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In Doug We Trust

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One in-game picture? One fraking in-game picture? Sheesh.

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MrCinatit

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He woke up from one of those restless dreams many of us have. He dreamed he was feeding a large lady spaghetti with a shovel, then found himself in the midst of dancing and singing penguins. 

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But, he didn't remember that when he woke up. In fact, he didn't remember anything. He sat up with a start, and slammed his head into the beam that was hovering precariously close to the bed.

With a cuss and a yelp, he stepped off the bed – and found it was much higher off the floor (four feet) than he remembered, hitting the floor with a loud thud. He attempted to stand, but it appeared the room was swaying. The chandelier also appeared to be swaying.

“Ahem.” The sound came from the bed.

He spun to face the bed. A woman, glaring, squinted from the sheets.

“Whaaaaa...!” he answered, falling backwards into a table (thanks also to the swaying floor). He stared at her.

She stated at him.

“Ahem!” she said again, louder.

“Wh...uh...may I help you?” he asked, seated on the ground.

“What are you do...” She gritted her teeth. “Could you stop pointing...that at me?”

“Huh?” He looked down and realized he was wearing no shirt. Or pants. In fact, all he had on was one blue sock on his left foot. In embarrassment, he grabbed the nearest thing and put it in front of him.

“That dress really is not your color,” she said.

He looked down and turned a deeper shade of red. “I...uh...”

“Who in the hell are you and what are you doing here?”

“I...uh...” He was silent a moment.

“Not really a difficult question,” she said.

Actually, he thought to himself, it was. For some reason, he could not remember who he was. Or where he was. Or what he did.

“I....uh...I don't know.”
“You don't know.”
“No.”

“How could you not know who you are?”

“I...I don't know how to answer that.” He was silent for several moments. She only glared at him.

“Are those your pants?” she asked, motioning to a piece of clothing laying near the bed.

“Ah, yes. Yes they are.” He stared at her.

She raised her eyebrows. “Perhaps you have a wallet?”

“Ah! Yes!” Trying to hide himself, he tossed the dress aside and quickly put on the pants. He fumbled in his pockets for a couple moments, then pulled out a wallet. It opened with a quiet rip.

“Velcro. Classy.” she said sarcastically.

He smiled clumsily and opened it, finding his ID. He furled his brow in confusion, and showed it to her. It was blank.

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She peered at him. “So...you still don't know who you are.” She sat up. He shook his head. “Get out of the room.”

“Why?”
“I need to get dressed.”

“Oh...OH!” He quickly scrambled out of the room.

He found himself in a hallway, which also swayed. He took a few stumbling steps down the hall, then found himself falling into another door with a loud slam.

The door opened to a slight crack. A slightly overweight man, wearing very thick glasses looked out, emitted a loud “EEK!” and slammed the door shut.

Our nameless man cleared his throat and quietly knocked on the door. There was no answer. There were no noises from the inside. He scratched his head, when he heard a sound behind him.

“Ahem.”

She was now dressed. “Figure out who you are, yet?”

“Uh...no...there's a man in there...” he said, pointing towards the door.

“Does he know who you are?”

“Uh...I don't know...hey...wait...you've never told me your name?”

She sighed and moved slowly down the hallway, swaying with the room. “That is because I cannot remember my name either.

He followed her until they came to steps, leading up. She climbed them, until they came to a door in the ceiling. She opened it and poked her head out. She growled and looked down at him.

“Well...perhaps you can explain this.”

He stuck his head out.
They were on a boat.

The boat was in the middle of a large body of water. There was no land in sight.

Firstland-Feb14001231371449.jpg

He could not explain it to her.


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7 Comments


Very nice, mr.C! I new cityjournal for a new cityjournal distribution system. Sweetness, lol. Have you been preparing this journal special for the site upgrade? =P

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Nice way to wake up in the morning.    But a chandelier on a boat?  Nice boat.

ISF

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Scandalous

I find myself highly entertained by this CJ, never sure quite what to expect. Kept me from going to bed at a reasonable hour because I just had to take a look (and comment afterwards  )

In Communist Russia... ugh, I've got nothing, but nice CCCP wallet you have got there. That and I'm afraid to know what exactly is going on in that first picture, you find the strangest things.

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What did you say the dominant Earth species was?  Lemme think...oh, yes.



Just in case anyone has no memory of you telling us that.

I wonder if they actually are married...wouldn't that be a kick?  Actually, it kinda seems like they are, for some reason.  Nice tip about the ID, but if they were Russian, wouldn't they need subtitles?  There must be some significance of this penguin thing, too. 

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Could it be the Titanic....
or the Cina...... Nahhhhhh !

“What are you do...” She gritted her teeth. “Could you stop pointing...that at me?”
You gotta love that line!

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Firebird: According to rumors around the office, the plans for Earth II had been going on for quite some time - for several years, in fact. Unfortunately, there were quite a few failed regions (might post some sometime, should I find a way to incorporate them into our little story). However, the site upgrade did light a fire under the behinds of many of our employees, who began to work overtime to get this done in time (Note to the living relatives of those employees: So sorry...here is some strawberry cheesecake!)

Zelgadis: There have been a few other boats with chandeliers on board. One hit a large ice cube and sunk. And so it goes.

SimHoTToDDy: The first picture is from an original Earth movie called The Magical Mystery Tour, which stared a bunch of bugs - one of them named John Lennon (shown with the shovel). It was a very entertaining movie with a bus, dancing penguins and that nice man from the Travelling Wilburies.

Liv: That picture looks like it was done by John Lennon - who was not Russian, but did sing about being back in the U.S.S.R. You don't know how lucky you are.

Darmok: Oh, I am sure that line is quite innocent! I wouldn't want to get in trouble, that is for certain!

abcvs: Not as bad as the time I came to work forgetting my trowsers. Those leather seats stick!
Or was that a dream?

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