“You’re doing a fabulous job at telling yourself things to make you feel better,” continued Brian unabated. “Keep going. Tell yourself what a bastard I am, and how of course Sebastian would never stay away from you. He’s just too busy to talk to you. Being too busy for your own brother makes a whole lot of sense to me too.”
Lukas had just sat his bum back on the seat, when Brian slammed his foot down hard on the gas, throwing him backwards. The car jumped ahead. Lukas' eyes flickered outside and widened in horror. A pedestrian was currently crossing the street! Tightening his hold on the back of the seat, he braced his still throbbing arm on the dash. Brian jerked the steering wheel hard and the car swerved around the frightened citizen.
“But go ahead. Pound me for being a heartless bastard. Because, like you said, you have control over yourself.”
“Hey!” Lukas looked out the back of the car, trying to see if the person was alright or not. The man shook his fist at their speeding car and seemed to be shouting at them. He couldn't blame him, he felt like doing the same. But only if he was out of the car and not moving. “Watch what you’re doing!” he admonished.
His heart was in his throat. Adrenaline pumped through his system at how close they had come to running someone down. Brian was really pissed... and he had never seen him lose his temper this bad before. He was used to the calm, teasing side of Brian...not this. Maybe a little vein popping or a little cursing… but this?
“And, Lukas...” The icy tone of Brian's voice dragged his eyes away from the rear of the car over to Brian's face. He was staring so intently at him; it made him forget that they had almost hit someone. “Don't fault me for never saying something you've never said to me,” Brian said.
The flat emotionless stare from Brian sent shivers down his spine. The eyes that he loved to look into no longer held that sparkle anymore, and that made him feel remorse. It wasn't like Brian gave him any signals that he was feeling like that about him. Why should he be the one to put himself on a limb like that? He wasn't even sure what love was between a couple. How was he supposed to know if what he felt was really love or just some unknown, unnamed emotion. Was all this really his fault? Did he really cause all this? He couldn't believe it.
Movement on the street in his peripheral vision caught his attention and his eyes flickered towards it. Bloody...hell! He gasped silently, his eyes widening in horror. They had drifted across the median and were headed into on-coming traffic. He griped the back of the seat in his left hand hard; he dimly noted Brian spinning around in this seat. The blue car directly in front of them blared its horn angrily at them and swerved.
Lukas was thrown into the dash as their car braked hard, his right shoulder taking most of the impact. He didn't even have time to register the pain as something broke horribly in his shoulder before the whole car began to roll. The sound of screeching, protesting metal and breaking glass became all that he knew.
The vehicle lurched violently again and he was thrown hard into the seat back as the car was once again struck. His forehead cracked hard on the back of the seat making him see stars, and gasped when he felt something slide all too easily through his back. No longer able to tumble around inside the car, he could only gasp at each movement and vibration until the car slid to a stop.
The silence and stillness was overpowering in its completeness after the noise and chaos of a few moments ago. Blinking at his lap, he watched in fascination as drops of dark red liquid dripped down his face and into his lap. They dripped one after the other making a wide shallow puddle that was slowly being absorbed into the seat. He swallowed and tried to take a breath, but the very air seemed hard to draw into his lungs.
The delicate tinkling of broken glass intrigued him and he turned his head slightly to try to better catch the sound. The slight turning of his head caused the liquid to fall into a new place, down onto the floor where the carpet soaked it up. Weariness crept up on him then, and there didn't seem to be a logical reason why he shouldn't go to sleep.
He knew that voice. It was an important voice, but he couldn't remember why. Maybe if he saw who the voice belonged to it might make him remember better. Lukas tried to push off the seat so he could lift his head, but that small movement sent blinding white hot pain down his body, making him freeze.
That woke him up. Why did it hurt so much? His eyes widened in alarm. After a moment a black blanket was placed in his lap, making the red liquid start a new puddle within its fabric.
“You have to stay awake, okay?”
