you?
Before you can respond he continues...
Mr Greenwell: That's what I thought sonny boy, well let me tell you something about PROPER police procedure... you aren't supposed to be pulling over and ticketing us doctors! We're the ones that will save YOUR life...
Woah... did he really just try to lecture you on proper police procedure? You're getting pretty agitated now and you really want to just haul this guy off in handcuffs, but you wisely restrain yourself.
You: Just wait here... and it's Officer Graham, not sonny boy.
Mr. Greenwell: Whatever... OFFICER...
You hop back into your cruiser and run the suspects info through the computer. Mr Greenwell, apparently, has a history of running stop signs, red lights and speeding. No warrants out for his arrest, though.
You slide his drivers license through the scanner on your computer and begin the process of issuing a traffic violation for Failure to Obey a Traffic Control Device.
Walking back to Mr Greenwell's car, you hand him the traffic citation.
Mr. Greenwell: Okay OFFICER GRAHAM, I see how it is. You'd better hope that the next time you're hurt and your life is on the line, I'M NOT the doctor that's assigned to save your sorry &*@$-ing !*#!
You: I need you to sign here, your signature is not an admission of guilt, its just a promise to appear on the court date I've scheduled for you. If you cannot appear in court your options are on the back of the citation.
Mr Greenwell: Whatever... jerk. I'll see you in court sonny boy! And you'd better pray that you won't be needing my services to revive your sorry life some day!
He grabs the ticket from you and signs it.
You hand DOCTOR Greenwell his copy of the citation, his license and his registration/insurance card back. Without saying anything further you decide its best just to walk away from this guy before you do something rash like pummeling him right here on the side of the road.
As you hop back into your car, and make notes of the traffic stop you see Dr. Greenwell pulling away. You decide to put down the paperwork and follow him a little, just to make sure he doesn't run any more stop signs. A block ahead, you see him pull into the parking lot for the Lytton Pet & Animal Hospital and proceed into the building, waving his arms in the air in disgust. And then giving you the bird before storming into the building...
Hah, so he's an animal doctor... "So much for saving my life!"
You swing around the corner, pull over and finish your paperwork. Over the next hour or so, you drive around town continuing your patrol. Nothing exciting happens.
Around 07:30 hrs, you hear a beeping coming from your computer. You look down and notice a flashing message... it's a call.
Computer: Dispatch to any available officer, respond citizen complaint, 535 Perimeter Road.
Ah, finally... something to do!
You call into dispatch to respond to the call and inform them that you're on your way to 535 Perimeter Road... you haven't been in Lytton for very long but you know that's out on the edge of town along Highway 41 in farm country. "Wonder whats up?" you think to yourself.
535 Perimeter Road
As you approach the address of the call you notice a country bumpkin farm-type waving you to the side of the road and onto his property. You pull up and exit your vehicle.
You: Good morning, I'm officer Graham of the LPD. Did you call the police?
Farm Guy: Why yes uhh did! Ayhm fed up! FEDDDDD UUUUUP!
You: Please calm down sir and tell me whats the problem.
Farm Guy: Well... let meh see here... muh farms been vandalized! VANDALIZED! And this ain't thuh first tahm its happened... I calleduh ya guys many times befuh...
You: Ok sir, can you show me where and what happened?
Farm Guy: Why yesser I sure can, raiight ovuh there, they dem destroyed muh crops! Agayn!
The guy points you in the general direction toward his field. You walk over and see this...
Someones got a sense of humor...
You look around for clues and any suspects, but there doesn't seem to be anything or anyone of interest. Whoever did this did a pretty clean job.
You: When did you notice this?
Farm Guy: Juss uhbout half hour ago, then uhh called y'all.
You: I see, sir. Well, I'm going to go ahead and take some pictures of this, write out a report for you and give you a case number. I'll forward this to the property crimes department and a detective from that department will follow up with you if there are any leads.
Farm Guy: Thanks alut for nuthin'... I've uhh already filed five hundred police reports with y'all!
You: I'm really sorry sir. We'll try to keep our eyes out for any vandals in this area.
Farm Guy: Yeauh raight y'all will! Ya'll knowz whut? Nexuh tyme, Imma just use muh shotgun and shoot any son of a beezwax that I seeuh on muh property!
You: Sir, I wouldn't suggest that... for your own sake. Look, here's my business card. Please call me, or the station, if anything happens. If you feel like your life is endanger, please call 9-11. But please rest assured, we will keep our eyes out.
You're really at a loss as to what else to say or do here. So you hand the guy your business card and hop back into your car.
You drive southbound on Perimeter Road and then onto westbound Highway 41 to get back into town.
You soon find yourself crossing over the Highway 41 Bridge that spans the Clearwater River, ahead you see what you think... no... you're sure that's a bunch of rather large birds hanging around on the freeway.
You think to yourself, "Oh, great. First animal doctors, then farmers, now giant birds on the freeway... what is this, Animal Planet?!"
Your thoughts then immediately shift, "gee I really don't want to deal with that Doctor Greenwell at the Animal Hospital, so nobody better run over these birds!"
Turning on your emergency lights, you slow down to a crawling speed just prior to the flock of birds, then come to a complete stop across both lanes of the highway, effectively stopping traffic and providing adequate safety for the birds.
You radio to dispatch your location and the situation and are informed that a California Highway Patrol (CHP) unit is on its way. Its the highway, so its their jurisdiction... you'll just have to watch these birds until they get here.
Fun, fun, fun.
After what seems like an eternity, the CHP shows up and together you shoo the birds off the freeway.
The remainder of your morning is pretty routine. You issue a few traffic citations for mundane violations and help a poor senior citizen retrieve her cat that crawled up a tall Oak tree and simply refused to come down until the proper authorities (you) showed up.
You find some time around noon and reflect on your first morning on the job without a training officer watching your every move... "saving the world from the bad guys is tough," you think to yourself.
Getting hungry, you pull off onto Jim Walls Blvd. to the local Carl's Jr., radio in your Code 7 (meal break) and head inside to stuff your face.
Grub, Grub, Grub...
... you feel polluted.