Schulmania's summer re-run series continues with Baywatch, a Monkey Island production... original airdate 2007.12.08... ENJOY!
Monkey Island Sequel: Baywatch Nights
At Chimpania Beach, highly trained and highly toned lifeguards protect the many happy beachgoers who flock to the resort town on the southern end of Monkey Bay. These nubile young professionals can provide CPR, run in slow motion along the beach, or even provide melodrama. That's multi-talented!
Baywatch is located right off of the Monkey Island Expressway, Exit 1, in Chimpania. Monkey Bay is a safer and better place thanks to these monkeys!
At Baywatch Headquarters, lead lifeguard Bob Boon is sending three personal watercraft out into the bay to patrol for sharks, look for swimmers in danger, and to look cool. Let's pause for a moment to enjoy a musical montage of then cutting through waves and jetting across the water... ... ... ahhh, now wasn't that cool?
And now, to Baywatch Nights!
The action on the beach is HOT
But the action off the beach is HOTTER!!
The show's regulars finally get the guest star out of the Hard Rock Café. Monk L. Hastlehopf staggered out to the parking lot and created a melodramatic scene. All passers by stopped and stared, wide eyed. Of course, the camera gradually zooms in on him as he continues his performance.
As several Baywatch Babes hold him up, he makes his way to the mystery van. I mean, the Baywatchmobile. In the background, a violin-sounding synthesizer chord has been playing, cueing you to feel sad.
But, that's a downer. Let's cut to something cooler!
Slow motion music montage... running across the beach. Ahhhhh, that's better!
Now, down to South Beach, where there's trouble! Apparently South Beach Diet followers were protesting at a "Say Yes to Carbs" concert down at the Jane Gooddall Pavilion when trouble broke out!
As pro-Carb partiers listed to songs such as "French Fry Paradise" and "Sugar Sugar" by groups such as Refined Wheat Products and The Pasta Boys, sign waving protesters swam up to the boardwalk and crashed the party. An astute concertgoer whipped out his cell phone and, after making several videos for YouTube, called Baywatch for assistance. Several perky team members swung into action! Off the go, running in slow motion to the watercraft. As the heart-pounding action unfolds, thumping drumbeats pulsate through the synthesizer and guitar riff. This could be trouble - tight here in Riv... I mean Monkey Island!
Upon arrival, every stopped to watch the lithe bodies running in slow motion up to the scene. Team Leader Koko had a suggestion which diffused the situation. After a dramatic pause (which also allowed the camera to zoom in on his attempt of a serious expression) he suggested that the angry partiers and protesters relax next door at the amusement park and then they would feel happier.
Yes! A simple solution which magically makes the problems go away! Another brilliant success for Baywatch! The camera zooms out as the mob heads over to the roller coaster. Then it zooms back in on Koko, who has a smug look on his face and sorta nods slowly. Yeah, he knows he's cool.
Now, for a commercial break.
And, now back to the show.
As the happy pro and anti carbohydrates teams ride the roller coaster with glee, all seems well on the beach.... But is it?
Of course not! We need more melodrama! So, let's bring it on!
A panicked report about a drowning sends the team out again. But, Monkella has a suspicion that something isn't right. Are they falling into a trap?
She was right, of course! It's a fake drowning - meant to lure them away from the REAL crime...
A daring heist at the jewelry show at Primate Plaza!
Can they be stopped?
The Baywatch team is preoccupied on a decoy call. Are the Crown Jewels safe?
... NEXT TIME!
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