Stay awake? Why? Something brushed against his face, and pressed into his forehead. Oh! This was a different pain, but no less important. You shouldn't touch it! He rocked his head away from the probing touch, and closed his eyes. That's better...it's better without pain. But it didn't last long. The pain was back as something wrapped around his head tight.
Lukas blinked owlishly, as his head was brought up, and he could finally see who the voice belonged too. Ah! It was Brian. That was good. Brian was good to have here. Maybe he'd find out why he hurt so much... Despite having difficulty breathing, he began to rapidly gulp for more oxygen.
“Just don't move, ok?” Brian said, stroking his cheek.
“Ugh...” he groaned in pain. “Um...” he swallowed. The what? What does Brian want from me now? He tried to lift his right hand to bat at Brian's hold on his chin, and frowned. Rolling his head down to his right shoulder, he looked at what should have been a working arm, but instead it was horribly twisted and mangled in the socket, his coat doing little to hide the wrongness of it.
“Um...” mumbled Lukas, frowning at his arm. What was he supposed to say again...? His head was once again lifted, and he blinked at Brian, confused, hoping that Brian would sort this all out for him. It was incredibly hard to think right now, so...what? Brian reached out and started stroking his hair. Hmm, he always did like that.
“Just look at me, then. Look into my eyes and stay awake okay? Help will be here soon,” Brian murmured.
Lukas could only blink tiredly at Brian. Small tremors attacked his body; each shift increasing the pain exponentially. Why would help be coming? That didn't make any sense. “B-B-Brian...” he stuttered, his teeth chattering against each other. Why was it so cold?
Brian stroked Lukas' hair for a moment before leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead. When he pulled back he stared intently into Lukas’ eyes. “That's right. I'm here, Luke. Now just stay awake...”
Yeah, Brian was here...but didn't he want to leave? It was all so confusing and jumbled up. The tremors were becoming more pronounced, and he finally knew why he hurt. He could feel it. Every twisted inch of it... “Wha-w-what...?” Looking down at his left side, he could see a jagged piece of metal protruding from his lower stomach to pierce the top of his leg.
Red gore and flesh clung to the edges. He could actually see parts of his insides clinging to the metal. It was amazing! His left hand pulled itself away from behind his back, and reached out to touch, what looked like a bit of his intestines. He wondered if it was as spongy as it really looked or was it just sort of slimy cause of the blood.
“Don't touch it,” Brian softly commanded, catching his hand before he could reach it. “Leave it there. It will bleed more if we pull it out and I'm not a doctor...” Brian gently lifted his chin once more and placed a kiss on to his forehead. “Stay with me...” Brian pleaded, kissing his forehead again. “Stay awake...”
'Stay with him'?, he thought, blinking slowly, forgetting about his discovery. Was he supposed to go somewhere? He tried to focus on Brian's face, but it swam in front of him. “Brian...you w-want me?” He did his best to focus on the face in front of him so he could better understand the answer... What was the question again?
Brian blinked rapidly before answering. “Yes, Luke. I want you, I've always wanted you... I...” Brian faltered. Sniffling he reached out and patted his cheek. “Just stay awake.”
“You're n-n-not mad?” he stuttered, panting now. It seemed really important that he know this and quickly. It felt as though time was running out. Darkness was creeping into the edges of his vision now. Swallowing hard, his dry tongue slipped past his lips to try and moisten them. He was so thirsty.
Laying Lukas’ hand down by his side gently, Brian used the sleeve of his dress shirt to wipe his face. “I'm not mad,” said Brian, his voice wobbly. “I'm not mad, so just stay awake.”
That was good to know. If Brian was mad at him then when he went to sleep he'd be worried that he'd be sad. He really wanted Brian to be happy. Yeah, Brian should be happy. “Good...” his voice trailed off, and he finally gave in and let his eyes close.
And some extra pictures:
And a teaser from Chapter 2!